Country California

Country music. Seriously.

Quotable Country – 12/14/09 Edition

Click the bullet after each quote to visit the original source.

Their single, “Rockin’ the Beer Gut,” has sold more than 200,000 copies. It’s that time of the season, so they’ve retooled the lyrics for a track titled “Rockin’ the Beer Gut (Holla Day Version)” that details Santa’s struggles with his weight. There’s a “go, Santa” refrain that Butter, Big Vinny and Crystal bite into.
- – Because one version of “Rockin’ the Beer Gut” just wasn’t enough.

But now these Fathead folks are breaking into the music business, and they are launching that endeavor with Kid Rock. All 6′4″ of him. Now that is my kind of wall art… I hope that by next Christmas, Fathead has a full line of stickers with life-size likenesses of even more country singers. (emphasis added)
- – Sorry, I must have missed something. Who was the first country singer in the line?

I just thought it was a fun song. I think it’s a great song. I think it’s funny. I’m sick of the same old songs–sick of hearing about our economy and talking about how bad life is. I thought it was time to throw something out there really different. Of course, we had a lot of people that were kind of offended by it. But I think they’re idiots.
- – Phil Vassar pulls no punches in defending “Bobbi With an I.”

Bucky Covington (of American Idol fame) dropped into country music’s legendary honky tonk, Tootsie’s Orchid Lounge on Monday night (Dec. 7), where he jumped on stage with Tootsie’s regular performer, Scott Collier, to sing a few cover songs for the unsuspecting crowd.
- – From a PR email. Indications that Covington’s career isn’t going as planned: still being referred to as “of American Idol fame” three years into his country career, still making karaoke appearances.

Well, he thought he’d cheat on her and she’d stand by her man
She knocked out his window with his three iron in her hand
He got up and down in a skins game with a cheap Jezebel
And that’s why she beat Tiger all to hell
- – From Cledus T. Judd’s “Tiger by the Tail (The Tale of Tiger Woods).”

After I released “Jesus, Take the Wheel,” people started saying, Oh, it’s kind of risky. You’re coming out with a religious song. And I was thinking, Really? I grew up in Oklahoma, I always had a close relationship with God. I never thought it was risky in the least. If anything, I thought it was the safest thing I could do.
- – I’m with Carrie on this one. “Jesus Take the Wheel” was nothing if not safe.

I kind of like her. I have [listened to her music]; I was listening to some the other day. And I think I like her.
- – Clint Eastwood on Taylor Swift. Good thing he can say whatever he wants.

Jay DeMarcus, Gary LeVox and Joe Don Rooney will play themselves but it won’t air until early next year. But we do know the episode is called Unshockable. Get it? Like their Unstoppable album and tour? Anyway, one of them will be the victim and the other two suspects. Any guesses as to what kind of crime the country trio could be involved in? Could Jay and Joe Don be accused of trying to dethrone Gary as the frontman by poisoning his drinks with a throat-burning concoction?
- – Okay, the crime is passing bad pop-rock off as country and the throat-burning concoction… wait, I think that might have already happened. It would explain a lot about LeVox’s voice.

When he re-recorded it, someone convinced him to put Big & Rich on the track, and that still didn’t mess it up, it’s just that good.
- – Eleven Hundred Springs’ Steve Berg on Billy Joe Shaver’s “Live Forever.”

Music now is about ‘How long will people buy this?’ and ‘How much can we sell before it’s over?’ and ‘What does she look like?’ and ‘Can she wear that a little lower?’ That doesn’t impact me at all, and it’s not my quest. I just want to express myself musically and have fun while I’m doing it. When that happens, it’s magic. And it’s got to be felt magic, not contrived magic.
- – Delbert McClinton, in a profile by Peter Cooper.

On my last record I tried to just sing, but this time I want to do everything.
- – Wait until you hear Julianne Hough’s steel playing…

Like mini-bobby pins, I wanted to invent [them] and I found out they were already invented. My heart was broken. And I wanted to invent clear foil for the people that are lower-income to put on their windows, so you wouldn’t see the foil on their windows. But I don’t think that would really work.
- – Miranda Lambert is a doll, but she has no future in inventions.

At the moment Keith’s career requires him to be based in Nashville, because there isn’t a huge career for him in terms of country music in Australia.
- – Nicole Kidman makes Urban’s Nashville career sound surprisingly impermanent.

I really don’t think that it differs that much. Some of those songs that we recorded, like ‘My Front Porch Looking In,’ ‘I’m Already There,’ ‘Amazed,’ ‘Mr. Mom,’ — that’s still the stuff that I want to do. You know, I want to make people laugh. I want to make them cry.
- – Richie McDonald is still all about the sippy cups and Maytag dryers.

