Country Legends Posthumously Endorse John Rich

  

Dozens of deceased country legends have come forward to voice their support of John Rich and his current single, “Country Done Come to Town,” reports John Rich.

Rich, who was once taken to task by Rosanne Cash for pledging her father’s support for the presidential campaign of John McCain – without consulting the elder Cash (then already deceased) or his family on the matter – says this time is different. “I’ve got a handwritten letter from Johnny Cash saying that he thinks ‘Country Done Come to Town’ is badass,” claims the Muzik Mafia impresario. “I believe the exact word he used was ‘cracka-lackin’, so you know he meant it. Johnny didn’t use ghetto slang lightly.”

The letter, provided at our request, reveals the aging country legend’s handwriting to be much like John Rich’s own.

“They say handwriting says a lot about your personality, and me and ol’ Johnny were two peas in a pod,” says Rich of the nearly identical script. “In fact, I am – and I think Waylon Jennings and Ray Charles would back me up on this – the closest thing to the Man in Black happening today. The torch has been passed, so to speak, and I’m proud to carry it.”

Other legendary artists reportedly on board with “Country Done Come to Town” include Eddy Arnold, Tammy Wynette, Porter Wagoner, Hank Thompson, Patsy Montana, Vern Gosdin, Ernest Tubb, Townes Van Zandt, Blaze Foley, Skeeter Davis, Hank Williams, and Ludwig van Beethoven. “The positive feedback from all these heroes of mine has been really gratifying,” says Rich, “particularly given the reluctance of any living musicians to speak out in favor of this song. It’s just really nice to know that someone has your back.”

The posthumous celebrity endorsements seem to be helping. By barely managing to crack the Country Top 40, “Country Done Come to Town” has already become John Rich’s second biggest solo hit to date.

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Comments

  1. Nicole says

    Lololololol Beethoven.

    Is the next fake news article going to be “Unknown, Irrelevant Artist Plagiarizes ‘Twilight’ In New Song”? I think it should be….

  2. Angel says

    what on earth is this guy putting into his crown and coke?? Wonder if all the people he’s endorsed over the years are realizing why they never won. Its a hella long list of dead people that seem to like JR’s music, maybe because the dead can’t hear LOL

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