Quotable Country – 01/10/10 Edition

Click the bullet after each quote to visit the original source.

I know this one girl
Like American honey
She was made by bees
– – Country Haiku on Lady Antebellum’s new single.

I’ve had to sleep inside the past several nights because of these single digit temperatures. That wasn’t my plan, but sometimes Mother Nature wins.
– – Jimmy Wayne. The difference is that if you’re actually homeless and Mother Nature wins, you’re dead rather than put up in a hotel for the night.

I love cheese! I could eat just blocks of it. . . Velveeta Shells & Cheese, I love cheddar cheese, I love wine and cheese. It’ll be the death of me. That and Krispy Kreme. Krispy Kreme’ll be the death of me. Every time that hot sign is on, buddy I’m pullin’ right through that drive-thru. They know me down there. They’re like, ‘Oh, it’s Pickler again. She’s comin’ back for more.’
– – Kellie Pickler dances with danger.

We’ve tried to make perfect records for so long that we’ve overdubbed the heart and soul out of something. We want to have a clean slate when we put something out. That’s what I love about Songs My Dad Loved. There’s hickeys in it.
– – Ricky Skaggs likes music with hickeys. Hmm, okay.

Country music sensation Kenny Chesney recently purchased a new, lavish home in Nashville at a whopping $9.2 million according to new reports.
Although Kenny’s home base is in the Virgin Islands, the 41-year-old singer needed a place to stay in Tennessee, Radar Online reports.
– – 11,000 square feet and seven bathrooms isn’t a crash pad: it’s an airport terminal.

It’s no secret that we’ve always tried to push the envelope. We wanted to be us. Our music does push the envelope of what traditionalists consider country music, and that’s totally cool. You can’t be like other people. You have to make your own niche. It feels really great to be where we’re at, and we know that comes with a price.
– – Joe Don Rooney tries to make being in Rascal Flatts sound noble, as though their problem is boldly flouting country conventions rather than having all-around atrocious musical sensibilities. In other words, the ‘country’ question wouldn’t be such a sticking point if the alternative they were peddling didn’t make people’s ears bleed.

I think it was back-to-back days where we played on a bill with the Doors — and the next day, we played on a bill with Jack Benny. But we were playing with Bill Cosby one day, and the next day, it was Aerosmith, and the next day it was ZZ Top, and the next day it was with the Earl Scruggs Revue. We’ve pretty much done everything twice.
– – Jeff Hanna on life with the NGDB.

I used to love to watch Johnny Cash. He didn’t have the greatest voice in the world, technically, but he was such an entertainer. He had such a magnetism that just watching him move or turn his head a certain way was entertaining to me. His stories were so believable. He was sort of like John Wayne. Plus, I always loved when the Carters were singing with him.
– – Dolly on Johnny.

“I looked at my son and that mountain and said, ‘That’s God.’”  That night on stage, she told the story to the audience and afterwards, Rader suggested they put that moment and feeling to song, which contains such lyrics as: “Have you ever heard a song that reached inside your soul/It says what you can’t say, let’s you know you’re not alone/You find the inspiration to keep on holding on/That’s God.” (via email)
– – From a press release about Jo Dee Messina’s next single, “That’s God.” Sounds like…

I can sum up all the negative arguments about this song the same way Jesus would. John 3:3. “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God”.
– – Commenter on “There Is a God” single review at The 9513. Note that he (a) leaves no room for the very real possibility that someone might dislike the song on non-religious grounds and (b) claims to know what Jesus would say about a conversation concerning a silly song on a country music blog. If you say so, hoss.

Swift was only 18 when she first released “Fifteen” in 2008. By the time Parton turned 18 in 1964, she had released a bunch of bubblegum-rock singles that gave little indication that she would evolve into one of the greatest, countriest singer-songwriters of all time—thanks in large part to the mentorship of Porter Wagoner.
Swift is already further along than Parton or Cash were at the same age and seems to possess many of the same qualities. But she’s at a crucial transition period where the guidance of a Porter Wagoner, a Johnny Cash or the like could make all the difference. She needs to tap into the subsoil of country-music history or else she will easily be toppled by the changing winds and trends of pop. And that would be a shame.
– – Geoffrey Himes has one of the smartest takes on Swift I’ve encountered.

