Country California

Country music. Seriously.

Kellie Pickler Says “Get a Load of These!”

kellie picklerCountry bombshell Kellie Pickler recently posed with two plaques commemorating the gold certification of singles “Best Days of Your Life” and “Red High Heels.” Gripping one plaque in each hand and holding them just below shoulder level, Pickler smiled for cameras, inviting gathered photographers and reporters to “Get a load of these babies!”

“Wow, I didn’t realize they would be so heavy. A girl like me isn’t made to carry this much weight up here,” laughed Pickler as her petite frame began to buckle under the considerable heft of the plaques. “You get the shot yet, boys? Aren’t these things magnificent?”

Being in possession of such fine prizes should greatly augment Pickler’s prospects in the country music business, where new female singers have a harder time breaking through than their male counterparts. “Just having one gold single is a big deal, so having a couple big ones like this should really get people’s attention. It’s a different feeling when you walk into a room: heads turn a little bit more, you know. I feel like I’m about to bust out, career-wise.”

“These are pretty nice, but Dolly’s could fill a room,” Pickler joked nervously, referring to the number of awards accrued by her idol over a storied 40+ year career in country music. “I can only hope to have that sort of longevity and… ow, my back hurts,” cried Pickler, dropping the plaques and bringing the photo op to an abrupt end.

Concept by Farce the Music

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5 Comments

  1. Ahahahahahaha.

  2. I can’t believe you’ve stooped so low as to resort to boob humor! Such itty bitty thinking deserves to get knockered around and removed from our collective mammaries! How you could push-up and elevate such low brow humor is beyond me! You guys deserved to be busted, and big time! (lol)

    If big boobs were the path to country music stardom for attractive young women, then Lauren Lucas would be a superstar by now!

  3. I can’t believe you! You’re just jealous! Do you have a rack full of awards to put on your walls? All you jug heads need to get a grip! Show a little respect for Kellie and Dolly Parton(s)! Go pet some puppies or something. She’s a star! She gets to travel around all the time just for fun! Bags, shoes, designer clothes; she’s gets all the perks too! Kellie career is doing great without being doctored up, or having studio bolt on an auto tuner to make her sound good! She doesn’t have to serve beer cans to buds at hooters anymore! She’s got her double barrel bazookas blazing through country music!

  4. This is some REALLY fake news. The comments are awesome.

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