Late night talk show host David Letterman has high praise for the McDonald’s Quarter Pounder with Cheese. During a recent taping of his show, Letterman excitedly offered his opinion that the tasty but fattening fast food burger – which features two ground beef patties, cheddar cheese, pickle, onions, mustard and ketchup – is surely one of the finest food products ever created.
“This burger is absolute perfection,” glowed Dave, patting his protruding belly as he watched Late Show staffers distribute free burgers to members of his studio audience. “It will change your life.” As the audience dug into their greasy cow sandwiches, Letterman continued: “I’m thinking of getting a tattoo of a quarter pounder with cheese on my butt.”
Sweat began to pour down his face as he got into the meat of his speech. “If I were Burger King or Wendy’s, I’d just give up now. You cannot seriously hope to compete with this little fraction of a pound patty of heat-lamped heaven – dear baby Jesus, my new hero is that redheaded genius, Ronald McDonald.”
Letterman has also recently proclaimed the virtues of Chevy Malibus, Billy Currington’s “People Are Crazy,” People magazine, Facebook quizzes and Bud Light.
Reported by “Trailer” Parkman of Farce the Music