Julianne Hough and Chuck Wicks: “We’re Pregnant!”

Sweethearts Julianne Hough and Chuck Wicks were booted off of Dancing with the Stars just in time, as a surprising development in their personal lives will require their full attention. The couple has announced that they are pregnant.

“Obviously, this is a really exciting and unusual time for us. I think we’re ready for this next step in our relationship, but it was still very surprising when the news came through. We never thought it would happen quite like this. It’s more than we ever could have dreamed,” said Julianne.

Chuck nodded in agreement: “What she said.”

The couple’s obstetrician, Dr. James H. Baskin, remarked: “There have been many rumors, but now I can officially confirm that Julianne and Chuck are indeed pregnant. I’ve never seen anything like it, a boyfriend and girlfriend both at the same time. Their due dates are identical.”

Hough and Wicks have reportedly already purchased matching sweatsuits and begun a routine of daily walks to stay healthy during their pregnancies. They are currently trying to decide which birthing classes to attend together several months from now when they enter their third trimesters. “You can never be too prepared,” smiled Chuck as he massaged cocoa butter into his stomach, which will bulge slightly before growing to a perfectly-rounded, infant-sized bump over the next nine months.

He added: “My mom says the toughest part of the pregnancy is the cramps and the ravenous appetite, but I don’t know. I heard that you’re not supposed to tan. Can you believe that? So lame.”

In an effort to maintain their squeaky-clean public image, the couple will embark on a talk show tour to explain that the dual pregnancies are the result of an accidental tumble during dance rehearsals rather than any sort of intentional premarital sex. They will visit the set of Oprah on Monday.

Concept by Farce the Music. Find more satirical articles in the Fake News archive.

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