Lonestar Says Age Just a Number
Pop-country group Lonestar says age is just a number.
The band, which experienced career highs with songs such as “Amazed” and “I’m Already There” around the turn of the millennium, has since parted ways with lead singer Richie McDonald and hired young Cody Collins as his replacement. They will release their first full album with the new lineup next month.
“Some people have asked how it was for me, coming in as the new voice of this existing act,” said Collins, plopping his boyish frame into a beanbag chair. “It was sort of scary, joining a band that my Dad used to listen to before I was even born. I didn’t want to mess it up; I wanted to build on what they had done with Richie.”
“There was definitely a learning curve, especially in terms of living with these guys on the bus,” he added. “Things like acquiring an appreciation for Wheel of Fortune, going to bed every night at 8pm sharp, figuring out how to work prunes into every meal. It’s a different way of life, for sure… [Drummer Keech Rainwater] taught me how to whittle the other day. But they’re great guys and our chemistry onstage has been just amazing.”
“Of course, Corey is such a talented young man that our fans took to him immediately,” said guitarist Michael Britt, patting Collins on the head avuncularly. “The age difference has really been a non-issue.”
“We feel like we have an energy and a… youthful vigor… that was missing with Richie. We feel like the sky’s the limit now. Look out, Rascal Flatts!” wheezed keyboard player Dean Sams, whose six facelifts have given him the appearance of a cross between Gary LeVox and Joan Rivers. “It’s just nice not to be the kid in the band anymore.”
“Now if you’ll excuse us,” interrupted Collins, signaling the end of our interview, “it’s time to give Keech his bath.”
Concept by Farce the Music. Find more satirical articles in the Fake News archive.
