Keith Urban’s Cheap Tickets Not All They’re Cracked Up to Be
Earlier this year, country superstar Keith Urban announced plans to offer some concert tickets for the recession-friendly price of $20. With premium tickets often going for upwards of a hundred dollars, the pledge to provide a more affordable alternative for cash-strapped country fans was met with praise and excitement.
Well, it turns out that the low price is only half of the story. Some concertgoers to Urban’s “Escape Together” tour have contacted us with surprising news about those cheap tickets.
Louis Reynolds of Philadelphia shared the fine print on his $20 (+ $29.95 Ticketmaster handling fees) behind-a-column seat ticket for an upcoming show: “Just below the rain check information, there’s a single sentence that says ‘Barring physical handicap, holder/purchaser of ticket agrees to one hour of garbage pick-up services upon completion of the concert event.’ I’m thinking of selling my ticket; that’s just nasty!”
Keith Urban’s management didn’t return our call, but an anonymous source on his road crew said it was true and that it’s a necessary and helpful way to cut costs: “We punch your ticket to a killer rock, errr, country concert, you help slice overhead and help out the environment… sounds fair to me.”
Late last night, Urban fan Lucy Singleton in Cleveland called directly from post-show cleanup duty to confirm Reynolds’ report. “Yeah, it’s true… it was an awesome show, from what I could tell from the nosebleed section, but I just got somebody’s used nacho cheese on my $35 Sweet Thing t-shirt. I’m pissed!” She added: “I can’t tell you how much lingerie I’ve picked up… who the hell throws a bra from the 56th row?”
Our informant also claimed to have seen opening act Jason Aldean filling a trash bag. “He was working for an upgrade from a closet to an actual dressing room at the next stop,” said Singleton.
Reported by “Trailer” Parkman of Farce the Music
Prefer email? Nothing wrong with that!
Sounds fair to me.
Another hilarious fake news story! I love your site!!! :)
Thanks, Karen! We get a kick out of writing this stuff.
And I get a kick out of reading it!!
Trailer forgot to mention the available “Concession Stand Worker” option! By agreeing to work in one of the venue’s food and beverage concession stands during the shows, the lucky but broke Keith Urban fan can listen via crappy PA speakers in the ceiling and maybe even sneak some free food as well! There have been reported fistfights among those who have chosen this option over the limited number of aisle roving beer and peanut seller positions as they might actually get to see and hear the concert. More news as it becomes available…
Hey, Trailer, how can I get a hold of you? I have a Fake News idea.
Trailer’s contact info is available on his site, or if you want to email it to me (cmw at countrycalifornia.com) I’ll make sure he sees it.
Hammer, you might want to check the CMT.com blog first as Alison Bonaguro has likely beat you to the punch (line)…(lol)
Bwuh?