The Country Questionnaire, Part II
The questionnaire is back by popular demand. There’s a whole new set of questions and participating is as easy as ever: just copy and paste the list into the comment box and go to town. I’ll include my answers in the first comment, but after that it’s all you folks. If last time was any indication, should be entertaining!
1. Should never get a fragrance deal:
2. Suggested nickname for Kristian Bush:
3. Words of wisdom for Miranda Lambert:
4. Disastrous choice to play June Carter in stage adaptation of Walk the Line:
5. Due for a big comeback:
6. Something John Rich wouldn’t say:
7. Flash forward! Toby Keith in 2029:
8. Next country singer to become lounge singer:
9. Two singers with eerily similar voices:
10. One word to describe Hank III:
11. Least impressive ’90s hat act:
12. Someone you still need to see in concert:
13. Star whose fans will lynch you for mild criticism:
14. Non-country song often covered by country artists:
15. Chuck Wicks’ pre-show ritual:
16. Personality gets in way of music (not John Rich):
17. Most annoying concert behavior (by audience):
18. Alternative career for Jimmy Wayne:
19. Surprising announcement from Shania Twain:
20. Couldn’t go pop with a mouth full of firecrackers:
21. That thing that always happens in the third verse of a touching song:
22. Warning sign that an album is going to suck:
23. Number of Oak Ridge Boys you can name off the top of your head:
24. On a scale of 1 to 10, your level of interest in knowing the names of the others:
Prefer email? Nothing wrong with that!
1. Should never get a fragrance deal: Toby Keith
2. Suggested nickname for Kristian Bush: Harpo
3. Words of wisdom for Miranda Lambert: Duets album with Blake
4. Disastrous choice to play June Carter in stage adaptation of Walk the Line: Cledus T. Judd
5. Due for a big comeback: Tracy Byrd
6. Something John Rich wouldn’t say: “I’m not that cool”
7. Flash forward! Toby Keith in 2029: Charlie Daniels
8. Next country singer to become lounge singer: Richie McDonald
9. Two singers with eerily similar voices: Chris Young and Jason Michael Carroll
10. One word to describe Hank III: angry
11. Least impressive ’90s hat act: Chad Brock
12. Someone you still need to see in concert: George Jones
13. Star whose fans will lynch you for mild criticism: Carrie Underwood
14. Non-country song often covered by country artists: “Keep Your Hands to Yourself”
15. Chuck Wicks’ pre-show ritual: Exfoliate
16. Personality gets in way of music (not John Rich): Wynonna
17. Most annoying concert behavior: Talking through the whole show
18. Alternative career for Jimmy Wayne: Door-to-door tupperware salesman
19. Surprising announcement from Shania Twain: “I’m a dude”
20. Couldn’t go pop with a mouth full of firecrackers: Rodney Hayden
21. That thing that always happens in the third verse of a touching song: Cancer
22. Warning sign that an album is going to suck: Produced by Dann Huff
23. Number of Oak Ridge Boys you can name off the top of your head: 2
24. On a scale of 1 to 10, your level of interest in knowing the names of the others: 3-4
1. Should never get a fragrance deal: Shooter Jennings
2. Suggested nickname for Kristian Bush: Hat Rack
3. Words of wisdom for Miranda Lambert: Don’t stop doing what you do, unless you do it better.
4. Disastrous choice to play June Carter in stage adaptation of Walk the Line: Me
5. Due for a big comeback: Jo Dee Messina
6. Something John Rich wouldn’t say: “I was Wrong”
7. Flash forward! Toby Keith in 2029: Hopefully forgotten
8. Next country singer to become lounge singer: Richie McDonald
9. Two singers with eerily similar voices: Mandy Barnett & Patsy Cline
10. One word to describe Hank III: Awesome (only because P.F.F. isn’t really a word)
11. Least impressive ’90s hat act: Kenny Chesney
12. Someone you still need to see in concert: Loretta Lynn
13. Star whose fans will lynch you for mild criticism: Phil Stacey
14. Non-country song often covered by country artists: Sweet Home Alabama
15. Chuck Wicks’ pre-show ritual: Look at Self in Mirror and remind himself that at least he looks good and that’s all that matters to “country fans”.
16. Personality gets in way of music (not John Rich): Toby Keith
17. Most annoying concert behavior: Just standing there and not moving for the whole show (George Strait)
18. Alternative career for Jimmy Wayne: Cashier at Hot Topic (cause you know he’s emo)
19. Surprising announcement from Shania Twain: “My Album will be out this year…and here’s proof!”
20. Couldn’t go pop with a mouth full of firecrackers: Dale Watson
21. That thing that always happens in the third verse of a touching song: Someone Dies
22. Warning sign that an album is going to suck: When an artist says something about comprimising for the lable. Or John Rich produced it (Jewel excluded)
23. Number of Oak Ridge Boys you can name off the top of your head: 1
24. On a scale of 1 to 10, your level of interest in knowing the names of the others: 4-6 depending om my mood.
As stereotypical as it is, I blame Wynonna’s personality onNaomi. I mean, who could be expected to survive someone like her without coming out a little messed up?:)
Sorry if I have any spelling errors I’m still not awake.
1. Should never get a fragrance deal: Willie Nelson (pot & whisky & old man)
2. Suggested nickname for Kristian Bush: Box or Beaver
3. Words of wisdom for Miranda Lambert: F-ck everyone else do what you want to do it’ll probably be better than what everyone thinks.