It took a long time for me to realize that that rasp was a positive and not a negative.
- – Heidi Newfield on learning to appreciate her own voice.

Coming off American Idol I immediately signed with Disney, and they wanted to release a country record. I told them, ‘I’ve got a message I want to share with people.’ I was able to put John Waller songs on my record, and I was able to share my faith with people, and I think it got to a point where most of the people around me were like, ‘Phil, you’re a Christian artist, this is your heart.’
- – Don’t blame Phil Stacey for inflicting himself on the country world. It was Disney’s idea.

“I went to see Zac Brown a few months ago and as I suspected, he reminds me of what I was doing 25 years ago,” Jimmy said. “You know, I didn’t invent the Jimmy Buffett sound. I listened to Harry Belafonte and others like him back when I was starting out.” After a pause, Jimmy looked [at] Zac and said, “The torch gets passed on, so here’s the torch, man!”
- – Kenny Chesney must be pissed.

Now we do a chili-dog night on Christmas Eve, which kind of presents a whole other set of problems. Glade air freshener in the stockings. Let’s just say the tree is dead by Christmas [day].
- – Luke Bryan and family have some powerful flatulence.

I usually eat a lot of potato chips in the studio. Because of the grease. When I’m singing, it helps me sing better for some reason, so we’ll get some salty chips in there. I heard that trick from Celine Dion — she does that. I think that’s why I always gain 15 pounds when I’m recording an album!
- – Much like Charles Kelley, I sing best with my mouth full of potato chips.

I texted my accountant and said ‘Hey — I found what I’m going to get.’ She didn’t text me back, so I just went and bought it. Well, while I’m going to buy it, I leave my phone [at home]. She freaked out! I got back, and there were all these text messages from her … ‘Oh my gosh, did you buy a Porsche? What are you buying? Call me!’ She was getting all nervous. I called her and she [asked], ‘What did you get?’ I told her I got a washing machine. Now all my buddies make fun of me — they’re like, ‘You got a washing machine? Really?!’
- – Chris Young splurges sensibly with his “Gettin’ You Home” earnings.

That’s some good country music right there. Hell yeah.
- – Covering “Help Me Make It Through the Night” in concert brings out the badass in Martina McBride.

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  1. Kenny Chesney, sinking into his armchair and staring off into nothing:

    “… Ten years of trying to be Jimmy… so much wasted time… so much hair loss…”

    Mr. Buffett had better watch his back. This kind of stuff is how super-villains are born.

  2. Luke Bryan: Ewwwwww…

    Love the “Kenny Chesney must be pissed” blurb after the Zac Brown/Jimmy Buffett story.

  3. The cheesey animated music video for “Rockin’ the Cheer Gut” is actually well worth viewing just to see the static “Redneck Dad” next to Santa while his kid is waiting in line. Fortunately it happens early in the video:

    So Dirty Harry “kinda” likes Taylor Swift’s music huh? Maybe he can make a movie titled “Play Fifteen For Me” where a crazed ‘tween fangirl stalks Clint’s DJ character after he professes on air he prefers Carrie Underwood…

    I wonder if Heidi Newfield ever had the same mixed feelings about her ample bosom? Probably not…..

    Wow, so Jimmy Buffet’s turn towards calypso music was all due to Harry Belafonte’s “Day-O (The Banana Boat Song”! In a similar turn of events Barack Obama’s political ambitions were launched when he watched the Woody Allen film “Bananas” as a child and decided he wanted to rule a country just like that! (lol)

    If Martina really wants to be bad ass, I’d recommend Jerry Jeff Walker’s “Pissin’ In The Wind”…

  4. The only reason why it said (of American Idol fame) is because this was reported to many non-country blogs and the COUNTRY blogs didn’t have to put that. Stop putting down Bucky Covington, your starting to look pathetic always doing so.

  5. If Bucky’s career was going strong, he wouldn’t have to be referred to as that guy from the TV show 3 years ago just so people can guess why they should care about some dude named Bucky who showed up at karaoke night. Do non-COUNTRY bloggers know about Carrie Underwood? Is she still referred to as “of American Idol fame”? Of course not. Stop crushing on Bucky Covington, you’re starting to look pathetic.

  6. Good catch on the Richie McDonald quote … I read that in the physical paper last week and it convinced me that, even though I love Kouts (I live in Valparaiso), there is no way I’m supporting their fire department by having to sit through a show from him. I just wasn’t expecting the eagle-eyes at this site to find that quote (I was sort of hoping the Post-Tribune would … omit(?) to post that article online).

  7. Kid Rock ain’t 6′4″. just sayin…

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