Oddball Songwriter Pens Song By Himself
The Nashville songwriting community is reeling after the arrival of a peculiar man with a bold new approach to songwriting that does not involve conferences, coffee shop chats, or slumber parties. In fact, Stan Hill claims that he writes best when left to quiet self-reflection. Word around town is that he’s up to something, though nobody knows what it is just yet.
Hill first came to the attention of the community when he auditioned for one of the Sunday Writers’ Nights at the famous Bluebird Cafe. After performing a verse and chorus of an original song titled “On the Tram to Alabam” for the panel, he was complimented on the song and asked who had helped him write it. When he claimed to have written it without the aid of any other tunesmiths, he got laughed off the stage. The incident quickly became something of a running joke among members of the town’s well-connected songwriting community.
After weeks of seeing Hill walking around town by himself, apparently deep in thought, many came to believe his story. Around the same time, patrons of several downtown bars reported watching him take a table by himself, remove a blank sheet of paper from his bag, and fill the sheet with lyrics without ever conversing with other customers or communicating through any sort of concealed earpiece.
“You mean he has to, like, start his own thoughts and complete them?” marveled popular committee tunesmith Aimee Mayo. “I don’t even see how that’s possib…” Mayo stopped to receive a text message on her phone. “Sorry, that was Kellie. We’re writing a new song together while she’s out on tour. I can’t say too much yet, but it’s about keeping a positive attitude in the face of adversity. Anyway, what was I saying again?”
Mayo remains skeptical of the solo approach: “I had this great idea about a red umbrella one time, but I knew that it was such a brilliant thought that I wouldn’t be able to manage it on my own. Without the help of my three cowriters, that song never would have come to fruition. And where would the world be then? My point is that there’s only so much you can do by yourself. All the best songs are written by committee these days.”
When it was mentioned that Merle Haggard, Loretta Lynn, and Kris Kristofferson penned most of their famous songs by themselves, Mayo flashed a baffled expression and resumed texting with Kellie.
Prefer email? Nothing wrong with that!
Hey, is that even legal in that town? I hope no Nashville union thugs show up with a baseball bat to talk some sense into Mr. Hill.
Obviously your fakest news yet.
Skeptical, satirical – and downright funny! You’ve done it again, CM!
‘your fakest news yet’ … ha.
I’ve said this before, but you are really breaking new ground with your brand of country music satire. Never before has there been a publication that focused squarely on country music’s foibles. You’re an innovator.
Last year some lady named Jennifer won some award for writing some song called “Stay” by herself- I WAS SHOCKED!!!
Nice articles, always fun to read.
This is awesome!
Now this is just plain awesome!
Thanks for all the comments, guys!
Hahaha!
I agree with J.R., although you know paying you compliments isn’t really my style or anything. But yeah; I think this actually a very sharp piece of commentary in addition to being funny as usual.
well I woke up one morning with absolutely nothing to say
so I wrote it all down and got a guitar to play
came up with a tune been a hit three times before
kind of took it as a sign I was writing me a number 4
then my dog started barking in the middle of the second verse
so I cut him in for half, buddy, I have heard worse
he kind of sat there picking and grinning in between his knees
said he could feel it in his bone, we was barking up a number 3
then about an hour later, I played her for a publisher man
and he was patting my booty all the while he was shaking my hand
had to give him third writer when he changed one ‘lonely’ to ‘blue’
but what the hell, cordell, we were smelling like a number 2
then the singers lined up, cause the word was getting around
every tom, dick and kenny, there was just too many to count
we had to turn ‘em all around and pick out the best pair of buns
and I guess we got a good eye, cause he wiggled up to number 1
wrote me a hit
powerful shit
heart and soul
it ain’t got a bit
it’s so damn bad
it’s gonna make me rich
son of a bitch
wrote me a hit
now I’m rolling in dough, riding around in style
new car, new clothes, new hair, new nose, new smile
and beyonce got a tongue in my ear, and she just won’t stop
you know what, rover? we’re crossing over to pop
wrote me a hit
powerful shit
heart and soul
it ain’t got a bit
it’s so damn bad
it’s gonna make me rich
son of a bitch
wrote me a hit
copyright 2009 tony laiolo