Country California

Summer’s here and the women of country music are coming out in full force, curves and all! Julianne Hough, Leann Rimes, Faith Hill, and Martina McBride have all recently appeared in their swimsuits on the cover of the popular women’s fitness magazine Shape.

The photos of Hill and McBride, ages 41 and 42 respectively, excited particular comment among middle-aged women, who were inspired to think that they too could look fabulous if only they had personal trainers, large expendable incomes, and expert airbrushers on staff.

Never one to be outdone by women a fraction of her age, spunky Loretta Lynn (who turned 74 this past April) recently inked a deal to appear bikini-clad on the cover of AARP Magazine, the monthly publication of the American Association of Retired Persons. The magazine’s editor hopes the cover will be an inspiration to older people everywhere.

“Loretta Lynn is a force of nature and an emblem of graceful aging,” said editor Nancy Perry Graham. “We think there will be something very empowering about seeing her in all her humanity. By which I mean, in her skivvies. Real women have curves, yes, but they also have wrinkles, sagging pockets of flesh, a ghostly pale skin tone, and multiple markings of unknown origin. That’s something our readers understand all too well, and so does Loretta.”

“It’s easy to look hot when you’re in your early 40s. Shoot, you’re practically still a kid at that age. See me in another thirty years, girls,” Lynn joked after the shoot as she slipped out of her hot pink string bikini and into one of her trademark enormous pastel dresses with the help of two assistants.

Although the new issue of the magazine is just now reaching subscribers, the cover is already turning heads. Peter Tamacelli, a longtime AARP member, squinted hard at the magazine as he pulled it out of his mailbox. “I thought it was Angelina Jolie on the cover at first,” said Tamacelli. “Then later when I found my glasses I discovered that it was Loretta. Boy, she still looks pretty good. I think it was pretty brave of her to do it. By the way, do you know if they have any plans to put Angelina Jolie on the cover soon?”

Meanwhile, country legend Little Jimmy Dickens applauded Loretta’s courage, saying: “This is the biggest news for us old-timers since Stonewall Jackson took to the pages of Playgirl to help publicize his age discrimination suit against the Opry. Woo-wee, you remember that? At least Loretta kept some of her clothes on.”