During singer John Rich’s run on NBC’s Celebrity Apprentice, several Nashville area friends of John Rich have begun voicing their concerns as to his well-being. His mental state, morality and general health have been called into question due to his “potentially reputation-ruining” appearance on the popular show.
“I’m really worried about him,” said his pint-sized buddy Two-Foot Fred. “He’s just not himself since he got on that show…. where’s the Cowboy Stevie Wonder we all know and uh, fear?”
Rich’s markedly changed attitude, demeanor, sobriety and humor on the show have been red flags to friends and associates. “Man, the JR I know would have smashed a bottle of barbecue sauce over (Gary) Busey’s head for calling him a ‘boy!'” said singer Sebastian Bach. “Who is this guy and what the f**k has he done with John??”
Rich’s duo partner Big Kenny is at a loss himself. “I know he’s married and all, but there’s a Playboy Playmate of the Year there and John hasn’t exposed himself once or texted dirty limericks or anything? Are you sure?” wondered Mr. Alphin.
In fact, as of press time, the producers of Celebrity Apprentice have reported no physical assaults, sexual harassment claims, ill-mannered rants (other than show-appropriate ones) or incidents of drunken and disorderly behavior from Mr. Rich.
Obviously distressed, Bach is considering an intervention once the television show wraps. “He’s killing his rep man… and mine! Look, I’m getting his wife and kid out of Richmore and bringing in a truck full of beer and a stable of strippers once he’s out… something’s got to be done, this is just unacceptable.”
He ended with this emotional plea: “John, come back to us buddy… before it’s too late.”