Catch my act while I can still move my fingers fast and control my vocal vibrato! Get your fix while I’m 46!
– – Robbie Fulks proves his own best pitchman.

Musically, Black Ribbons (Black Country Rock/Rocket Science Ventures) is a mind-blowing opus that completely obliterates genre distinctions. On this unprecedented work, twanging dobros coexist with Nintendo chipsets; brutally assaultive passages alternate with moments of unabashed tenderness, and surreal Floydian soundscapes float above smoking slabs of whiskey-soaked southern soul. It’s an electrifying thrill ride across a dense, dark and gloriously decadent musical landscape. (via email)
– – Whoever’s writing Shooter Jennings’ press releases needs to lay off the ‘shrooms.

I met a rich gal
Who wore these tight fitting jeans
I totally scored
– – Country Haiku paraphrases Conway Twitty.

Genetics are not exactly on my side. Once I got out of high school I packed on about 10 pounds, and once I was on American Idol I packed on another 10 pounds. I carry all my stress weight, all my potato chip weight, around my mid-section. You’ve got to fight genetics sometimes.
– – As if it’s not enough that Carrie Underwood has to put up with naysayers and fembot quips, she also has to contend with a genetic legacy that threatens to add as much as 20 pounds to her frame, bringing her to… oh, about average proportions. Poor girl.

I don’t know why I had that reputation for fighting. Just did. Just did. Course it mighta helped I didn’t lose many fights. Mighta helped. But I didn’t fight that much. Cain’t now. I guess that’s what they made guns for, though.
– – Billy Joe Shaver (jokingly) in No Depression #32, April-March 2001. Six years before this 2007 incident.

Elvis made it OK for all of us to wear capes. I’ll wear a cape in a Waffle House. I don’t care.
– – Marty Stuart.

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  1. says

    I have seen Marty Stuart in a cape. It was black wool and lined in silk purple satin, entirely suitable for a minor superhero, but a little sedate by Presleyian standards.

    I can’t remember if I saw him at Kroger or Target–definitely not Waffle House.

  2. Jesus of Nazareth says

    That Lee Ann Womack song stinks. Godd**m candy-ass pious schlock-fest. That’s two weeks in purgatory for you now, Womack.

  3. says

    Lest there be any confusion, I’m pretty sure the above comment isn’t from the real Jesus.

    That’s funny, Jen. I envy your ability to spot famous musicians wearing capes in everyday settings. It doesn’t happen much out this way. Good on Marty for being cool enough to pull it off.

  4. Rick says

    I totally disagree with Geoffrey Himes comment about Taylor Swift: “She needs to tap into the subsoil of country-music history or else she will easily be toppled by the changing winds and trends of pop. And that would be a shame.” The more I think about that comment the more my mind is filled with a screaming WTF!!! Mainstream country music is moving further away from traditional country styles every day to a pop-rock format except for rare “new artist” exceptions like Jamey Johnson on occasion. Taylor is dragging Top 40 country further into the Pop realm as that’s where her fans are based and if she went “more country” her Disney Channel fan base might lose interest! While Geoffrey sees Taylor losing momentum being a bad thing if she disappeared tomorrow from the country music field I would be relieved (and maybe a bit giddy). I prefer Chet Flippo’s fairy tale version where Taylor retired at age 20 while at the peak of her career and disappeared….

    You mean other people besides me labeled Carrie a”fembot”? Hmm… It sounds like Carrie’s nickname in the future may be “The Muffin Top Fembot”! On the other hand she could market her own Abs/Thighmaster type exercise device via infomercials and sing on the workout DVD! Suzanne Sommers look out! (lol)

    For you young-uns “hickey’s” were what we called pimples and blemishes back before the word “zit” came along to replace it. Therefore just substitute “zit” for “hickey” in Ricky Skaggs’ comment and the awkward sexual connotation thankfully disappears…


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