Challenge: Compliments for Brantley Gilbert

Brantley GilbertPeople a lot more business-minded than me will tell you that the one thing you don’t want to do is challenge your audience. Marketing wisdom says: Find a niche that works for you, then stay in it. Play nice with everybody all the time and don’t say anything that might limit your appeal. Keep paragraphs short and easily scannable, since nobody has time to read blocks of text in the age of the internet.

Come to think of it, this is the same basic approach that defines (and defiles) much of modern country radio.

Contrarian I am, I think intelligent people need and want to be challenged. And those who shy away from challenge should at least be provoked for the sake of entertainment because, otherwise, what good are they to the rest of us?

So, I’ve got a whopper of a challenge for you all today: I’d like for you to come up with at least one compliment for country-rock poseur Brantley Gilbert. Because I don’t actually want your head to explode, the compliment can be of the backhanded variety. But it can’t be an outright insult, because that’s cheating.

If you’re not sure what a Brantley Gilbert is or need to be inspired, here’s some ammunition:

… yikes. All right, let’s hear ‘em.

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Things People Are Saying

  1. Andrew says:

    Errrr…ummmmm… he helped write Dirt Road Anthem, which ended up being a huge hit for Jason Aldean?

  2. Ben says:

    He is in good physical shape (as seen in the shirtless promo photos).

    Good enough?

  3. diane says:

    Saving Amy is so good, he needd to make it into s movie!

  4. Dianna says:

    sounds like Bon Jovi

  5. Aikou says:

    You can tell he definitely practiced the guitar.

    Now if you excuse me I need to cure my ears with some Terri Clark and Robert Downey.

  6. Trainwreck92 says:

    Brantley Gilbert is a true musician. The kind of person whose songs can inspire a nation. In my mind, he’s the Bob Dylan of this generation. Plus,OMG hes like soooo fine!!!

  7. Trailer says:

    He helps keep America’s wallet-chain industry going strong.

  8. AlanDP says:

    Sticking it on the hood of a wrecked car? I bet Johnny Cash never did that!

  9. AlanDP says:

    But seriously, people call this country music? This is just 80s glam rock without the hair (but still with the make-up, I’m pretty sure).

  10. Hoggy from Oz says:

    He has never toured Australia because he’s so outlaw that he’d offend us and the legacy of our own outlaw, folk-heroes:)

  11. Danny says:

    I think the best move he made is switching his name around for performance purposes. Because who would believe that Gilbert Brantley was any kind of outlaw. Plus, he looks like he could totally ride that motorcycle.

  12. ohbuffalo says:

    He throws a good punch at his boyfriends face when he tries to cheat with girls and the one shirt he owns is always clean.

  13. Beaumont says:

    He’s done a great job of barely existing until the last year or so.

    Also, he’s got very average sized feet.

  14. Lisa says:

    He managed to get the word “Critter” into this song too! I just love that word!

  15. Seriously I do enjoy the acoustic guitar work at the start of “Country Must Be Country Wide”–strip out the electric guitars and the vocals and it’s actually good to listen to.

  16. His facial hair appears to be authentic.

  17. Ben Milam says:

    every time i hear his music, i feel smarter. it’s almost like the drive by truckers without all that talent and smart lyricism.

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