4. Disastrous choice to play June Carter in stage adaptation of Walk the Line: toby keith or paula abdule
5. Due for a big comeback: tracy byrd
6. Something John Rich wouldn’t say:I believe in abstince
7. Flash forward! Toby Keith in 2029: Drunk disorderly and using a colostomy bag
8. Next country singer to become lounge singer: jessica simpson
9. Two singers with eerily similar voices:tim mc graw and garth brooks
10. One word to describe Hank III: hawkish(I likeit! )
11. Least impressive ’90s hat act: kenny chesney
12. Someone you still need to see in concert: Loretta lynn
13. Star whose fans will lynch you for mild criticism: Carrie Underwood or taylor swift, Both most likley
14. Non-country song often covered by country artists: Amazing grace(It’s a hymn)
15. Chuck Wicks’ pre-show ritual: Sticking his finger down his throat.
16. Personality gets in way of music (not John Rich): Wynonna (but i love her even more for it)
17. Most annoying concert behavior: Dirks bently he can’t stand still he jumps around like a rat dog, AWESOME SINGING!!!!!
18. Alternative career for Jimmy Wayne:drive through waiter at white castle
19. Surprising announcement from Shania Twain: she’s getting plastic surgery she wants to be like dolly but bigger
20. Couldn’t go pop with a mouth full of firecrackers:catherine britt
21. That thing that always happens in the third verse of a touching song: Either I sigh and feel content or I change the song and say bleh or meh
22. Warning sign that an album is going to suck: it’s
23. Number of Oak Ridge Boys you can name off the top of your head: zero they are one, they are many they are Elvira
24. On a scale of 1 to 10, your level of interest in knowing the names of the others: 4 If I like the music then yah, but you’ve really got to impress me.
WArning sign that an album is going to suck: Some uses the words it’s gonna be the most “Specialist, awesomest, or the sweetest lil thing” It’sy cutsey just sucks!
Susie said:
“20. Couldn’t go pop with a mouth full of firecrackers: Catherine Britt”
Susie, have you heard Catherine’s “Little Wildflower” album? The title track is “pop country” along with some of the other tracks and Catherine even sings “Somewhere Over The Rainbow” as well. Yikes! Now that Catherine is back in Australia and working with Bill Chambers, she might go country again or maybe not. Recently she was singing the praises of Tom Petty and saying her next album will be “surprising”. We’ll see…..
Little Wildflower is the only Britt album I’ve steadfastly avoided. Here’s hoping she comes back around to country for her next release.
woah!I didn’t know that!well that’s a let down, about catherine britt, well ig uess i should change my answer than to doc watson couldn’t go pop with a mouth full of fire crackers.
I promise I didn’t read your answers before I filled this out, CM. Guess we just think alike …
1. Should never get a fragrance deal: Billy Ray Cyrus
2. Suggested nickname for Kristian Bush: Sonny Bono
3. Words of wisdom for Miranda Lambert: tell your boyfriend he’s not nearly as funny as he thinks he is
4. Disastrous choice to play June Carter in stage adaptation of Walk the Line: Julianne Hough
5. Due for a big comeback: Tanya Tucker
6. Something John Rich wouldn’t say: aw shucks
7. Flash forward! Toby Keith in 2029: who?
8. Next country singer to become lounge singer: Tracy Lawrence
9. Two singers with eerily similar voices: Ronnie Dunn/Randy Houser
10. One word to describe Hank III: meh
11. Least impressive ’90s hat act: Clay Walker
12. Someone you still need to see in concert: Trisha Yearwood
13. Star whose fans will lynch you for mild criticism: Carrie Underwood
14. Non-country song often covered by country artists: 80s power ballads
15. Chuck Wicks’ pre-show ritual: a facial
16. Personality gets in way of music (not John Rich): Toby Keith
17. Most annoying concert behavior: texting and using cell phones
18. Alternative career for Jimmy Wayne: sorting the medium, large, and supersize french fry boxes at McDonald’s
19. Surprising announcement from Shania Twain: she was born a man
20. Couldn’t go pop with a mouth full of firecrackers: Loretta Lynn
21. That thing that always happens in the third verse of a touching song: death/redemption
22. Warning sign that an album is going to suck: produced by Dan Huff or Chris Lindsey
23. Number of Oak Ridge Boys you can name off the top of your head: Trying to Love Two Women, Leaving Lousiana In The Broad Daylight, Elvira
