Country California

Country music. Seriously.

Unremarkable ’90s Album Cut Day

I’m going to go ahead and name tomorrow (Tuesday, April 28) as Unremarkable ’90s Album Cut Day. Though the men and women of the ’90s – okay, mostly the hat acts – sometimes get a bad rap as being less than distinct, their single releases were usually palatable and sometimes great. If you want to experience the ’90s in their full cheesiness, you have to dig up those songs so bad they were deemed unsuitable for radio release alongside lyrical marvels like Cyrus’ “Achy Breaky Heart” or McGraw’s “Refried Dreams”… songs that, unable meet those high standards, were doomed to live forever on bargain bin albums.

It’s not Tuesday yet, but if you want to get an early start on the festivities, here’s the challenge: Come up with the most atrocious ’90s album cut you can think of and post a Youtube link to it (if available) in the comments.

I’ll go with Kenny Chesney’s recording of “Steamy Windows,” which seems all the worse for having appeared on one of Chesney’s strongest albums to date (1997’s I Will Stand). Amid a generally Strait-worthy set of material that includes an appearance from no less a luminary than George Jones (with Tracy Lawrence on “From Hillbilly Heaven to Honky Tonk Hell”), Chesney throws in a cover of… wait for it… a Tina Turner song. I kid you not.

For this, Kenny Chesney, you deserve whatever scorn the world can heap upon you. The minute-long guitar solo that begins the clip is bad enough, then the song actually starts and things take a turn for the worse:

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  1. I like this idea. Don’t ask me how I know of this song, but here’s one that I think is possibly worse than the Chesney tune you posted. It’s from Bryan White’s debut album and it’s called ‘Me And The Moon’. And for any of you newbies to country music, Bryan White makes the Rascal Flatts boys look like Chuck Norris.

  2. Because of the web filter here at my job, I can’t access youtube. Here are some that still make my skin crawl, sans youtube link.

    Ricochet – Daddy’s Money
    4 Runner – Cain’s Blood
    Mark McGuinn – Mrs. Steven Rudy
    Anything cut by Shania Twain

    • I’ll have to give this one some thought, but after reading OTWG’s comment, I just had to chime in and say that I really hated “Mrs. Steven Rudy” with a passion.

    • I never understood how Mark McGuinn was able to make it into the big time. He didn’t look the part of a country artist (not that this stopped Keith Urban or Kevin Sharp), but his appearance was that of a topsy-turvy individual. For some damn reason I am now interested in what he’s doing now, if any news whatsoever. :(

    • I saw him do that song at The Commdore Lounge one time, and it was a little sad to see how proud he was of it. And hes the tuninest guitar player ive ever seen. stopped in the middle of the song to tune.

  3. Great idea for a thread. I knew my pick as soon as I finished reading. Mr. McGraw “You Turn Me On.”

    Any song that contains a rhyme scheme including “dumaflachi” has to be worthy of consideration.

  4. Say I – Alabama

    When I saw this thread, I knew immediately this would be my choice. Technically, this song doesn’t meet the criteria, as it was released as a single in the mid 90s(although it went nowhere on the charts). But, good God, is this one bad. It may be one of the worst songs I’ve heard in any genre of music. The lyrics are absurd, the melody and production is bland, and the premise is so ridiculous that it seems like it would fit as an uptempo number on a Rascal Flatts album (like “Bob That Head” or “Me and My Gang”). In almost every way, this one’s truly awful, and I still use the song today as a barometer for judging really bad music.

    Here’s a performance of the song at one of the awards show at the time. Hope you guys enjoy.

  5. I think Doug Supernaw’s version of “You Never Even Call Me By My Name” may set the record for most unnecessary cover song ever and biggest waste of talent, as it actually had cameos by Charlie Pride, Waylon Jennings and Merle Haggard (and I want to say David Allen Coe also got into the act).

  6. If you really wanted to give your readers a challenge CM, you’d have asked us to find a mainstream 90’s album cut that wasn’t atrocious.

  7. Good idea!

  8. I can’t find a link, and it’s probably no better or worse than some mentioned here, but Tracy Byrd’s “Honky Tonk Dancin’ Machine” off Love Lessons is pretty awful… as is “Walking to Jerusalem”… I never got that song at all.

  9. Tim McGraw — “That’s Just Me” from All I Want (from a period when most hat acts ended their albums with odes to why they’re country — now those songs are lead singles from albums)
    Hal Ketchum — “I Know Where Love Lives” from Past the Point of Rescue (just does nothing for me, and if I recall had a very odd lyrical structure)
    Lonestar — “Paradise Knife and Gun Club” from their self-titled debut (it’s before they went kiddie-country, and it’s before John Rich went crazy, but it’s a terrible song)
    Shania Twain — “Whatever You Do, Don’t!” and “If You Want to Touch Her, Ask!” from Come on Over (too many exclamation marks on that album, too similar of song titles to follow each other on the album, and I always thought she was saying “If you want to touch her ass”)


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