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Martina McBride Won’t Stop Cracking Dead Baby Jokes

martina-mcbrideCMT’s Katie Cook was recently forced to cut short her interview with amiable country hitmaker Martina McBride when the singer showed up drunk and would not stop cracking wildly inappropriate dead baby jokes.

The interview got off to an unusual start when McBride refused to answer Cook’s first question, instead insisting on inverting the familiar interview format by asking Cook questions of her own. When a startled Cook had no adequate response to McBride’s first query – “Why did the baby cross the road?” – McBride delightedly supplied the answer herself: “It was stapled to the chicken!” McBride then stuck her clenched fist in Cook’s direction and demanded that she “pound it” to express her approval, apparently an ironic gesture intended to poke fun at fraternity jocks.

When Cook tried to regain control of the interview by asking about the music video for “I Just Call You Mine,” Martina frowned, apparently irked at the interruption. Without any warning, she launched into her next question, this one inexplicably delivered in falsetto: “How many babies does it take to paint a house?” Taken aback as much by the falsetto as she was by the question, Cook shrugged. With great relish, McBride delivered the punchline: “Depends how hard you throw them!” McBride then requested that Cook join her for a “high five, low five, on the side,” culminating in a “pound it.”

In a rare moment of discomposure near the end of the interview, the usually unflappable Cook commented: “That’s just really inappropriate, Martina, and I am appalled at your behavior here today.”

“You know what else is inappropriate?” asked Martina, a wicked gleam in her eye.

“What’s that?” responded Cook, hoping the interview was back on track.

Martina cackled: “A dead baby.”

It’s unclear when or if the interview will air on CMT. McBride’s behavior has become increasingly erratic ever since she started hanging out with crowds of goth kids around Nashville in an apparent effort to rekindle her youth.

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15 Comments

  1. You know I love your work, but I’m not gonna lie. This one’s going over my head. Must be referencing something I haven’t heard about.:)

  2. I think its poking fun at this all-black phase Martina is going through recently. Dead baby jokes were what all the “emo” people were telling a couple years ago when I was in high school in an attempt to be shocking and “disturbed”. When actually it was a bunch of dumb high school sophomores being…high school sophomores. Most hilarious part of senior year…That, and the people who said they converted to Wicca. One girl even claimed she was a witch.
    Has she ever given a reason for all the black anyway? Does she secretly have an endorsement deal with Hot Topic to model their new “Moomy’s an Emo” line? The official slogan could be “the family that cuts together, stays together”

  3. Oh wow, that just made my day, thank you!

  4. You’re just asking for another “attack of the half-braindead Martina supporters.” Don’t say I didn’t warn you…

    • The only thing i’m offended by is your post. The article is funny. Believe me Martina wouldn’t take it to heart she has a great sense of humor.

      I don’t think her wearing black has any sort of hiden meaning, black is relativly a flattering shade to wear.

  5. Hey! I’m a half-braindead Martina supporter, and I feel offended by the tone of your post.

  6. Jokes aside, I loved this edition. The “Martina covers Danzig” was even funnier, though!

  7. i honestly dont believe u as martina wouldnt do that, show me the proff and i will believe u until then, stop makin pathetic lies

  8. I don’t know anything about Martina McBride, but I do know horseshit when I smell it and this story reeks of horseshit.

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