24. On a scale of 1 to 10, your level of interest in knowing the names of the others: 5
1. Should never get a fragrance deal: That fat dude from Trailer Choir
2. Suggested nickname for Kristian Bush: Sideshow
3. Words of wisdom for Miranda Lambert: Headbanging causes whiplash.
4. Disastrous choice to play June Carter in stage adaptation of Walk the Line: Taylor Swift
5. Due for a big comeback: Mark Chesnutt
6. Something John Rich wouldn’t say: A sentence that starts by saying “I give him/her credit……”
7. Flash forward! Toby Keith in 2029: Still saying he doesn’t give a s*** about awards.
8. Next country singer to become lounge singer: Mindy McCready (no wait, MAYBE karaoke singer)
9. Two singers with eerily similar voices: Taylor Swift and Gary LeVox
10. One word to describe Hank III: Fake
11. Least impressive ’90s hat act: Emilio
12. Someone you still need to see in concert: Pretty much seen all I care to see.
13. Star whose fans will lynch you for mild criticism: Carrie Underwood
14. Non-country song often covered by country artists: Pretty much most contemporary country singers’ whole albums
15. Chuck Wicks’ pre-show ritual: Pedicure while listening to Kenny Chesney vent
16. Personality gets in way of music (not John Rich): any media whore “singer”
17. Most annoying concert behavior: Drunken yelling that they like to call singing.
18. Alternative career for Jimmy Wayne: Assisted Suicide Assistant
19. Surprising announcement from Shania Twain: “Canada sucks!”
20. Couldn’t go pop with a mouth full of firecrackers: Josh Turner
21. That thing that always happens in the third verse of a touching song: Deathbed discussions
22. Warning sign that an album is going to suck: Dann Huff is listed as producer
23. Number of Oak Ridge Boys you can name off the top of your head: Fancy Free, Elvira, American Made, Thank God for Kids, Leaving Louisiana in the Broad Daylight, I Guess It Doesn’t Hurt to Hurt Sometimes
24. On a scale of 1 to 10, your level of interest in knowing the names of the others: 6
1. Should never get a fragrance deal: Trace Adkins
2. Suggested nickname for Kristian Bush: The great philosopher
3. Words of wisdom for Miranda Lambert: Never stop trying to get better
4. Disastrous choice to play June Carter in stage adaptation of Walk the Line: Martina McBride
5. Due for a big comeback: Due? Real country music.
6. Something John Rich wouldn’t say: “I’m all about formulaic conventionality”
7. Flash forward! Toby Keith in 2029: Heralded aging old guard artist, in the CMHOF, sadly.
8. Next country singer to become lounge singer: Wicks!
9. Two singers with eerily similar voices: The guys from The Dixons and Two Dollar Pistols
10. One word to describe Hank III: Important
11. Least impressive ’90s hat act: Jeff Carson – that’s one right?
12. Someone you still need to see in concert: Steve Earle
13. Star whose fans will lynch you for mild criticism: Bucky
14. Non-country song often covered by country artists: Dead Flowers/Wild Horses (though arguably country songs)
15. Chuck Wicks’ pre-show ritual: manscaping, skin moisturizing, vocal warmup, dancers stretch routine with whats her face, insertion of faulty personality chip, go onstage.
16. Personality gets in way of music (not John Rich): Ryan Adams
17. Most annoying concert behavior: from the artist or the people, cause the invasion of my personal space is what bothers me about the people.
18. Alternative career for Jimmy Wayne: Conspiracy Theorist
19. Surprising announcement from Shania Twain: Duet Record with Garth Brooks
20. Couldn’t go pop with a mouth full of firecrackers: George Jones
21. That thing that always happens in the third verse of a touching song: I roll my eyes
22. Warning sign that an album is going to suck: I hear about on GAC the Streets
23. Number of Oak Ridge Boys you can name off the top of your head: 0
24. On a scale of 1 to 10, your level of interest in knowing the names of the others: is 0 on a scale of 1 to 10?
1. Should never get a fragrance deal: john rich
2. Suggested nickname for Kristian Bush: Krissy
3. Words of wisdom for Miranda Lambert: don’t try so hard, b ur self
4. Disastrous choice to play June Carter in stage adaptation of Walk the Line: Taylor Swift
5. Due for a big comeback: Shania
6. Something John Rich wouldn’t say: Johnny Cash woulda whooped my ass
7. Flash forward! Toby Keith in 2029: opening his own chain of nursing homes
8. Next country singer to become lounge singer: julianne hough
9. Two singers with eerily similar voices: Mac Powell / Travis Tritt
10. One word to describe Hank III: creepy
11. Least impressive ’90s hat act: John Micheal Montgomery
12. Someone you still need to see in concert: Tracy Lawrence
13. Star whose fans will lynch you for mild criticism: dunno
14. Non-country song often covered by country artists: Freebird
15. Chuck Wicks’ pre-show ritual: Ballroom Dancing
16. Personality gets in way of music (not John Rich): Toby Keith
17. Most annoying concert behavior: talking too much, we’re here to hear you sing so get to it.
18. Alternative career for Jimmy Wayne: Abercrombie Model
19. Surprising announcement from Shania Twain: “I am releasing a bluegrass album”
20. Couldn’t go pop with a mouth full of firecrackers: Randy Travis
21. That thing that always happens in the third verse of a touching song: fast forward
22. Warning sign that an album is going to suck: has the word man in three or more of the song titles i.e. john rich
23. Number of Oak Ridge Boys you can name off the top of your head: Richard Sturben, William Lee Golden
24. On a scale of 1 to 10, your level of interest in knowing the names of the others:2
1. Should never get a fragrance deal: The Lost Trailers
2. Suggested nickname for Kristian Bush: Guy-who-needs-to-stop-talking-to-preserve-his-career
3. Words of wisdom for Miranda Lambert: Keep it coming!
4. Disastrous choice to play June Carter in stage adaptation of Walk the Line: Kellie Pickler
5. Due for a big comeback: SHeDAISY
6. Something John Rich wouldn’t say: I’m sorry for being so full of myself!
7. Flash forward! Toby Keith in 2029: “Why don’t I have as many awards as Brad Paisley‽”
8. Next country singer to become lounge singer: Gretchen Wilson
9. Two singers with eerily similar voices: No idea.
10. One word to describe Hank III: Sporadic?
11. Least impressive ’90s hat act: Guy who sings “Billy’s Got His Beer Goggles On”
12. Someone you still need to see in concert: Anyone… Except Lonestar. xD
13. Star whose fans will lynch you for mild criticism: Shania Underwood
14. Non-country song often covered by country artists: …
15. Chuck Wicks’ pre-show ritual: Pets newborn puppies while hugging bunnies.
16. Personality gets in way of music (not John Rich): The Dixie Chicks
17. Most annoying concert behavior (by audience): Clapping during the song.
18. Alternative career for Jimmy Wayne: Emo-poet.
19. Surprising announcement from Shania Twain: “My new album is coming out… tomorrow!!!!!”
20. Couldn’t go pop with a mouth full of firecrackers: Patty Loveless
21. That thing that always happens in the third verse of a touching song: The death of a mother/father telling his/her son/daughter something touching/sad.
