Quotable Country – 12/22/09 Edition

Click the bullet after each quote to visit the original source.

No, sorry. Not just “not quite good,” and certainly not “sort of good.” This is just plain awful. I mean startlingly bad. This is out-of-the-way, cheap restaurant lounge singer, must-be-a-parody bad. Bad, bad, bad. Like Jacob Marley said to Ebenezer Scrooge: Save yourself. Even if it’s free. Just don’t go there. You’ll thank me.
- – Amazon customer review of Lee Greenwood’s “Joy to the World,” which can be downloaded for free as part of Amazon’s 25 Days of Christmas promotion. But please don’t consider that a recommendation.

Anybody can copy a picture, but it takes a real artist to paint one. He took the song and made it his, and I admire that in anybody. It is a great compliment for an artist to pay a songwriter, to say, ‘I like your song well enough to take it and make it mine.’ I think that’s what a real artist is.
- – Bill Anderson likes Ruben Studdard’s fresh take on “Christmas In Your Arms,” a Steve Wariner cowrite formerly recorded by Alabama.

MICHIGAN CITY – A local business had a brush with celebrity when popular country singer Wynonna Judd walked through the door unannounced Saturday afternoon.
Brenda Barton of Hot Sun in the City, 1807 Franklin St., said three employees were working when Judd arrived without an appointment for an afternoon tanning session. Nica Greene, who was in the salon, said Judd was dressed casually and came with a man and woman.
“I didn’t know who she was,” Greene said.
- – Offered without comment.

This time, according to TMZ, an Asian American group says while performing in Norway with rapper Will Smith, Toby “embarrassed himself and his country” when he stretched his eyes back while Will Smith rapped the word “yellow.” [...] Also weighing in on the matter, the Media Action Network for Asians, who say the singer “is telling his Asian fans ‘you don’t matter, you’re not on my radar.’”
- – Toby Keith, who evidently hasn’t heard that saying about biting the hand that feeds him, angers his enormous Asian following, the lifeblood of his career to this point.

I want to give more back. Before I die, I want to get rid of all my money.
- – Carrie Underwood and I have opposite problems. I want to make enough money to die.

I always wanted to tell the story of Merle Haggard who’s probably the poet laureate of country music and for whatever reason I couldn’t tell it because he had a lot of ex-wives and the rights issues were an issue. So, I recalled the novel and I felt like, “Wow, I can tell Merle’s life story; I can tell Waylon Jennings and Kris Kristopherson’s [sic] all at once and [do] it through this character.”
- – Crazy Heart director Scott Cooper.

I just thought it was a good time for me to leave. We parted ways with our record label. It was about 12 wonderful years at that label, and I just thought it was a great way to go out … gracefully. It was just time to do new things for me — go record music that I had been wanting to record — and also continuing where my roots are in country music.
- – Richie McDonald’s definition of graceful exit includes “Mr. Mom” and “Mountains,” while “music I had been wanting to record” includes “How Do I Just Stop” and “Six-Foot Teddy Bear.”

I am so honored and so excited. This was so unexpected, and I could not be more grateful.
- – Taylor Swift on being named The Associated Press’ entertainer of the year. I’ll bet this award did come unexpectedly to Swift, because who knew the Associated Press even had an entertainer of the year?

Nowadays, guitar players play everything they know. You hardly even recognize the melody. A lot of people do that, and it bugs me. Chet used to laugh and say, ‘They’re getting paid by the note.’ He would play the melody. The second go-around, he’d embellish it a little bit. Then he’d freestyle later. It was just brilliant. So what I learned, more than anything, was to play the melody and how to build a song. It’s all about taste.
- – Steve Wariner on lessons learned from mentor Chet Atkins.

A recent study has shown that Shania Twain is pretty. But not just pretty pretty. But pretty in a very official and scientifically quantifiable way. The researchers at the University of Toronto have worked out the dimensions of the most attractive female face, like the distance between your eyes, mouth and ears — and Shania Twain fits the bill.
- – Uh, is that the University of Toronto that’s mere hours away from Shania’s birthplace? Surprising, particularly since the researchers “admit their findings [cannot] be applied to other groups” since the “study looked only at white women” (source)… named Shania in Ontario, presumably.

Amazing – to astonish, astound, overwhelm with wonder
Carrie Underwood always ‘astonishes’ and ‘astounds’ me whenever she releases new music. I’m always ‘overwhelmed with wonder’ in realizing she keeps getting better and better as time goes by. Therefore, Carrie Underwood is by far AMAZING, and she does it so well.
- – Carrie fans unleash the crazy on Jim Malec’s “Temporary Home” review.

Oddly enough, they ran straight to the bathroom — in Room 418 at the Holiday Inn Express in Kennesaw, Ga., where Craig performed Nov. 20. The boys’ room became a makeshift vocal booth, and he put together a new take on the song, reciting the names of Santa’s reindeer and changing the “hold up your cup” line in the chorus to “hold up your eggnog.”
Producer Phil O’Donnell and engineer Mitch Malloy went back to Nashville and overdubbed some new backing vocals, percussion and jingle bells, and the seasonal version of “Bonfire” was on its way to radio stations within four days. You can get it through iTunes beginning Dec. 21.
- – Craig Morgan’s holiday version of “Bonfire” is straight out of the crapper, literally. This trend of releasing hokey holiday versions of dumb non-seasonal singles must end.

Could smack you sometimes—but that is only sometimes.
- – Loving the honesty in these reader surveys so far. Keep ‘em coming, please.

This Jason Michael Carroll headshot makes me laugh.

I’m taking next week off of Quotable – it’s slim pickings between Christmas and New Years – so this is the final 2009 edition. It’ll be back and better than ever much the same in the new year.


  1. Mike K says

    So that’s what it was that helped Shania sell all of those records: perfectly spaced eyes, nose and ears.

    Wouldn’t have been my first guess…

    Happy Holidays, CM.

  2. Rick says

    Its too bad those snivelly Asian American leftist twit groups weren’t around when Steve Earle sang “Everybody told me you can’t get far on thirty seven dollars and a Jap guitar”. It might have caused them to suffer “Obamavoter seizures”…

    Wow, Craig Morgan’s output these days also tends to make me head for the bathroom, kind of like when you eat potato salad that’s been warm for too long…

    I think JMC looks better without the chin whiskers. Also, that picture appears to have been processed to give it a 3-D look which still looks a bit strange at this point because we aren’t used to them yet.

    Well there is that gal who keeps posting on The 9513 that hopes Carrie will donate some of her money towards restoring the old movie theater in Carrie’s home town of Checotah, OK! That might be a nice place to start. Speaking of Carrie, my favorite quote of the week comes from Alison Bonaguro in her recent CMT blog about Carrie’s engagement:
    “They’ve been hopelessly in love for years. Country music and professional hockey. And now it’s official: They are going to tie the knot. Not the entire industries per se, but a couple of their biggest players.” All I can say in response is “Alison, WTF!” (lol) I mean I get the NASCAR connections, but hockey? Come on…

    Merry Christmas, CM, and as Tiger Woods might say “Ho, Ho, Ho”…

  3. says

    I’m wouldn’t usually defend Toby Keith or what I call his asshole bravado, but I think people are getting a little too worked up over a hand gesture, that was clearly meant to be a joke. I don’t see what the big deal is. Asians do have slanty eyes – it’s genetics. The world is just way too full of crybabies who have nothing better to do with their time these days IMO. [/end rant]

    Happy holidays to all you Country California readers … this is my last day online before I take off too. Enjoy!


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