Reinstate Hank, the movement to have Hank Williams Sr. added to the cast of the Grand Ole Opry despite his probable difficulties in honoring future performance commitments there, has found an unlikely ally in pop-country group Rascal Flatts.
“With our own induction, we’ve been thinking a lot about the Opry and its history lately,” explains Flatts bassist Jay DeMarcus. “A lot of people want to see Hank added as a member. Since we’re members now, if Hank joins our group, he also becomes a member of the Opry. It’s the perfect solution. As fans, we feel it’s the least we can do.”
Appearing on CNN’s Piers Morgan Tonight, Hank Jr. had harsh words for the Flatts’ addition, likening it to “Pol Pot joining an amateur women’s table tennis league.” The remark was met with widespread confusion and derision, with Washington Post writer Dylan Jensen calling Bocephus “not very good at analogies.”
The addition of the senior Williams to the Rascal Flatts lineup is more than symbolic. A discarded notebook full of the legendary country singer’s lyrical fragments and takeout orders will serve as the basis of the band’s next album, tentatively titled Ride With Hank. “We’ve contracted some of Music Row’s finest to flesh out the lyrics and set them to fresh melodies,” reveals DeMarcus, naming Neil Thrasher (“Bob That Head”) and Kara DioGuardi (“Undo It”) as two members of the committee entrusted with that task.
The project’s lead single is expected to be “Feelin’ Your Lovin’” (Thrasher/LeVox/Williams), adapted from a Hank fragment titled “Lonesome Beggar’s Last Lament.”
Find more satirical articles in the Fake News archive.
Country Haiku #424
Prime Cuts: April 2012
A freelance writer and humorist with an abiding love of country music, C.M. Wilcox's cutting, clear-eyed take on the genre has drawn the attention of Country Weekly, The Washington Post, and The Tennessean in the years since this site began. He lives near Sacramento and can be reached by email at CMW (at) countrycalifornia.com.
It seems that Mr. Hank Williams Jr. has nothing good to say about any one or any thing. What is his problem???
LOL! OMG! And I’m not talking about the Wilcox article.
The Pol Pot analogy was hilarious. Excellent work.
I should clarify: the article was awesome but the comments took the cake.
This was perfect. I love how many people you’ve managed to make fun of in such a short article. It just kept getting better and better.
HAHAHAHAHA.
damn, ya’ll are on a roll here lately.
“The remark was met with widespread confusion and derision, with Washington Post writer Dylan Jensen calling Bocephus “not very good at analogies.”
I damn near choked from laughing so hard…
Hail Bocephus! What a show a few weeks back!
-W