22. Warning sign that an album is going to suck: The artist contains the word “Trailer”
23. Number of Oak Ridge Boys you can name off the top of your head: 0
24. On a scale of 1 to 10, your level of interest in knowing the names of the others: 0
1. Should never get a fragrance deal: Billy Joe Shaver
2. Suggested nickname for Kristian Bush: Lucky
4. Disastrous choice to play June Carter in stage adaptation of Walk the Line: Miley Cyrus
5. Due for a big comeback: Lorrie Morgan
6. Something John Rich wouldn’t say: I might be wrong
7. Flash forward! Toby Keith in 2029: Trying politics
8. Next country singer to become lounge singer: John Rich
10. One word to describe Hank III: Overrated
11. Least impressive ’90s hat act: Michael Peterson
12. Someone you still need to see in concert: Patty Loveless
13. Star whose fans will lynch you for mild criticism: Carrrie Underwood
14. Non-country song often covered by country artists: At Last
15. Chuck Wicks’ pre-show ritual: Look in mirror
16. Personality gets in way of music (not John Rich): Toby Keith
17. Most annoying concert behavior (by audience): Talking
18. Alternative career for Jimmy Wayne: Nothing could possibly challenge his actual previous career; he must have been the least convincing prison guard ever
19. Surprising announcement from Shania Twain: Going hardcore traditional country on her new album
20. Couldn’t go pop with a mouth full of firecrackers: Randy Travis
21. That thing that always happens in the third verse of a touching song: Someone dies
22. Warning sign that an album is going to suck: The songs all have three writers or more, several of them including Chris Lindsey
23. Number of Oak Ridge Boys you can name off the top of your head: Two
24. On a scale of 1 to 10, your level of interest in knowing the names of the others: 5
Jimmy Wayne was a prison guard? That is fantastic.
1. Should never get a fragrance deal: Billy Ray Cyrus
2. Suggested nickname for Kristian Bush: Shutyourmouthplease
3. Words of wisdom for Miranda Lambert: Duets album.
4. Disastrous choice to play June Carter in stage adaptation of Walk the Line: Jessica Simpson
5. Due for a big comeback: Shania.
6. Something John Rich wouldn’t say: I admit that I was wrong…
7. Flash forward! Toby Keith in 2029: Fat guy on a couch.
8. Next country singer to become lounge singer: Jimmy Wayne
9. Two singers with eerily similar voices: I dunno.
10. One word to describe Hank III: Trey.
11. Least impressive ’90s hat act: Chad Brock.
12. Someone you still need to see in concert: George Strait
13. Star whose fans will lynch you for mild criticism: Carrie Underwood
14. Non-country song often covered by country artists: Hotel California
15. Chuck Wicks’ pre-show ritual: Singing into a mirror
16. Personality gets in way of music (not John Rich): Krisitan Bush
17. Most annoying concert behavior (by audience): Screaming on a phone, “OH EM GEE! I CAN SEE HIM/HER!)
18. Alternative career for Jimmy Wayne: Professional shopper
19. Surprising announcement from Shania Twain: My album is coming out in six weeks!
20. Couldn’t go pop with a mouth full of firecrackers: Randy Travis
21. That thing that always happens in the third verse of a touching song: Someone dies.
22. Warning sign that an album is going to suck: It’s mostly written by John Rich.
23. Number of Oak Ridge Boys you can name off the top of your head: One.
24. On a scale of 1 to 10, your level of interest in knowing the names of the others: 2
I’m gonna answer without reading the other responses…
1. Should never get a fragrance deal: Cledus T. Judd
2. Suggested nickname for Kristian Bush: Tonto
3. Words of wisdom for Miranda Lambert: blot clothing with Dawn and hydrogen peroxide to get out blood stains
4. Disastrous choice to play June Carter in stage adaptation of Walk the Line: Amy Winehouse
5. Due for a big comeback: Trick Pony
6. Something John Rich wouldn’t say: I’ll hold my tongue
7. Flash forward! Toby Keith in 2029: 300 lbs, doing the obscure casino circuit
8. Next country singer to become lounge singer: Jo Dee Messina
9. Two singers with eerily similar voices: Garth Brooks and Justin Townes Earle (seriously!!)
10. One word to describe Hank III: overexertion
11. Least impressive ’90s hat act: ? (I liked most of ‘em actually)
12. Someone you still need to see in concert: AC/DC, Merle
13. Star whose fans will lynch you for mild criticism: Carrie
14. Non-country song often covered by country artists: Sweet Child o’ Mine
15. Chuck Wicks’ pre-show ritual: recitation of Emily Dickenson poems
16. Personality gets in way of music (not John Rich): Axl Rose
17. Most annoying concert behavior (by audience): peeing where there is no toilet
18. Alternative career for Jimmy Wayne: are there professional wusses?
19. Surprising announcement from Shania Twain: scabies ;)
20. Couldn’t go pop with a mouth full of firecrackers: Hayes Carll
21. That thing that always happens in the third verse of a touching song: Grandpa meets Jesus
22. Warning sign that an album is going to suck: track 12 is a dance remix of the first single
23. Number of Oak Ridge Boys you can name off the top of your head: 1
24. On a scale of 1 to 10, your level of interest in knowing the names of the others: 1
9. Two singers with eerily similar voices: Garth Brooks and Justin Townes Earle (seriously!!)
I TOTALLY pointed that out in my review of his first record. I thought I was the only one.
