This Week in Twitter Inanity

All the important (cough, wheeze) tweets of the past week…

I love this new adam lambert single so bad!!! – bomshel

Realizing how many of my things have the abbreviation BP written on them. Great. Just #~@<*^£¥ great. – BradPaisley

I love to stare at people in their cars at stop lights. – kelliepickler

Took sip out of my sweet tea. Something came thru straw. Noticed it wasn’t ice. I spit out a drowned FLY! – cowboytroy

Julianne’s new video is alright, if you’re into that sort of thing. – notchuckwicks

Not pre-ordering my album tomorrow is like open-hand slapping your grandma and yelling “Now cook me some biscuits bitch!!” – blakeshelton

I think it’s been six months since I checked MySpace. I may have missed something. Probably not. – JasonIsbell

A new summary of the course of human history: MenMenMenMenMenMenJaneAustenMenMenMenMarieCurieMenMenTwitter – rosannecash

Extreme Home Makeover is once aging killing me!!!! Bawling! – leannrimes

Be honest… do you text and drive? My guess is most of you will say yes and some of you will lie :) – JaronATLRTL

Yesterday I finished all the vocals on new record next is overdubs I’m thinking about making one of the songs a duet how about Tim McGraw – cmorganmusic

I asked the flight attendant how she was doing. She said, “ask me when you’re getting off the plane”. I have no idea how to take that. – Randy Montana

I have Bieber fever. Don’t hate – dannygokey

I hear Josh Gracin is so broke, every time it rains he follows Little Jimmy Dickens around trying to find a pot of gold. – NotJakeOwen

Just wrote a good song!!! – fastryde

This Damn HEAT is about to Kill a Fat Guy. – coltford

Holy shit. Robert Plant, Patty Griffin and Buddy Miller all in one band??!! Did I die? Am I in heaven?! AND covering Los Lobos? *DEAD* – michellebranch

ToreDallas a new one last night!Thx to R.Flatts for inviting us to be on the show!kickass crowd!It was like throwing gas on a fire..EnFuego! – johnrich

Driving through Portland, and just passed a sign for an “Elephant Garlic Festival”. You see something new every day. – jennettemccurdy

Yes they’re real and fabulous ;) – iamjessiejames

Thought I heard Underwood singing “Undo It” in bathroom, turned out daughter had hair caught in shower door. – DrunkenMartina

Got the night off here in Iowa! Food, bass pro shop then who knows! – TheJoshThompson

Ibuprofen would be a much better drug if it were slightly hallucinogenic. – JaidaDreyer

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About C.M. Wilcox

A freelance writer and humorist with an abiding love of country music, C.M. Wilcox's cutting, clear-eyed take on the genre has drawn the attention of Country Weekly, The Washington Post, and The Tennessean in the years since this site began. He lives near Sacramento and can be reached by email at CMW (at) countrycalifornia.com.

Things People Are Saying

  1. It’s rather depressing to see the spelling and grammatical skills of today’s country music stars. I don’t care if you’ve only got 140 characters, capitalize a damn proper noun every now and then, will you?

  2. Does anyone else sometimes feel like Brad Paisley only tricked us into thinking he’s actually funny?

  3. plain_jo says:

    DrunkenMartina is fantastic.

  4. Probably, Dan. That’s what I’ve been wondering about Blake Shelton too.

  5. FAST RYDE wrote a good song?! I dunno, classics like “That Thang” and “Top Down” are pretty hard to top. (drowning in sarcasm)

    Enjoyed the Rosanne Cash tweet, as well as the obligatory Drunken Martina inclusion.

  6. I don’t just stare at people in cars, I smile and wave enthusiastically at people in passing cars as if I think I know them. Hey, why not have a little fun with the people? It’s not like you’re ever gonna see ‘em again! If I ever went on a car ride with Kellie Pickler, it would be such a hoot.

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