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2011 CMA Awards Predictions

C.M. Wilcox — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 19:42:21 +0000

When it comes to making CMA Awards predictions, we have an unfair advantage: we can stick our neck out there in ways other sites can’t because we don’t actually care if we’re right or wrong. Call it the competitive advantage of irreverence.

To see how many of our CMA Awards predictions come true, follow along as our friends at Engine 145 and Country Universe live blog the show tonight.

During the “Footloose” opening, Blake Shelton and Kenny Loggins forgo professional back-up dancers, personally reenacting one of Ren and Ariel’s dance sequences from the film. Blake Shelton’s moonwalk wins him the lead role in next year’s “Dirty Dancing” remake.
In accepting her Entertainer of the Year trophy, Taylor Swift takes a moment to burn Bob Lefsetz in effigy. In his email newsletter the next day, Lefsetz somehow spins this anecdote into a plug for Spotify.
As the Female Vocalist winner makes her way to the stage, also-ran Martina McBride stabs her in the kneecap with a shiv before peeling out of arena on a flame-red Segway.
David Kersh pulls up to the red carpet in his Opel Kadett, letting the motor run as he waits for someone to recognize him. After several minutes, his car rattles sadly away.
In one of the bigger surprises of the night, Music Video of the Year goes to “Jalapeños” by the Bellamy Brothers. Faith Hill is seen crying “WHAT!?” despite not having a video among those nominated.
Camera suddenly cuts to audience during Aldean acceptance speech, catching Brantley Gilbert unawares. He quickly tightens his jaw and puffs out his chest, attempting to look tough.
Scotty McCreery malfunctions; curtains close swiftly as smoke billows from his ears.
Rodney Atkins, who is currently Occupying Wall Street, is unable to attend.
After several reports of a yeti in the restroom, security enters to find James Otto washing his hands.
Brad Paisley makes toothless quip about Hank Williams Jr., pats self on back for edginess.
Coming off of vocal rest for one song, Keith Urban sounds exactly like Kristin Chenoweth.
Eager to replicate the viral magic of her last awards show appearance, Shania Twain takes the stage on 14-inch heels with a mean case of vertigo.

2009 CMA Awards Live Blog: Pacific Edition

C.M. Wilcox — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 03:09:17 +0000

Also known as “the grand experiment,” it’s a potluck-style live blog in which the host himself will not actually be watching the show. Yep, pretty much a trainwreck waiting to happen.

That was the original description, but what began as a not-so-promising solo live blog attempt was ultimately saved by the surprise participation of several luminaries of the “angering Carrie Underwood fans online” world, including Matt Bjorke (Roughstock), Leeann (Country Universe), Dan (Country Universe), Brady (The 9513), Blake (The 9513, Country Universe, Roughstock, Modern Family), Trailer (Farce the Music), Baron (Twang Nation) and serial commenters Annie, KC, and AikoujOi. Thanks to all who showed up and added their voices to the mix.

I made a few minor edits for readability, but basically you should read this with the expectation that it will be a semi-disorienting chat session rather than a formal live blog. Without further ado…

