Hank Williams Sr. Inducted Into Rascal Flatts

  

Rascal FlattsReinstate Hank, the movement to have Hank Williams Sr. added to the cast of the Grand Ole Opry despite his probable difficulties in honoring future performance commitments there, has found an unlikely ally in pop-country group Rascal Flatts.

“With our own induction, we’ve been thinking a lot about the Opry and its history lately,” explains Flatts bassist Jay DeMarcus. “A lot of people want to see Hank added as a member. Since we’re members now, if Hank joins our group, he also becomes a member of the Opry. It’s the perfect solution. As fans, we feel it’s the least we can do.”

Appearing on CNN’s Piers Morgan Tonight, Hank Jr. had harsh words for the Flatts’ addition, likening it to “Pol Pot joining an amateur women’s table tennis league.” The remark was met with widespread confusion and derision, with Washington Post writer Dylan Jensen calling Bocephus “not very good at analogies.”

The addition of the senior Williams to the Rascal Flatts lineup is more than symbolic. A discarded notebook full of the legendary country singer’s lyrical fragments and takeout orders will serve as the basis of the band’s next album, tentatively titled Ride With Hank. “We’ve contracted some of Music Row’s finest to flesh out the lyrics and set them to fresh melodies,” reveals DeMarcus, naming Neil Thrasher (“Bob That Head”) and Kara DioGuardi (“Undo It”) as two members of the committee entrusted with that task.

The project’s lead single is expected to be “Feelin’ Your Lovin’” (Thrasher/LeVox/Williams), adapted from a Hank fragment titled “Lonesome Beggar’s Last Lament.”

Find more satirical articles in the Fake News archive.

Comments

  1. Woogeroo says

    HAHAHAHAHA.

    damn, ya’ll are on a roll here lately.

    “The remark was met with widespread confusion and derision, with Washington Post writer Dylan Jensen calling Bocephus “not very good at analogies.”

    I damn near choked from laughing so hard…

    Hail Bocephus! What a show a few weeks back!

    -W

Trackbacks

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>