Some Guy You’ve Never Heard of Makes Opry Debut

Some country singer you have never heard of, much less heard any music from, makes his Opry debut Friday night.

Hailing from a fond-memory-inducing podunk on the Kentucky horizon, the random male country performer reportedly grew up listening to the Opry on the radio. He also visited the Opry several times, and idolized quite a few artists who graced that stage. He also wears a cowboy hat and customized leather belts.

Whoever this guy is released his debut single in late December and has seen it rise steadily into the lower 30s on the charts. Tall, blue-eyed, and handsome, the unidentified singer is said to possess a vocal style reminiscent of that one guy with the tight jeans.

Nondescript vocalist guy is currently in the studio with an in-demand hit producer and the engineer of several forgettably popular recent releases. The tepid – but commercially viable – debut album, with a cover photo of the dude standing in front of a weathered brick wall, is expected to be released in early summer.

This person’s Opry debut will be on a bill with Mel Tillis and Montgomery Gentry as well as a high school glee club and a token bluegrass band.

At press time, a rumor was swirling that there may be a major announcement or invitation of some sort for this featureless, though quite fetching, country music singer when he takes the stage.

Reported by “Trailer” Parkman of Farce the Music. Find more satirical articles in the Fake News archive.

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Things People Are Saying

  1. Grizzly Adam says:

    I sure hope his album has a song about what life was like growing up in a small town.

  2. Steve says:

    Wow… Talk about taking shots at Dustin Lynch.. Just because most people only listen to terrestrial radio that plays the same 20 artists/songs over and over again does not mean that the artist does not deserve to appear at the Opry. Really resent you guys mocking his opry debut tonight. But hey he is just someone none of us has ever heard of.

    Steve Williams
    Country Fan
    Los Angeles, California

  3. Paul W Dennis says:

    I don’t think any artist in particular is being poked – you could write this same article monthly and have it be timely and accurate

  4. Trailer says:

    Yeah, I wasn’t picking on Dustin in particular. This was satirizing both the Opry’s endless parade of brand new artists who really haven’t proved themselves ready for such a stage yet… and the accompanying press releases that all sound the same.

  5. Ben says:

    The story may be fake, but the headline is probably very true.

    On another note, that debut album had better not have bleeding cowboy font on it.

  6. Petr says:

    You forgot to mention he calls himself an Outlaw!

  7. c k says:

    I like cowboys and angels but his other songs ive heard i dont like. I actually think this is one of the top songs of the year and think its on par with some of the great songs from the 90s hes probably one of the few commercial artists that should actually be allowed on the stage because he has actual vocal talents compared to a band like gloriana being up there.

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