Comments on: The Country Questionnaire, Part II

By: Brandy

Brandy — Thu, 28 May 2009 02:29:45 +0000

1. Should never get a fragrance deal: Rascal Flatts (eau du douche)
2. Suggested nickname for Kristian Bush: The Guy w/ Jennifer
3. Words of wisdom for Miranda Lambert: Don’t ever listen the the record execs
4. Disastrous choice to play June Carter in stage adaptation of Walk the Line: Taylor Swift
5. Due for a big comeback: Wynonna
6. Something John Rich wouldn’t say: I just joined the Democratic Party!
7. Flash forward! Toby Keith in 2029: Playing little clubs and living in his Ford pickup
8. Next country singer to become lounge singer: Julienne Hough
9. Two singers with eerily similar voices: Jamey Johnson and Hank Williams Jr.
10. One word to describe Hank III: Crazy
11. Least impressive ’90s hat act: Bryan White
12. Someone you still need to see in concert: Loretta Lynn
13. Star whose fans will lynch you for mild criticism: Taylor Swift
14. Non-country song often covered by country artists: The Weight
15. Chuck Wicks’ pre-show ritual: watching Oprah and getting his nails done
16. Personality gets in way of music (not John Rich): Wynonna
17. Most annoying concert behavior (by audience): talking or shoving to get closer to stage
18. Alternative career for Jimmy Wayne: Chuck Wicks’ manicurist
19. Surprising announcement from Shania Twain: I’m going on tour with Ricky Skaggs
20. Couldn’t go pop with a mouth full of firecrackers: Randy Travis
21. That thing that always happens in the third verse of a touching song: Mama dies
22. Warning sign that an album is going to suck: if it’s made by a pop star trying to crossover (i.e., Jessica Simpson)
23. Number of Oak Ridge Boys you can name off the top of your head: 0
24. On a scale of 1 to 10, your level of interest in knowing the names of the others: 3

By: Mike M.

Mike M. — Wed, 13 May 2009 19:27:58 +0000

1. Should never get a fragrance deal: Troy Gentry

2. Suggested nickname for Kristian Bush: Dave Heywood

3. Words of wisdom for Miranda Lambert: Keep on being the exception to the rule that good artists don’t come from Nashville Star…also, marry me.

4. Disastrous choice to play June Carter in stage adaptation of Walk the Line: Jeff Cook of Alabama

5. Due for a big comeback: Perfect Stranger (“You Have the Right to Remain Silent” is the best song written in the history of…Anything…Ever)

6. Something John Rich wouldn’t say: “I’m firing Big Kenny, and hiring Two Foot Fred as my new partner.”

7. Flash forward! Toby Keith in 2029: Working as an far-left Air America radio host, and constantly fighting Natalie Maines, who has taken Bill O’Reilly’s job over at Fox News.

8. Next country singer to become lounge singer: It’s gonna be kind of hard for anyone to take that job over Lee Greenwood.

9. Two singers with eerily similar voices: Mindy McCready and Sarah Darling(and yeah, I probably should be embarrassed to know who she is…too much GAC, I guess)

10. One word to describe Hank III: eccentric

11. Least impressive ’90s hat act: Rhett Atkins

12. Someone you still need to see in concert: Allison Krauss & Union Station

13. Star whose fans will lynch you for mild criticism: Carrie Underwood (kind of a common answer…I’d almost feel sorry for her, if it wasn’t for her voice, looks, and the millions of records she was selling)

14. Non-country song often covered by country artists: “Can’t You See”

15. Chuck Wicks’ pre-show ritual: Listening to Motorhead, Cradle of Filth, and Marilyn Mansion, while enjoying a nice, pre-show meal of raw zebra and goat innards. (Seriously, If I were Chuck Wicks, I’d probably spend every waking moment wondering how I got to date a woman as beautiful as Julianne Hough.)

16. Personality gets in way of music (not John Rich): Reba McEntire and/or Natalie Maines

17. Most annoying concert behavior (by audience): Talking during the bass solo.

18. Alternative career for Jimmy Wayne: In all seriousness, I don’t think I can beat “assisted suicide assistant.”

19. Surprising announcement from Shania Twain: “My next album will feature collaborations with Dale Watson, Dem Franchize Boys, AC/DC, and The Lost Trailers.”

20. Couldn’t go pop with a mouth full of firecrackers: Ralph Stanley

21. That thing that always happens in the third verse of a touching song: someone usually dies, finds God, or instigates a riot against society in order to defend their pagan cult.

22. Warning sign that an album is going to suck: If one of the singles off said album has an intro that could’ve been taken from Kids Bop, has the lyrics “bad mamajama from down in Alabama” anywhere in the song, uses the word “it” or “shift” in connection with an explictive, or has a sing-a-long spelling out the words “Good” and “Time”…generally, if those are your singles…you can’t hope to take too much from the throwaway tracks on the album.

23. Number of Oak Ridge Boys you can name off the top of your head: 2 – Jack White and Meg White

24. On a scale of 1 to 10, your level of interest in knowing the names of the others: -100,583,142, 998.83245

By: OTWG

OTWG — Wed, 13 May 2009 09:45:39 +0000

1. Should never get a fragrance deal: Any of the native peoples from east Linda, Ca.

2. Suggested nickname for Kristian Bush: Tool

3. Words of wisdom for Miranda Lambert: Give us a taseful spread in playboy

4. Disastrous choice to play June Carter in stage adaptation of Walk the Line: Kristian Bush

5. Due for a big comeback: steele guitar in Nashville country

6. Something John Rich wouldn’t say:

7. Flash forward! Toby Keith in 2029: Twenty years older than he is now and still more successful than you

8. Next country singer to become lounge singer: Randy Travis

9. Two singers with eerily similar voices: Stoney LaRue & God

10. One word to describe Hank III: odd

11. Least impressive ’90s hat act: Terri Clark

12. Someone you still need to see in concert: Meat Loaf

13. Star whose fans will lynch you for mild criticism: Dale Earnhart Sr ( it’s still bad, even 8 years after he turned right when he should have turned left)

14. Non-country song often covered by country artists:

15. Chuck Wicks’ pre-show ritual: Lining up some male companionship for the evening follwing his show

16. Personality gets in way of music (not John Rich): Shania Suck…errr…Twain

17. Most annoying concert behavior (by audience): two words – AIR GUITAR

18. Alternative career for Jimmy Wayne: Hairdresser

19. Surprising announcement from Shania Twain: I just realized that I really do suck

20. Couldn’t go pop with a mouth full of firecrackers: Jason Boland & The Stragglers

21. That thing that always happens in the third verse of a touching song: some sort of lesson learned

22. Warning sign that an album is going to suck: It comes from Nashville (98% of the time)

23. Number of Oak Ridge Boys you can name off the top of your head: 1… maybe

24. On a scale of 1 to 10, your level of interest in knowing the names of the others: 0.3

By: Christy

Christy — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 05:39:39 +0000

1. Should never get a fragrance deal: Kenny Chesney… I can’t picture a men’s cologne that smells like coconuts
2. Suggested nickname for Kristian Bush:
3. Words of wisdom for Miranda Lambert: Keep writing!
4. Disastrous choice to play June Carter in stage adaptation of Walk the Line: Wynonna
5. Due for a big comeback: Mark Chesnutt, he keeps it country
6. Something John Rich wouldn’t say:
7. Flash forward! Toby Keith in 2029: Who?
8. Next country singer to become lounge singer: Jimmy Wayne
9. Two singers with eerily similar voices: Me and Rosanne Bar
10. One word to describe Hank III: Offspring
11. Least impressive ’90s hat act: Wade Hayes or Brian White
12. Someone you still need to see in concert: Ol’ Merle
13. Star whose fans will lynch you for mild criticism: Rascal Flatts
14. Non-country song often covered by country artists: Depends on who you speak of…. real artists or pop singers???
15. Chuck Wicks’ pre-show ritual: A pedicure to relax
16. Personality gets in way of music (not John Rich): Faith Hill, though her music sucks just as bad
17. Most annoying concert behavior (by audience): “FREEBIRD!!!”
18. Alternative career for Jimmy Wayne: Stripper/Lap Dancer
19. Surprising announcement from Shania Twain: This hairstyle was created tonight, not back in 86 (Ok, I wish she would have said that)
20. Couldn’t go pop with a mouth full of firecrackers: Ashton Sheppard, she’s so country
21. That thing that always happens in the third verse of a touching song: Someone who wasn’t expected to ever walk again, does in fact walk again
22. Warning sign that an album is going to suck: Exclusive distribution through walmart
23. Number of Oak Ridge Boys you can name off the top of your head: 0
24. On a scale of 1 to 10, your level of interest in knowing the names of the others: 3

By: susie mcg

susie mcg — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 16:05:32 +0000

woah!I didn’t know that!well that’s a let down, about catherine britt, well ig uess i should change my answer than to doc watson couldn’t go pop with a mouth full of fire crackers.

