Fake News Gets the Scoop on Keith Urban’s Stultifying New Single
Though he just sent the obligatory third single (which obligatorily features a performance video) from Defying Gravity to radio this past week, Fake News has received exclusive information about the first single from Keith Urban’s forthcoming moderately anticipated seventh album. The mid-tempo pop-country anthem entitled “This Is a Pretty Good Song,” cowritten by Urban and a songwriter whose name you’d recognize, showcases Keith’s excellent, but getting less interesting, guitar skills and his renewed sense of purpose in the fading genre while simultaneously sounding like every song he’s released before.
“I’m actually somewhat excited about the song,” Urban’s manager read from an index card during C.M.’s short interview with him. “It is a soundly crafted, proficiently played tune that fits squarely into the standard expectations of the people who will listen to it again and again.” He continued: “We feel that it will sell somewhere in the range of 178,000 digital copies, raise average awareness of Keith’s new CD above the ‘fairly interested’ level, and most importantly, not cause radio listeners to change the station.” Tucking the index card back into his pocket, he concluded: “We are nearly thrilled.”
The song is gathering quite a semblance of a buzz in the industry. In fact, some country disc jockeys who received early preview discs of the potboiler track jumped the gun, pretending to be breathless with staged anticipation as they played the yet-to-be-released surefire chart-topper. Some even reported listeners phoning in to request “that new song I think was by Keith Urban, maybe, that sounded pretty okay.”
Urban’s as-yet-untitled seventh album is due for release in March of 2010. A summer tour featuring opening act Pretty Up-and-Coming Female Performer Who Can Sing Harmony will follow.
Reported by “Trailer” Parkman of Farce the Music
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Great as always, CM! This could almost be real!
Thanks, but this one’s all Trailer.
Wow, more borderline faux excitement regarding new ersatz rockin’ country from Keith Urban! The muted anticipation is slightly killing me! This is nearly awesome!
“Pretty Up-and-Coming Female Performer Who Can Sing Harmony”
This stuff is just so spot-on, I can’t help but laugh out loud. Excellent. This blog and FTM are my daily doses of sanity. How’s that for irony?
I called this one five years ago. What, am I the only one who noticed that “Who Wouldn’t Wanna Be Me” and “Somebody Like You” are the same song with some words mixed up?
It is a real shame when critics believe it is absolutely necessary to slam a really talented performer. Keith Urban’s guitar skills are amazing and continue to be as well as his music. His fans love his music, and if people, including critics would really listen, they would realize how much of his music is timeless, music you will listen to over and over and not tire of. So much of country is pointless, and just almost silly. Jokes put to music or commentaries on the world we live in. These type of songs become tiresome or just down right offensive very quickly. Funny a time or two and then just irritating. Why can a really talented person not be appreciated for his gift!!!
A couple of short, very funny, ‘graphs that pretty much sum up the entire Nashville music business…
TenPoundHammer hit the nail right on the head…you could play one of Keith’s “hits” on the radio and call it by the name of another one and nobody would know the difference. I liked him better when he was playing guitar for Garth Brooks and never had to hear any of this crap.