The Grand Ole Opry announced today that members of the highly-unacclaimed country group The Lost Trailers will become its newest inductees this Saturday, February 14. Opry General Manager Pete Fisher explained: “They seem like a new group, but they’ve actually been together since 2000 and have already put out as many albums as Josh Turner and Carrie Underwood [both Opry members] combined, so we figured they were overdue for some recognition. It’s our honor and privilege to extend this invitation to them.”
Fisher’s statement runs counter to eyewitness reports, which have the invitation coming only as a result of a tense standoff at a Kroger supermarket on Sunday. The Lost Trailers lead vocalist Ryder Lee reportedly stumbled into Fisher in the cereal aisle and angrily confronted him about why the band hadn’t yet been asked to join the Opry. Fisher replied that he would prefer to wait awhile to see if the Trailers could extend their winning streak beyond one hit single. To this, Lee replied “How ’bout you don’t?” Fisher, having no suitable retort, was forced to sign off on the immediate Opry induction of the Trailers.
In other news, Troy Gentry just decided to make a quick run to Kroger to pick up some cereal.