By: Mike K

Mike K — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 14:00:48 +0000

1. Should never get a fragrance deal: Jamey Johnson
2. Suggested nickname for Kristian Bush: F.M. (for Foot in Mouth)
3. Words of wisdom for Miranda Lambert: Take your time.
4. Disastrous choice to play June Carter in stage adaptation of Walk the Line: Julianne Hough
5. Due for a big comeback: Mark Chesnutt (fingers crossed)
6. Something John Rich wouldn’t say: I’m sorry, I was wrong…
7. Flash forward! Toby Keith in 2029: Owns several struggling Ford dealerships in OK.
8. Next country singer to become lounge singer: David Nail
9. Two singers with eerily similar voices:
10. One word to describe Hank III: Driven.
11. Least impressive ’90s hat act: David Kersh
12. Someone you still need to see in concert: Kris Kristofferson
13. Star whose fans will lynch you for mild criticism: Carrie Underwood
14. Non-country song often covered by country artists:
15. Chuck Wicks’ pre-show ritual: Not sure, but involves multiple hair products
16. Personality gets in way of music (not John Rich):
17. Most annoying concert behavior (by audience): Texting.
18. Alternative career for Jimmy Wayne:
19. Surprising announcement from Shania Twain: “I’m going to make a bluegrass record.”
20. Couldn’t go pop with a mouth full of firecrackers: Ralph Stanley II
21. That thing that always happens in the third verse of a touching song: Guy realizes that he should tell his wife/girlfriend how he feels because of the advice of drunk/homeless/old guy.
22. Warning sign that an album is going to suck: “Produced by Dan Huff”
23. Number of Oak Ridge Boys you can name off the top of your head: 0
24. On a scale of 1 to 10, your level of interest in knowing the names of the others: 4

By: Leeann Ward

Leeann Ward — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 18:21:35 +0000

As stereotypical as it is, I blame Wynonna’s personality onNaomi. I mean, who could be expected to survive someone like her without coming out a little messed up?:)

By: David Jones

David Jones — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 02:09:03 +0000

1. Should never get a fragrance deal: Toby Keith (possible title: “How Do You Like Me Now”).
2. Suggested nickname for Kristian Bush: Creepy guy at the back.
3. Words of wisdom for Miranda Lambert: Make another album.
4. Disastrous choice to play June Carter in stage adaptation of Walk the Line: Kellie Pickler (guranteed to burst into tears during “Jackson”).
5. Due for a big comeback: Keith Urban’s hairstylist.
6. Something John Rich wouldn’t say: “I’ve screwed up my career and re-joining Lonestar”.
7. Flash forward! Toby Keith in 2029: Has a hit with “Courtesy of the Redneck White Trash Blue Jokes (The Angry Pensioner)”.
8. Next country singer to become lounge singer: Jessica Simpson (but the customers aren’t aloud to touch)
9. Two singers with eerily similar voices: The real Jessica Simpson and the vocalist who sings on her records (which explains why the real one never knows the words).
10. One word to describe Hank III: (Bleep)
11. Least impressive ’90s hat act: Garth Brooks … kidding: probably Neil McCoy.
12. Someone you still need to see in concert: Brooks & Dunn
13. Star whose fans will lynch you for mild criticism: Carrie Underwood (I’m wearing body armour)
14. Non-country song often covered by country artists: Almost any song in the charts right now.
15. Chuck Wicks’ pre-show ritual: Grooms his stubble and smiles at himself in the mirror.
16. Personality gets in way of music (not John Rich): Toby Keith
17. Most annoying concert behavior (by audience): Applauding Carrie Underwood whenever she reaches a high note (approximately every 28 seconds)
18. Alternative career for Jimmy Wayne: Singer … what’s that? He’s one already?
19. Surprising announcement from Shania Twain: “The new album will be out this year!” (incidentaly, that’s what she’s up to in 2029 as well).
20. Couldn’t go pop with a mouth full of firecrackers: His Royal Higness King George Strait
21. That thing that always happens in the third verse of a touching song: Someone dies.
22. Warning sign that an album is going to suck: Jessica Simpson is on the cover.
23. Number of Oak Ridge Boys you can name off the top of your head: 0
24. On a scale of 1 to 10, your level of interest in knowing the names of the others: Less than zero.

By: C.M. Wilcox

C.M. Wilcox — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 01:28:08 +0000

Little Wildflower is the only Britt album I’ve steadfastly avoided. Here’s hoping she comes back around to country for her next release.

By: Rick

Rick — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 00:49:44 +0000

Susie said:

“20. Couldn’t go pop with a mouth full of firecrackers: Catherine Britt”

Susie, have you heard Catherine’s “Little Wildflower” album? The title track is “pop country” along with some of the other tracks and Catherine even sings “Somewhere Over The Rainbow” as well. Yikes! Now that Catherine is back in Australia and working with Bill Chambers, she might go country again or maybe not. Recently she was singing the praises of Tom Petty and saying her next album will be “surprising”. We’ll see…..