Quotable Country – 08/09/09 Edition

Click the bullet after each quote to visit the original source.

Next time he’s on the bus, I’m sure he’ll iron something for me. He loves the iron. I’ve never known a guy to love his iron as much as Chuck.
- – Julianne Hough on future househusband Chuck Wicks.

We’ve been out playing a lot of the festivals, headlining a lot of the festivals. It’s going great. This year, I kind of got to see first hand what a difference one huge song will make for you. ‘She’s Country’ obviously changed a lot of things for us and pretty much, I think, doubled our crowd size in just a few months time.
- – Ugh, how discouraging.

I’m sure people just laughed. I was not as talented as Taylor Swift when I was 15, 16. I could write a decent song, but I couldn’t sing that well at that age.
- – Holly Williams gives Taylor Swift props for her singing abilities. Hopefully she’s just being nice.

I had about five Ricky Skaggs albums when I was about 15 or 16. Highways and Heartaches had just come out around that time, so I was playing that one repeatedly. [...]
I was in the band for about a week. They asked me to join and I said, ‘Well, I’ve never done that, I’ll give that a try.’ So, I’m playing in this heavy metal band and every time a solo came around, I’d bust out these Ricky Skaggs solos. And I got fired! It’s the only thing I’ve ever been fired from.
- – Keith Urban is the Ricky Skaggs of heavy metal and the Bon Jovi of country.

When you say the word ‘country’ now, it’s changed a lot. Now maybe you think of the Dixie Chicks, even Taylor Swift, but for a long while it was Dolly Parton and John Denver. When I look back at the music I grew up on, in the late ’70s, early ’80s, it was always contemporary, and that was Ronnie Milsap, Merle Haggard, Glen Campbell. And I don’t think there was a cowboy hat in sight.
- – Urban again. You do hear all that Haggard influence in his music, don’t you?

It’s going as well as can be expected with a sick guy like me and a short-tempered killer like her.
- – Blake Shelton on life with Miranda Lambert.

I’ve written these songs before about adaptin’ to modern civilization, and sometimes I still don’t fit in very well, but this song evolved from that, and I just started singin’ that chorus and there it was. You know, ‘I still like bologna on white bread now and then,’ ’cause it just sounded like the perfect way to say that I’m aware of all the modern technology and do adapt to some of it, and the health – better eating and diet policies – but every now and then, I still like that bologna on white bread.
- – The lyrics to “I Still Like Bologna” came easy for Alan Jackson? Never would have guessed.

There’re enough sunshine and lollipop songs out there, don’t you think (laughs)? Somebody’s gotta pick up the slack on the other end.
- – Chris Knight (not the Brady Bunch guy) on his penchant for recording dark songs.

Since early 1957 I’ve successfully avoided popular music, especially rock and the ever more vulgar and demented monstrosities of each succeeding decade. So I know next to nothing about Michael Jackson. Brief glimpses of him on television as well as his feminine voice made me reflexively recoil. He was disturbingly unnatural.
- – This guy thinks Hank Williams deserves some of the press Michael Jackson has been getting lately. But he might be a little biased, given that he apparently hasn’t paid attention to any popular music since around the time Williams died. There’s something to be said for checking in on pop culture at least once every 20 years or so…

“[Kenny Chesney's] music touches everybody,” says Tamara Segrest, a nail tech who has joined Katy Sue and Katherine for the day. Her favorite Chesney song? She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy. Segrest, 47, shrugs her shoulders: “I was raised on a farm.”
- – I’m afraid that’s not an adequate explanation for poor taste, Mrs. Segrest.

Halfway into the show, he told the crowd, using the twang to full effect, that it was time to “do some back-porch music for all y’all now,” and proceeded to take a seat at a grand piano that moments [earlier] had descended on wires to the stage. Who doesn’t think of a magical floating baby grand piano, instead of a plain-old guitar or banjo or mandolin, as the essential instrument of a mountain-music back-porch jam?
- – I wonder if Rascal Flatts’ Jay Demarcus also has a string section on his back porch.

People are crazy
You sure got that right, old man
Sign the will or else
- – The true story of the Billy Currington hit finally revealed by Country Haiku.

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  1. So, apparently Keith Urban thinks gripes about country’s periodic pop leanings started about 1999, if I read that right. In the words of Bugs Bunny, “What a maroon.”

  2. Dan says:

    Keith Urban is pissing me off lately. I do think he has country influences in there somewhere, but he has to know how far removed his recent music is from them. So I don’t know why he’s gotten so defensive about that recently.

  3. Sam Sattler says:

    I have accidentally seen Keith Urban on television three or four times and I have the same reaction every time:

    Why doesn’t somebody nail his damn feet to the floor?

    His jumping around and posing like some guitar god really drives me nuts. I pray that he stays far, far from real country music. We don’t need him and, in fact, I find his presence embarrassing.

  4. Steve Harvey says:

    I think we should all chip in some cash and hopefully, we will raise enough to get an album made of these country haikus, with William Shatner reading them to some funky bongo accompaniment.

    • C.M. Wilcox says:

      Ha. Our most direct route to Shatner is through Brad Paisley, so we might have to make room for all sorts of superfluous guitar solos on the album as well. We could probably get Jason Alexander in on it too… maybe he knows how to play the bongos.

  5. Oh, and I do wonder…do those “real journalists” who make the big bucks at the “legitimate media outlets” like the Cincinnati Enquirer do ANY sort of research anymore? For one, Alan Jackson didn’t even write “Gone Country,” and for two, I remember in the liner notes to his first greatest hits cd he was quoted as saying he saw the song as a fun song celebrating country music’s widespread acceptance, or something to that effect. Fact-checking and research — it’s not just for bloggers…

    • C.M. Wilcox says:

      I’m not sure that most real journalists are even making the big bucks; that might be part of the problem. Not much incentive to do a better job in an industry that appears to be dying anyway.

      By the way, Pistolero sometimes expounds on the comments he leaves here on his own blog, usually in pretty entertaining fashion, so some of you may want to click through his name to check that out. He also posted a Strait concert recap today.

  6. that might be part of the problem
    Heh. you could be right. By the way, thanks for the link and the compliment. I don’t know if I’ll ever get to y’all’s level of entertaining, but it’s certainly something to aspire to. :-)

  7. Dr. No says:

    Hopefully one day, that grand piano will snap from the wires.


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