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In Lieu of American Saturday Night, Brad Paisley to Release Piccolo Album

bradpaisleyBrad Paisley’s sixth regular album, American Saturday Night, was slated to hit store shelves in June. However, poor critical reception of lead single “Then” has led Arista Nashville to reconsider Paisley’s direction on the new album. At the urging of the label, Paisley and producer Frank Rogers are scrapping the whole thing and heading back into the studio.

Rogers explained: “Apparently, some bloggers at The 9513 and Country Universe did not care for the new single. It was pretty much the best thing on the album, so we decided we should go back into the studio and try harder. Thank God for bloggers! Beholden to nobody, they are mavericks unafraid to speak truth to authority. Us folks in the music business just love them to death, even when they do act all high and mighty from their dingy one-bedroom apartments. Bastards.”

As Paisley and Rogers return to the drawing board, Arista Nashville will put out a piccolo album to tide fans over until the singer’s next full-fledged release. Recorded at an after-hours session during the recording of his 2008 guitar album, the new instrumental album sprang from Paisley’s discovery of a piccolo in a forgotten drawer. Although he had never before attempted to play the popular wind instrument, tape rolled as he tried to teach himself. The best of those attempts will appear on Blow: The Piccolo Album, due May 26.

Rogers was careful to rein in expectations: “This instrumental album is obviously going to be a little more raw than Brad’s usual work, but people will see that he shows a lot of promise as a piccolo player. He doesn’t have all the notes right, but he blows fast and he blows hard, which is half the battle. And this is just the beginning. As time goes on, people are going to see that Brad is truly one of the greatest multi-instrumentalists of our time. Or at least that he attempts to play many different instruments with varying degrees of success.”

Contacted for comment, renowned flautist James Galway said that he has not heard the piccolo album, but is familiar with some of Paisley’s recent singles and doesn’t doubt that he can blow as hard as anyone.

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10 Comments

  1. sarcasm + self-deprication + piccolo = funny

    Blow as hard as anyone, really funny.

  2. You’ve outdone yourself this time. Awesome.

  3. I think this is the best piece of fake news yet!! So hillarious!

    You know, I don’t know about you, but I’ve gotten kinda used to my dingy, one room apartment by now.

  4. I’ve got to say, when I first read this I laughed loudly enough to wake up my sleeping Lab. Great job, as always, CM.

  5. You’re an idiot.

  6. Okay I just realized this was a joke..for a minute there I was like wow how ridiculous is this..!!

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