Josh Turner Turns Water Into Pabst

josh-turnerIn what can only be described as a miracle, baritone-voiced country crooner Josh Turner did more than sing love songs at the recent Franks-Haddington wedding party. Though happy with his ice-cold Coke, the singer took action when he heard other wedding reception guests complaining about the sparse beverage selection.

There were six large water dispensers on one of the tables and a few sodas, but no alcohol and the crowd was getting anxious. As some of the bridesmaids giggled, Turner laid his hands on the water containers for a few awkward moments before pronouncing: “Get the bride’s dad a mug of this.”

Expecting spring water, James Franks nearly choked when the substance that touched his tongue was none other than pure, sweet Pabst Blue Ribbon beer. “It’s a miracle!” he exclaimed as the excited throng lined up behind the six taps, cheering loudly. Although Turner did not partake of the redneck nectar of the gods and stared accusingly at those who did, he was certainly the hero of the day. “I don’t know how he did it or if it was just some parlor trick, but I’d follow that guy anywhere,” said reception guest Phillip James.

Since that storied day, members of Turner’s band have discontinued their quibbling about Josh’s strict personal behavior policies and begun looking to him as more of a leader than a fellow music professional.

Reported by “Trailer” Parkman of Farce the Music


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Comments

  1. Rick says:

    If this wedding had been held in the Rocky Mountains, would the water have become “Colorado Kool-Aid” instead? Hmm…

    Somehow I get an inkling that T. Graham Brown may be inspired to write a song when he hears of this “miracle”!

  2. Kelly says:

    “Get the bride’s dad a mug of this.” – awesome.

  3. Kim says:

    Are those rumors about him being really strict about personal behavior with his band/road crew true? Like the one about him firing someone for their choice of video game? I know he’s a great upstanding guy and all, but I really don’t want to believe that he’s a holier than thou type. Trailer even had a faked set of tour bus rules on Farce about it.

    • Trailer says:

      I just take the snippets and rumors I’ve been privy to and run with them – we hold to no standard of journalistic integrity within the realm of fake news :). I think he’s probably a good guy too, but maybe just a tad overbearing from what I gather. Some of those rules I made up were only slightly exaggerated.

      • Kim says:

        Well yeah, of course this all in good fun. But some people who are not in it for fun say he has a pretty bad holier-than-thou attitude. Just hoping that’s not true, but looks like maybe not.

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