7:05 PM: CountryCa Welcome to the 2009 CMA Awards Live Blog: Pacific Edition!
7:13 PM: CountryCa We’ll get started shortly before 8.
7:16 PM: Matt Bjorke (Roughstock) Since I’m in the pacific timezone, I’ll be joining ya this year.
7:16 PM: CountryCa Awesome, Matt. Glad to have someone who’s actually watching the show!
7:18 PM: AikoujOi I’m gonna follow this for as long as I can
7:21 PM: CountryCa Good to have you, AikoujOi. Who do you all think will win Entertainer?
7:23 PM: AikoujOi I dunno honestly
7:23 PM: Matt Bjorke (Roughstock) So you just can’t stand Taylor twice, eh? I’ll send some RS West coast readers to here via twitter.
7:24 PM: CountryCa My money’s on David Kersh.
7:25 PM: CountryCa I’d watch the show if I could. I’m without TV for a while.
7:25 PM: CountryCa Luckily, I don’t suspect I’ll miss a whole hell of a lot.
7:25 PM: AikoujOi what are the nominations for Entertainer? I’m willing to bet Taylor Swift is one of them
7:26 PM: CountryCa Kenny, Keith, Brad, George, Taylor.
7:26 PM: Matt Bjorke (Roughstock) haha, have you tried to get some sort of feed via the computer?
7:26 PM: Matt Bjorke (Roughstock) Did you see my predictions @ Roughstock?
7:26 PM: CountryCa Been looking around, but came up with nothin’ (re: feeds)
7:27 PM: AikoujOi Judging on the fanbase and the trend in Nashville, it’ll be either Keith or Taylor
7:27 PM: CountryCa I was just looking at your predictions, Matt. Slowly. Since it seems they’re spread out over about 24 posts. ;-)
7:28 PM: Matt Bjorke (Roughstock) haha, yes, 5 posts.
7:28 PM: Matt Bjorke (Roughstock) but it was designed to get people comin’ back and it works.
7:28 PM: AikoujOi I predict Sugarland will win Duo of the Yeat
7:29 PM: Matt Bjorke (Roughstock) What’s a Yeat? I kid, I kid…
7:30 PM: CountryCa I’m guessing Brooks and Dunn for duo.
7:30 PM: CountryCa Based on the timing. They’re breaking up next… yeat.
7:31 PM: Matt Bjorke (Roughstock) Perfect, I will predict “of the yeat” all night now…Actually I agree CM…
7:31 PM: CountryCa Anyhow, we should talk about how the West Coast is way better than the whole rest of the country.
7:32 PM: Matt Bjorke (Roughstock) haha, we could. Seattle has 2! of the Top 15 radio stations in the country according to Country Aircheck.
7:33 PM: Matt Bjorke (Roughstock) I’m feeling like writing ! like Shania! Tonight, In honor of the Seattle Mariners! resigning! Ken Griffey, Jr! again! Then again, maybe not…
7:34 PM: CountryCa I vote for not.
7:34 PM: Matt Bjorke (Roughstock) I’ve ignored twitter and other sites since 5pm to not know who won CMA Awards…
7:35 PM: CountryCa Yep, gotta go on lockdown.
7:37 PM: CountryCa For those just checking in, show starts in about 23 minutes.
7:37 PM: CountryCa Feel free to propose a discussion topic to fill this time.
7:37 PM: Matt Bjorke (Roughstock) What non country tunes/artists are you diggin’ at this time…
7:38 PM: AikoujOi I have a few non country tunes
7:38 PM: Matt Bjorke (Roughstock) Me personally, I’ve been enjoying the new Swell Season “Strict Joy” record and the Cage The Elephant self-titled disc…
7:38 PM: CountryCa I like Norah Jones.
7:39 PM: CountryCa I’m pretty bad about keeping up with anything that isn’t country.
7:39 PM: AikoujOi hahaha yeah
7:40 PM: AikoujOi Kinda the same way too
7:40 PM: Matt Bjorke (Roughstock) It’s a curse, I tell ya. A curse. Then again it’s a good way to listen to something that’s not about small towns and tractors from time to time
7:40 PM: Matt Bjorke (Roughstock) Also, it gives me appreciation or lack thereof when artists cover rock songs. Like “Use Somebody.” That cover by a newcomer doesn’t do it for me.
7:40 PM: Matt Bjorke (Roughstock) Margaret Durante
7:41 PM: AikoujOi Terri Clark is a really good country singer. She doesn’t sing about tracter and small towns or somethimg
7:41 PM: Matt Bjorke (Roughstock) If anybody is gonna cover that song, Sugarland should do it.
7:41 PM: CountryCa Sugarland can cover anything.
7:41 PM: Matt Bjorke (Roughstock) oh I know. I also have been diggin’ Steve Wariner’s Chet Atkins disc. Classy record, right there.
7:41 PM: AikoujOi Even Terri Clark? Would be interesting lol
7:42 PM: Matt Bjorke (Roughstock) Yes, as long as it’s not Kristian singin’ it.
7:43 PM: CountryCa Have you heard him doing “Holly Jolly Christmas” on that holiday disc?
7:43 PM: CountryCa His enunciation is so weird.
7:44 PM: CountryCa “Have a haw-ally jaw-ally Christmas…”
7:44 PM: AikoujOi hahahaha
7:44 PM: Matt Bjorke (Roughstock) Yes, it is weird but I don’t mind his voice from time to time
7:44 PM: Matt Bjorke (Roughstock) I just wouldn’t want him to sing Use Somebody…
7:44 PM: Matt Bjorke (Roughstock) or Terri Clark.
7:45 PM: CountryCa 15 minutes until showtime!
7:45 PM: Matt Bjorke (Roughstock) Have any of y’all heard Jace Everett’s “Red Relevations?”
7:45 PM: CountryCa Is it a communist manifesto?
7:46 PM: Matt Bjorke (Roughstock) hah, nope. good ole fashioned rockabilly record.
7:46 PM: Matt Bjorke (Roughstock) with “Bad Things” tacked on because of “True Blood” using it as the theme
7:47 PM: CountryCa I think “Bad Things” is all I’ve heard from him.
7:49 PM: CountryCa So.
7:49 PM: CountryCa Who are you guys wearing?
7:49 PM: Matt Bjorke (Roughstock) Well The damn record was one of the best I’ve heard this year…
7:49 PM: AikoujOi 11 more minutes until the fun starts here lol
7:49 PM: CountryCa I should check it out, Matt.
7:50 PM: Matt Bjorke (Roughstock) I was gonna wear the Jon Gosselin line until I decided I didn’t wanna look like a douche….so I decided on the Rory Feek line from Tractor Supply…
7:51 PM: CountryCa Sounds like a wise decision.
7:51 PM: Matt Bjorke (Roughstock) The Jace Everett record is on eMusic
7:51 PM: CountryCa Country Weekly was nice enough to RT my live blog announcement, so we should get a few more people yet as the show starts up.
7:52 PM: Matt Bjorke (Roughstock) that’s nice. I also posted it…
7:52 PM: AikoujOi ok cool
7:52 PM: CountryCa Thanks, Matt.
7:53 PM: AikoujOi 7 more minutes can’t wait for the humor
7:54 PM: CountryCa Now’s the time to start gathering your supplies for the three hours ahead. Water, snacks, earplugs, Dale Watson records.
7:54 PM: CountryCa Whatever you think you might need.
7:54 PM: Matt Bjorke (Roughstock) Dave Serby Records work too.
7:55 PM: CountryCa Blasphemy.
7:55 PM: Matt Bjorke (Roughstock) really? you don’t like Serby?
7:55 PM: KC Hi everyone
7:55 PM: CountryCa Well, he’s not Dale Watson.
7:55 PM: CountryCa But then, neither is Chuck Norris.
7:55 PM: CountryCa Hi KC!
7:56 PM: AikoujOi Kept saying my post looked like spam, I was trying to say hi
7:57 PM: CountryCa Huh, that’s weird.
7:59 PM: Matt Bjorke (Roughstock) it’s almost ‘game time’