1. Should never get a fragrance deal: Charlie Daniels
2. Suggested nickname for Kristian Bush: Kix
3. Words of wisdom for Miranda Lambert: Violence Never Solves Anything
4. Disastrous choice to play June Carter in stage adaptation of Walk the Line: Kelly Clarkson
5. Due for a big comeback: Shania
6. Something John Rich wouldn’t say: Lots of People Helped Me Along The Way
7. Flash forward! Toby Keith in 2029: Gentleman Farmer & Restauranteur
8. Next country singer to become lounge singer: Richie McDonald
9. Two singers with eerily similar voices: ?
10. One word to describe Hank III: Punk
11. Least impressive ’90s hat act: Clint Black
12. Someone you still need to see in concert: Sugarland
13. Star whose fans will lynch you for mild criticism: Shania
14. Non-country song often covered by country artists: Freebird
15. Chuck Wicks’ pre-show ritual: Kissing Mirror (a la A-Rod)
16. Personality gets in way of music (not John Rich): Natalie Maines
17. Most annoying concert behavior (by audience): Talking on Cell Phones
18. Alternative career for Jimmy Wayne: TSA Screener
19. Surprising announcement from Shania Twain: “I’m Doing A Duet With Steve Earle”
20. Couldn’t go pop with a mouth full of firecrackers: Alan Jackson
21. That thing that always happens in the third verse of a touching song: Death
22. Warning sign that an album is going to suck: Five Songwriters on Each Song
23. Number of Oak Ridge Boys you can name off the top of your head: 1
24. On a scale of 1 to 10, your level of interest in knowing the names of the others: 1
I think some of us answered #23 wrong … I named as many of their song as I could. And you meant the members … I can name William Lee Golden, Duane Allan, Joe somebody, … and there’s another one too. So I can name 2 and a half.
1. Should never get a fragrance deal: David Allen Coe
2. Suggested nickname for Kristian Bush: Garfunkel
3. Words of wisdom for Miranda Lambert: Never record with Dann Huff
4. Disastrous choice to play June Carter in stage adaptation of Walk the Line: Snoop Dogg
5. Due for a big comeback: James House
6. Something John Rich wouldn’t say: “No comment.”
7. Flash forward! Toby Keith in 2029: Filming “Beer For My Horses 8: The Quickening”
8. Next country singer to become lounge singer: Gary LeVox
9. Two singers with eerily similar voices: Julie Miller/Abra Moore
10. One word to describe Hank III: Wannabe
11. Least impressive ’90s hat act: Ty England
12. Someone you still need to see in concert: Richard Thompson
13. Star whose fans will lynch you for mild criticism: Carrie Underwood
14. Non-country song often covered by country artists: anything by Diane Warren
15. Chuck Wicks’ pre-show ritual: Eliminating that not-so-fresh feeling
16. Personality gets in way of music (not John Rich): Hank Williams Jr.
17. Most annoying concert behavior (by audience): Talking to their friends or on a cell phone while the performer is singing (worst at small clubs/bars)
18. Alternative career for Jimmy Wayne: High School Musical 4
19. Surprising announcement from Shania Twain: Posing for Playboy
20. Couldn’t go pop with a mouth full of firecrackers: Marty Brown
21. That thing that always happens in the third verse of a touching song: Stupid oaf of a man realizes that his friends, his truck, his beer, his NASCAR races, etc., don’t compare to the love of a good woman.
22. Warning sign that an album is going to suck: The label on the cover reads “As seen on American Idol!!!”
23. Number of Oak Ridge Boys you can name off the top of your head: 5
24. On a scale of 1 to 10, your level of interest in knowing the names of the others: 1
1. Should never get a fragrance deal: Craig Morgan
2. Suggested nickname for Kristian Bush: That one dude from Sugarland
3. Words of wisdom for Miranda Lambert: Keep on rockin’ girlfriend!!!
4. Disastrous choice to play June Carter in stage adaptation of Walk the Line: Lorrie Morgan
5. Due for a big comeback: Nobody I can think of right now
6. Something John Rich wouldn’t say: “I love my fans”
7. Flash forward! Toby Keith in 2029: A billionaire in a nursing home
8. Next country singer to become lounge singer: Billy Ray
9. Two singers with eerily similar voices: Rodney Atkins and Tim Mcgraw
10. One word to describe Hank III: @#$%!
11. Least impressive ’90s hat act: Mark Chestnutt
12. Someone you still need to see in concert: Miranda
13. Star whose fans will lynch you for mild criticism: Tim Mcgraw
14. Non-country song often covered by country artists: Free Bird (Sorry, plain_jo)
15. Chuck Wicks’ pre-show ritual: Stare at myself in the mirror (with no shirt) ain’t i so hot (no)
16. Personality gets in way of music (not John Rich): Dolly Parton
17. Most annoying concert behavior (by audience): [No Comment]
18. Alternative career for Jimmy Wayne:
19. Surprising announcement from Shania Twain: “I’m givin’ up on men to become a lesbo”
20. Couldn’t go pop with a mouth full of firecrackers: Alan Jackson
21. That thing that always happens in the third verse of a touching song: Someone dies
22. Warning sign that an album is going to suck: It’s by Aaron Tippin
23. Number of Oak Ridge Boys you can name off the top of your head: 0
24. On a scale of 1 to 10, your level of interest in knowing the names of the others: 0
. Should never get a fragrance deal: Unknown Hinson
2. Suggested nickname for Kristian Bush: Buttercup
3. Words of wisdom for Miranda Lambert: Dump Blake Shelton! He’s not a Texan…
4. Disastrous choice to play June Carter in stage adaptation of Walk the Line: Miley Cyrus
5. Due for a big comeback: The Highwaymen
6. Something John Rich wouldn’t say: I’m GAY and no, I won’t come out of the closet!
7. Flash forward! Toby Keith in 2029: Owner “Toby’s Fried Possum” Restaurant Chain
“8. Next country singer to become lounge singer: Garth Brooks
9. Two singers with eerily similar voices: Cia Leigh Cherryhomles and Lillie Mae Rische (Jypsi)
10. One word to describe Hank III: Psychotic
11. Least impressive ’90s hat act: Garth Brooks
12. Someone you still need to see in concert: Sunny Sweeney
13. Star whose fans will lynch you for mild criticism: Carrie Underwear
14. Non-country song often covered by country artists: Star Spangled Banner
15. Chuck Wicks’ pre-show ritual: A Summer’s Eve douche
16. Personality gets in way of music (not John Rich): Toby Keith
17. Most annoying concert behavior (by audience): Getting Barfed On
18. Alternative career for Jimmy Wayne: Department Store Mannequin
19. Surprising announcement from Shania Twain: I’m really not Canadian! eh….
20. Couldn’t go pop with a mouth full of firecrackers: Heather Myles
21. That thing that always happens in the third verse of a touching song: marriage/divorce
22. Warning sign that an album is going to suck: Its From a Current “Top 40″ Country Artist
23. Number of Oak Ridge Boys you can name off the top of your head:1 (Because of the beard)
24. On a scale of 1 to 10, your level of interest in knowing the names of the others: -10
1. Should never get a fragrance deal:
Really it’s lame that any artist gets one.
2. Suggested nickname for Kristian Bush:
I’m with Hollerin’ Ben
3. Words of wisdom for Miranda Lambert:
Don’t take so long to release albums…don’t ever adopt Blake’s music tastes.
4. Disastrous choice to play June Carter in stage adaptation of Walk the Line:
Taylor Swift
5. Due for a big comeback:
Mark Chesnutt
6. Something John Rich wouldn’t say:
Obama isn’t so bad after all.
7. Flash forward! Toby Keith in 2029:
Rush Limbaugh’s less articulate, gum chewing replacement…(Toby always seems to be chewing gum in radio interviews)
8. Next country singer to become lounge singer:
Wynonna…if she’s not careful
9. Two singers with eerily similar voices:
Tim McGraw/ Rodney Atkins and Vince Gill/Jon Randall
10. One word to describe Hank III:
disturbed
11. Least impressive ’90s hat act:
I’m kind of with Trailer, but I definitely disagree with the people who said Clint Black or Mark Chesnutt.
12. Someone you still need to see in concert:
Willie Nelson
13. Star whose fans will lynch you for mild criticism:
I don’t wanna say, ’cause then I’ll be lynched by that artist’s fans…
14. Non-country song often covered by country artists:
Free Bird
15. Chuck Wicks’ pre-show ritual:
Nothing clever here
16. Personality gets in way of music (not John Rich):
Kristian Bush
17. Most annoying concert behavior (by audience):
cell phones
18. Alternative career for Jimmy Wayne:
creepy counselor
19. Surprising announcement from Shania Twain:
she never wanted to be isolated…it was all Mutt
20. Couldn’t go pop with a mouth full of firecrackers:
Randy Travis (Alan Jackson kind of did with his Like Red on A Rose album, Dallas)
21. That thing that always happens in the third verse of a touching song:
death
22. Warning sign that an album is going to suck:
CMW stole my answer. Sure, this is his survey, but I still swear he stole it.
23. Number of Oak Ridge Boys you can name off the top of your head:
1
24. On a scale of 1 to 10, your level of interest in knowing the names of the others:
Why, 10, of course!:)
1. Should never get a fragrance deal: Toby Keith (possible title: “How Do You Like Me Now”).
2. Suggested nickname for Kristian Bush: Creepy guy at the back.
3. Words of wisdom for Miranda Lambert: Make another album.
4. Disastrous choice to play June Carter in stage adaptation of Walk the Line: Kellie Pickler (guranteed to burst into tears during “Jackson”).
5. Due for a big comeback: Keith Urban’s hairstylist.
6. Something John Rich wouldn’t say: “I’ve screwed up my career and re-joining Lonestar”.
7. Flash forward! Toby Keith in 2029: Has a hit with “Courtesy of the Redneck White Trash Blue Jokes (The Angry Pensioner)”.
8. Next country singer to become lounge singer: Jessica Simpson (but the customers aren’t aloud to touch)
9. Two singers with eerily similar voices: The real Jessica Simpson and the vocalist who sings on her records (which explains why the real one never knows the words).
