The Band Perry Adds William “The Fridge” Perry as Fourth Member

  

Here’s a Fake News submission from Ken Morton, Jr., of That Nashville Sound and The 9513. Thanks, Ken!
-cmw

Siblings Kimberly, Reid and Neil Perry – all members of country music sibling act The Band Perry – were giddy with excitement as they announced on Friday that they’ve added a fourth member to their ensemble. Following months of rumors and speculation, former Chicago Bears lineman William “The Refrigerator” Perry has joined the group.

“After a show one night, our band and crew ended up at a Waffle House in Illinois around midnight and we ran into William, who was in having a late-night snack,” said Reid. “We got talking and the synergy was there right from the start. That’s when we found out that he had a music background and was part of a smash single called ‘The Super Bowl Shuffle.'”

Added Neil, “Even though that was recorded before I was born, it was easy to see the fresh musical angle he was going to bring to the band right away.”

Kimberly summed it up perfectly when she said, “We’re going to be twice the band we were before.”

The addition will also have financial benefits. Frigidaire has already signed on as the official sponsor of the quartet’s upcoming Illinois tour. Frigidaire CEO Free Zerburn remarked, “As you can imagine, there aren’t many people that fit the refrigerator mold quite like William Perry. We’re thrilled to be part of his huge music comeback.”

There may be more lineup additions ahead. An unnamed source at Republic Nashville reveals the group is also in talks with former Major League Baseball pitcher Gaylord Perry, former Journey lead singer Steve Perry, former 90210 actor Luke Perry and Perry the Platypus from the hit kids show Phineas & Ferb to join the band.

Find more satirical articles in the Fake News archive… or send in your own!

Comments

  1. says

    I remember some of The Fridge’s touchdown celebrations. He had some pretty sweet dance moves. Look out Big Vinny, there’s another fat dancer in town.

  2. Rick says

    The coolest thing about this development is that the group has decided to re-shoot the music video for “If I Die Young” featuring William in Kimberly’s role! Sadly they’ve been having insurmountable problems shooting the canoe scenes thus far. Oh well…

    PS – Latest breaking news! Joe Perry of Aerosmith has also been invited to join The Band Perry for their upcoming tour. Negotiations are under way concerning Joe’s demands that Steven Tyler be allowed to wear a blonde wig and dress in drag for guest appearances at some of the gigs…

Trackbacks

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>