Country California

Country music. Seriously.

This Week in Country Music History

2010 – Arista Nashville drops Sarah Jessica Parker.

2008 – Rascal Flatts postpones a concert at the Nutter Center in Dayton, Ohio. Not very interesting, I’ll admit, but I’ll never pass up an opportunity to include ‘Rascal Flatts’ and ‘nutter’ in the same sentence.

2007 – Troy Gentry is sentenced to three months probation and a $15,000 fine for improperly tagging a captive bear he killed in October 2004. Also, he’s not allowed to visit any zoos or marine parks.

2005 – Less than 12 hours after attending a memorial service for songwriter Merle Kilgore, Kid Rock is arrested for assault after punching a disc jockey in the face at a strip club. Way to keep it classy, Bob.

2005 – Gretchen Wilson’s Here For The Party album is certified quadruple-platinum, ensuring Wilson’s chart dominance for years to c… oh, nevermind.

2001 – Andy Griggs and bandmate Kevin Weaver are arrested for grand theft auto after driving one block in an ambulance they found parked in front of their hotel. Boy, we’re really lowering the bar for outlaw here, aren’t we?

2000Lonely Grill brings Lonestar its first double-platinum album, giving C.M. conniption fits.

1999 – Arista releases Brad Paisley’s debut single, “Who Needs Pictures.” The Professional Photographers of America nonprofit boycotts Paisley, calling the song’s title “reprehensible” and “socially irresponsible.” As a result, all the promo shots in Paisley’s first liner notes are Polaroids taken by Frank Rogers.

1996 – Billy Dean, playing a plumber on an episode of ABC’s hit Superman drama¬†Lois & Clark, becomes the latest in a long line of country stars to pretend-fight with Dean Cain.

1994 – Pat Boone knocks his toupee off while doing a rope trick on TNN’s Crook & Chase. In 2007, Carrie Underwood suffers similar embarrassment while hula hooping on CMT’s Top 20 Countdown.

1990 – David Allan Coe cuts short a show at the Flood Zone, in Richmond, Virginia, after a drunken audience member vomits on his keyboard-playing wife. Sheesh, no need to get all sensitive, Dave.

1990 – Alan Jackson sets off on the first major concert tour of his career, opening for Clint Black in Belton, Texas. Backstage, headliner Black advises Jackson that the country audience never, ever tires of smirky, self-written wordplay songs, so he should pursue that direction for maximum career longevity.

1978 – Columbia releases Johnny Duncan’s “She Can Put Her Shoes Under My Bed (Anytime).” Not quite as romantic as giving her the go-ahead to eat crackers in your bed, but pretty close.

1976 – Johnny Cash breaks his ankle while experimenting with a metal detector in Montego Bay, Jamaica. Seeking to keep up appearances of a particular, written-in-the-stars synchronicity between them, wife June Carter throws herself into a ditch, intentionally injuring her own ankle less than two hours later.

1975 – Live album An Evening With John Denver is certified gold, prompting drunken Charlie Rich to set it on fire.

1973 – In Las Vegas, four assailants rush Elvis Presley on stage. He knocks one back into the audience with a karate kick, while his band and security team subdue the others. Presley believes the assailants to be henchmen hired by Mike Stone, Priscilla’s boyfriend at the time. Beat that with your concert theatrics, T-Swift.

1972 – Ray Price records “The Lonesomest Lonesome,” which probably would have been more popular had it been just a smidge lonesomer.

1964 – Decca releases the album Bill Anderson Sings. Its title proves to be a gross overstatement.

1963 – Ray Price records the Willie Nelson-written “Night Life” in a midnight session at Nashville’s Columbia Recording Studios. This explains why he looks so sleepy on the album cover.

1955 – The Wilburn Brothers record “I Wanna Wanna Wanna” – curiously, not written by Mel Tillis.

1949 – Columbia releases Little Jimmy Dickens’ double-sided hit, “Take An Old Cold ‘Tater (And Wait)” backed by “Pennies For Papa.” Kellie Pickler reprises the former, releasing it as a single in 2011.

1921 – Steel guitarist Les “Carrot Top” Anderson born in Siloam Springs, Arkansas. His improbable mix of crack musicianship and over-the-top prop comedy leads to stints with Tex Ritter and steroids.

1878 – Thomas Edison receives a patent for his invention, the phonograph, which somehow leads to the rise of Gloriana 131 years later.

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6 Comments

  1. I am a horrible, horrible person for laughing at the Wilburn Brothers/Mel Tillis entry as much as I did. Well done, sir.

  2. I laughed at the Bill Anderson crack…the tillis one too…maybe.

  3. I actually laughed audibly at 1975. Good going sir.

  4. OMG, my favorites were Dean Cain, John Denver/Charlie Rich, Elvis and Thomas Edison/Gloriana. Good batch!

  5. Elvis Presley attacked by four assailants onstage? I bet that didn’t cause half as much hooplay as when Kanye Weste interrupted Taylor’s acceptance speech.

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