10. One word to describe Hank III: (Bleep)
11. Least impressive ’90s hat act: Garth Brooks … kidding: probably Neil McCoy.
12. Someone you still need to see in concert: Brooks & Dunn
13. Star whose fans will lynch you for mild criticism: Carrie Underwood (I’m wearing body armour)
14. Non-country song often covered by country artists: Almost any song in the charts right now.
15. Chuck Wicks’ pre-show ritual: Grooms his stubble and smiles at himself in the mirror.
16. Personality gets in way of music (not John Rich): Toby Keith
17. Most annoying concert behavior (by audience): Applauding Carrie Underwood whenever she reaches a high note (approximately every 28 seconds)
18. Alternative career for Jimmy Wayne: Singer … what’s that? He’s one already?
19. Surprising announcement from Shania Twain: “The new album will be out this year!” (incidentaly, that’s what she’s up to in 2029 as well).
20. Couldn’t go pop with a mouth full of firecrackers: His Royal Higness King George Strait
21. That thing that always happens in the third verse of a touching song: Someone dies.
22. Warning sign that an album is going to suck: Jessica Simpson is on the cover.
23. Number of Oak Ridge Boys you can name off the top of your head: 0
24. On a scale of 1 to 10, your level of interest in knowing the names of the others: Less than zero.
1. Should never get a fragrance deal: Jamey Johnson
2. Suggested nickname for Kristian Bush: F.M. (for Foot in Mouth)
3. Words of wisdom for Miranda Lambert: Take your time.
4. Disastrous choice to play June Carter in stage adaptation of Walk the Line: Julianne Hough
5. Due for a big comeback: Mark Chesnutt (fingers crossed)
6. Something John Rich wouldn’t say: I’m sorry, I was wrong…
7. Flash forward! Toby Keith in 2029: Owns several struggling Ford dealerships in OK.
8. Next country singer to become lounge singer: David Nail
9. Two singers with eerily similar voices:
10. One word to describe Hank III: Driven.
11. Least impressive ’90s hat act: David Kersh
12. Someone you still need to see in concert: Kris Kristofferson
13. Star whose fans will lynch you for mild criticism: Carrie Underwood
14. Non-country song often covered by country artists:
15. Chuck Wicks’ pre-show ritual: Not sure, but involves multiple hair products
16. Personality gets in way of music (not John Rich):
17. Most annoying concert behavior (by audience): Texting.
18. Alternative career for Jimmy Wayne:
19. Surprising announcement from Shania Twain: “I’m going to make a bluegrass record.”
20. Couldn’t go pop with a mouth full of firecrackers: Ralph Stanley II
21. That thing that always happens in the third verse of a touching song: Guy realizes that he should tell his wife/girlfriend how he feels because of the advice of drunk/homeless/old guy.
22. Warning sign that an album is going to suck: “Produced by Dan Huff”
23. Number of Oak Ridge Boys you can name off the top of your head: 0
24. On a scale of 1 to 10, your level of interest in knowing the names of the others: 4
1. Should never get a fragrance deal: Kenny Chesney… I can’t picture a men’s cologne that smells like coconuts
2. Suggested nickname for Kristian Bush:
3. Words of wisdom for Miranda Lambert: Keep writing!
4. Disastrous choice to play June Carter in stage adaptation of Walk the Line: Wynonna
5. Due for a big comeback: Mark Chesnutt, he keeps it country
6. Something John Rich wouldn’t say:
7. Flash forward! Toby Keith in 2029: Who?
8. Next country singer to become lounge singer: Jimmy Wayne
9. Two singers with eerily similar voices: Me and Rosanne Bar
10. One word to describe Hank III: Offspring
11. Least impressive ’90s hat act: Wade Hayes or Brian White
12. Someone you still need to see in concert: Ol’ Merle
13. Star whose fans will lynch you for mild criticism: Rascal Flatts
14. Non-country song often covered by country artists: Depends on who you speak of…. real artists or pop singers???
15. Chuck Wicks’ pre-show ritual: A pedicure to relax
16. Personality gets in way of music (not John Rich): Faith Hill, though her music sucks just as bad
17. Most annoying concert behavior (by audience): “FREEBIRD!!!”
18. Alternative career for Jimmy Wayne: Stripper/Lap Dancer
19. Surprising announcement from Shania Twain: This hairstyle was created tonight, not back in 86 (Ok, I wish she would have said that)
20. Couldn’t go pop with a mouth full of firecrackers: Ashton Sheppard, she’s so country
21. That thing that always happens in the third verse of a touching song: Someone who wasn’t expected to ever walk again, does in fact walk again
22. Warning sign that an album is going to suck: Exclusive distribution through walmart
23. Number of Oak Ridge Boys you can name off the top of your head: 0
24. On a scale of 1 to 10, your level of interest in knowing the names of the others: 3
1. Should never get a fragrance deal: Any of the native peoples from east Linda, Ca.
2. Suggested nickname for Kristian Bush: Tool
3. Words of wisdom for Miranda Lambert: Give us a taseful spread in playboy
4. Disastrous choice to play June Carter in stage adaptation of Walk the Line: Kristian Bush
5. Due for a big comeback: steele guitar in Nashville country
6. Something John Rich wouldn’t say:
7. Flash forward! Toby Keith in 2029: Twenty years older than he is now and still more successful than you
8. Next country singer to become lounge singer: Randy Travis
9. Two singers with eerily similar voices: Stoney LaRue & God
10. One word to describe Hank III: odd
11. Least impressive ’90s hat act: Terri Clark
12. Someone you still need to see in concert: Meat Loaf
13. Star whose fans will lynch you for mild criticism: Dale Earnhart Sr ( it’s still bad, even 8 years after he turned right when he should have turned left)
14. Non-country song often covered by country artists:
15. Chuck Wicks’ pre-show ritual: Lining up some male companionship for the evening follwing his show
16. Personality gets in way of music (not John Rich): Shania Suck…errr…Twain
17. Most annoying concert behavior (by audience): two words – AIR GUITAR
18. Alternative career for Jimmy Wayne: Hairdresser
19. Surprising announcement from Shania Twain: I just realized that I really do suck
20. Couldn’t go pop with a mouth full of firecrackers: Jason Boland & The Stragglers
21. That thing that always happens in the third verse of a touching song: some sort of lesson learned
22. Warning sign that an album is going to suck: It comes from Nashville (98% of the time)
23. Number of Oak Ridge Boys you can name off the top of your head: 1… maybe
24. On a scale of 1 to 10, your level of interest in knowing the names of the others: 0.3
1. Should never get a fragrance deal: Troy Gentry
2. Suggested nickname for Kristian Bush: Dave Heywood
3. Words of wisdom for Miranda Lambert: Keep on being the exception to the rule that good artists don’t come from Nashville Star…also, marry me.
