Songwriter to Forward God All Proceeds from Divinely-Inspired Song

One Nashville songwriter credits God as the inspiration for his latest hit – and is going to credit him with all the proceeds, too.

“Songs usually take hours or days to write, but this one just spilled out of my pen during a commercial break on ‘The Bachelorette.’ My mind went blank and I couldn’t write fast enough. I really feel like God was just using me as a vessel when it comes to ‘Summer Thang Da Dang Dang,'” said tunesmith Jerry Waters, speaking of the song that has become the breakthrough hit for country duo Fast Ryde.

“So obviously,” Waters added, “I won’t be accepting any of the money it generates to pay off my mortgage or mounting pile of student loans, even though this is the big break my family has been waiting for all along. Since God gave me all the words, I wouldn’t feel right doing anything other than giving all the money to him.”

Though Waters claims the song was a gift from on high, others are less sure. “You really think God would want to have his hand in a song with lyrics like ‘Fireworks go off like whizz crackle bang/Can’t get enough of that summer thang da dang dang?'” wondered fellow songwriter Tim Burke. “I think Jerry’s just claiming divine inspiration so that nobody can criticize the song – which, frankly, if you look at it, is actually kind of stupid. You know, maybe when a song comes too easily, that’s a red flag that it’s not a very good song – not a sign you’ve been Chosen.”

For his wife, Gina, Mr. Waters’ claim of divine inspiration has personal ramifications.

“Honestly, I was mad at Jerry when I found out that he was refusing to take any of the credit for the song, because we could really use the money right now,” said Mrs. Waters as a cockroack scuttled across the dirt floor of the family’s makeshift kitchen. “I didn’t marry him for the luxuries, but I wouldn’t turn them down.”

“Maybe this was our big chance, but hopefully there’ll be another one that Jerry writes himself, rather than getting it all from God. It would be so nice to have indoor plumbing.”

Find more satirical articles in the Fake News archive.

New posts, by email, whenever we’ve got ’em.


  1. Rick says

    I don’t know. I actually like this song much better than either Troy Olsen’s insipid “Summer Thing” or Fast Ryde’s earlier queasiness inducing single “That Thang”, what with the vocoder/auto tuning dealies going on. I think Jerry Waters has a bright future ahead of him as a Nashville songwriter whether divinely inspired or not! Jennifer Nettles could learn a thing or two from ole’ Jerry…

  2. says

    Personally, I think it sounds like Jerry Waters could learn a thing or two from Jennifer Nettles.

    I’ve gotten used to country radio having an annual obsession with summer songs, but I think they’re getting worse this year, and the creativity standard is lower than ever. When I hear songs like “Everybody Loves Summertime” (Mulch Brothers) and “Here Comes Summer” (LoCash Cowboys) I think “Surely you can do better than that.” Brad Paisley’s “Water” was pretty dull as well, but he’s popular enough to get away with it.

    I think “Redneck Yacht Club” was the golden standard for any artist wishing to attempt a good summer song.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *