John Rich Just Says ‘No’ to Reality Shows

John Rich will not simply accept any reality show offer that comes his way in order to artificially extend his fifteen minutes of fame, declares John Rich in a new, self-produced True Life: I Am John Rich special unsuccessfully shopped to MTV.

“There’s a perception – and I don’t know where it comes from – that I’m such an attention whore that I’ll immediately sign on for any stupid, slapdash reality show that promises to plaster my face on a few more billboards,” says Rich in one clip, wearing a fur coat as he leans back in an armchair with a cigar in hand. The entertainer and self-styled music mogul has enjoyed zero Top Ten singles and prominent roles in CMT’s “Gone Country,” NBC’s “Nashville Star”, NBC’s “The Celebrity Apprentice,” and The CW’s “The Next: Fame Is at Your Doorstep” since 2007.

“Right now, I feel like it’s important for me to be out on the road, putting all my energy and creative mojo into supporting Hillbilly Jedi,” the Muzik Mafia founder continues, referring to a new album rumored to have been released recently, the existence of which is of little consequence to anyone but himself.

Rich is expected to reconsider when he gets a call from Honey Boo Boo’s people later today.

Concept by Farce the Music. Find more satirical articles in the Fake News archive.

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