Real news has taken precedence here of late, but Fake News ain’t dead. Here’s a contribution from old The 9513 pal and evil genius Sam Gazdziak. Thanks, Sam!
Nashville is reeling from the surprising discovery that legendary country music star Hank Williams Jr. was actually the second country singer in his family. As it turns out, Hank Jr.’s father recorded several country songs in the 1940s and ’50s. The news began spreading around Nashville after Jason Aldean did some research on Wikipedia over the weekend.
Aldean explained that after performing the song “Crazy Town” at a concert Friday night, someone came and asked him if the “Hank” referenced in the lyrics was meant to be Hank Williams Jr. or Hank Williams Sr.
“It just blew my mind, man,” Aldean said when contacted for comment. “I mean, I just figured Hank’s dad was a good ol’ boy, riding his big green tractor through the hicktown listening to Johnny Cash and loving Hank’s momma because she’s country. But to find out he sang country music too, that’s incredible.”
“Hey, did Hank Williams Jr. Sr. write any dirt road anthems?” he wondered aloud.
Justin Moore, a noted Hank Jr. enthusiast, also was shocked at the revelation.
“Wait, you’re telling me there was country music in the 1950s? Like when the Beatles were on the radio?” he asked. “I always thought country music was invented by Hank, Willie and Waylon – you know, the Outlaws!”
When asked to comment on the revelation, Hank Jr. seemed fairly perplexed.
“I’ve been singing Daddy’s songs and talking about him for as long as I can remember,” he said. “And not to brag, but Daddy is one of the most influential people in country music history. I can’t even imagine what kind of idiot could be in this business and not know any of his songs.”
“I’ve heard of Hank Sr. before, but I don’t know any of his songs,” Rascal Flatts frontman Gary LeVox admitted. “People have been telling me for years that our music makes him spin in his grave. I never understood why they kept talking about Hank Jr.’s dad like that, but I assume it means that our songs are so infectious that even dead people have to groove to them.”
Eric Church said he spent most of his weekend listening to Hank Williams songs, or at least the 90 second samples offered for free by iTunes.
“It’s pretty good stuff for its time, I guess,” reported Church. “But it’s nothing like today’s country music. ‘Jambalaya’ and ‘Hey Good Lookin’ are pretty good, but ‘Alone and Forsaken’? How are you ever going to get a crowd up on their feet and screaming with that depressing song? And I don’t think ‘Your Cheatin’ Heart’ could make it as the next theme song for Monday Night Football – I’m just saying.”
Rocker-turned-patriotic-country-balladeer Aaron Lewis noted that rock music has done a better job of honoring its legendary acts, and that the country music industry should take similar steps to make sure that forgotten singers like Williams Sr. get recognized.
“Someone should really think about coming up with a Hall of Fame for country music and include its pioneers,” he said. “People like Charlie Daniels, George Jones, Lee Greenwood, and Hank Jr.’s dad. I think there’s even some space in the Opry Mills mall next to the Rainforest Cafe where they could open it.”
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