Martina McBride isn't actually an alcoholic, but why let the truth get in the way of a good laugh?

Country Haiku #393

Independence Day Combines two of my fave things: Fireworks and liquor … [Read more...]

Country Haiku #384

I'm a happy girl Come $3 mixed drink night Somewhere in Nashville … [Read more...]

Country Haiku #382

If you think I can't Outsmoke Messrs. Cheech and Chong You're wrong baby wrong … [Read more...]

Country Haiku #379

Love's the only house Big enough for all the wine I consume daily … [Read more...]

Collected Wisdom: The 100 Greatest Tweets of Drunken Martina

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Today, Country California salutes Drunken Martina, the First Lady of Boozy Misconduct and long-running Twitter/Facebook spin-off of a satirical series begun here in 2009. Sensing that social networks are a far too impermanent place to store some of the greatest bits of bite-sized wisdom of our time, we've taken the liberty of collecting our 100 favorite Drunken Martina tweets here for your enjoyment. If you get a kick out of them, be sure to follow Drunken Martina on Twitter or Facebook. Just … [Read more...]

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Martina McBride Being Investigated for Role in Point Shaving Operation

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Country music superstar Martina McBride is being sought in connection with a high school basketball point shaving operation. McBride's nephew Lawrence Perkins, who plays center for Brentwood High School, has already been questioned about his role in several gambling operations that focus on prep sports. It is alleged that Perkins has purposely allowed scores he easily could have blocked in important divisional games, keeping down point totals and allowing opponents to win games Brentwood was … [Read more...]

Martina McBride Suspected in Several Area Holdups

Superstar country singer Martina McBride is the unlikely suspect in several recent Nashville armed robberies. On Thursday, a Brentwood Texaco cashier reported that shortly after 9 PM, a very short-in-stature woman dressed in a black overcoat and a collectible miniature Predators hockey mask demanded all the cash from the register and 8 cans of watermelon Four Loko. The victim said he laughed until the assailant produced a semiautomatic pistol while screaming "Don't doubt me, Hassan, I know … [Read more...]