4. Disastrous choice to play June Carter in stage adaptation of Walk the Line: Jeff Cook of Alabama
5. Due for a big comeback: Perfect Stranger (“You Have the Right to Remain Silent” is the best song written in the history of…Anything…Ever)
6. Something John Rich wouldn’t say: “I’m firing Big Kenny, and hiring Two Foot Fred as my new partner.”
7. Flash forward! Toby Keith in 2029: Working as an far-left Air America radio host, and constantly fighting Natalie Maines, who has taken Bill O’Reilly’s job over at Fox News.
8. Next country singer to become lounge singer: It’s gonna be kind of hard for anyone to take that job over Lee Greenwood.
9. Two singers with eerily similar voices: Mindy McCready and Sarah Darling(and yeah, I probably should be embarrassed to know who she is…too much GAC, I guess)
10. One word to describe Hank III: eccentric
11. Least impressive ’90s hat act: Rhett Atkins
12. Someone you still need to see in concert: Allison Krauss & Union Station
13. Star whose fans will lynch you for mild criticism: Carrie Underwood (kind of a common answer…I’d almost feel sorry for her, if it wasn’t for her voice, looks, and the millions of records she was selling)
14. Non-country song often covered by country artists: “Can’t You See”
15. Chuck Wicks’ pre-show ritual: Listening to Motorhead, Cradle of Filth, and Marilyn Mansion, while enjoying a nice, pre-show meal of raw zebra and goat innards. (Seriously, If I were Chuck Wicks, I’d probably spend every waking moment wondering how I got to date a woman as beautiful as Julianne Hough.)
16. Personality gets in way of music (not John Rich): Reba McEntire and/or Natalie Maines
17. Most annoying concert behavior (by audience): Talking during the bass solo.
18. Alternative career for Jimmy Wayne: In all seriousness, I don’t think I can beat “assisted suicide assistant.”
19. Surprising announcement from Shania Twain: “My next album will feature collaborations with Dale Watson, Dem Franchize Boys, AC/DC, and The Lost Trailers.”
20. Couldn’t go pop with a mouth full of firecrackers: Ralph Stanley
21. That thing that always happens in the third verse of a touching song: someone usually dies, finds God, or instigates a riot against society in order to defend their pagan cult.
22. Warning sign that an album is going to suck: If one of the singles off said album has an intro that could’ve been taken from Kids Bop, has the lyrics “bad mamajama from down in Alabama” anywhere in the song, uses the word “it” or “shift” in connection with an explictive, or has a sing-a-long spelling out the words “Good” and “Time”…generally, if those are your singles…you can’t hope to take too much from the throwaway tracks on the album.
23. Number of Oak Ridge Boys you can name off the top of your head: 2 – Jack White and Meg White
24. On a scale of 1 to 10, your level of interest in knowing the names of the others: -100,583,142, 998.83245
1. Should never get a fragrance deal: Rascal Flatts (eau du douche)
2. Suggested nickname for Kristian Bush: The Guy w/ Jennifer
3. Words of wisdom for Miranda Lambert: Don’t ever listen the the record execs
4. Disastrous choice to play June Carter in stage adaptation of Walk the Line: Taylor Swift
5. Due for a big comeback: Wynonna
6. Something John Rich wouldn’t say: I just joined the Democratic Party!
7. Flash forward! Toby Keith in 2029: Playing little clubs and living in his Ford pickup
8. Next country singer to become lounge singer: Julienne Hough
9. Two singers with eerily similar voices: Jamey Johnson and Hank Williams Jr.
10. One word to describe Hank III: Crazy
11. Least impressive ’90s hat act: Bryan White
12. Someone you still need to see in concert: Loretta Lynn
13. Star whose fans will lynch you for mild criticism: Taylor Swift
14. Non-country song often covered by country artists: The Weight
15. Chuck Wicks’ pre-show ritual: watching Oprah and getting his nails done
16. Personality gets in way of music (not John Rich): Wynonna
17. Most annoying concert behavior (by audience): talking or shoving to get closer to stage
18. Alternative career for Jimmy Wayne: Chuck Wicks’ manicurist
19. Surprising announcement from Shania Twain: I’m going on tour with Ricky Skaggs
20. Couldn’t go pop with a mouth full of firecrackers: Randy Travis
21. That thing that always happens in the third verse of a touching song: Mama dies
22. Warning sign that an album is going to suck: if it’s made by a pop star trying to crossover (i.e., Jessica Simpson)
23. Number of Oak Ridge Boys you can name off the top of your head: 0
24. On a scale of 1 to 10, your level of interest in knowing the names of the others: 3