Chris Cagle Now Granting Unrequested Autographs
Country singer Chris Cagle was spotted forcibly distributing autographs in front of a Murfreesboro Cracker Barrel on Tuesday. Cagle first tried casually approaching people near the front entrance, introducing himself and asking if they might like an autograph. As word spread that the singer was in the area, the steady flow of customers slowed to a trickle. Peeking around the corner of the building, Cagle noticed that everyone had inexplicably begun using a side entrance. He decided to try a different approach, concealing himself behind a nearby shrub and springing out at customers with an uncapped Sharpie in hand. He had already managed to sign countless t-shirts, dozens of foreheads, and two babies by the time authorities responded to the numerous complaints phoned in by restaurant patrons. The signing session won Cagle few new fans, but one new assault charge when he tackled and pummeled a local schoolteacher who had slyly eluded multiple autograph attempts.
Concept by Farce the Music
At least he’s trying a different approach now …
Marvelous as always!
But I wouldn’t be the one to tell Chris people are avoiding him. Imagine the sceniero:
Manager: Apparently, Chris, they want you to sing no love songs.
Chris: “No Love Songs”? Yeah, I’ll sing that!
Manager: No Chris, they want you to sing no love songs. None whatsoever.
Chris: Why not? You know my loves gone on and on and on and on and –
Mangager (cuts in): And they’re avoiding you, your fans have gone.
Chris: What kinda gone are we talking about here?
Manager: The vanishing kind! Wherever they, thery’re anywhere but here.
Chris: Where? The wal-mart parking lot? You’re wrong; they love me! They’re never ever gone!
They think my songs are great – especially the ballads – the chicks dig it! And I’ve got to sing – what else can I do?
Manager: Well Chris, just breathe in and breathe out, put one foot in front of the other …