CMA Awards: What Do You Say, West Coast?

C.M. Wilcox — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 16:52:04 +0000

I like giving those out on the West Coast something to do during the show, but it’s unclear if I’ll actually be able to watch the live broadcast this time around. I’d still be up for hosting a live blog/chat and offering quips on the show I’m not seeing, as well as general comments on the meaning of life.

Perhaps one or two people who will definitely be watching the show (in this time zone) would like to try their hand at live commentary? It’s easy, I promise. Let me know if you want to give it a shot.

In a spur-of-the-moment CMA Fest live blog a few months back – one that never appeared on this site – I tested out the ScribbleLive system, which seemed to make the whole experience pretty seamless. The main perk is that updates appear automatically without having to constantly refresh the page. There’s also a way of pulling in live tweets so that we can get a whole bunch of other voices (of people who are actually watching the show) in the mix. It’s a big improvement over the way we’ve done these things in the past.

Let me know what you think. If there’s interest, I’ll set it up. The show airs at 8pm Pacific Time.

By the way, Jason Aldean will be performing. And apparently that’s a big deal.

TTTMS #8: CMA Awards Fever

C.M. Wilcox — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 19:31:00 +0000

Things That Threaten My Sanity: CMA Awards Fever

It seems like I’ve been hearing about the CMA Awards nonstop since the nominees were announced two months ago. Predictions, editorials, and history lessons were all good fun, but at a certain point it got to be too much. The awards season, like the election season, wore on too long. I was burnt out weeks ago. Unlike the election season, the end result was not change or the making of history; in this show, the winners were the safe bets. It was like the world’s longest build-up to the same old thing.

Last night, I was thankful for small favors – Taylor Swift not being acknowledged (beyond nomination, at least) for her vocal prowess, the sparse “Stay” rightly being rewarded, some of the performers not sucking. Today, in the sobering light of morning – okay, in the sobering light of almost-noon – I’m reminded of just how irrelevant the proceedings of the night were to me. When I sat down to write this, I didn’t pop in a CD by Carrie Underwood or Rodney Atkins – I popped in a CD by Kasey Chambers & Shane Nicholson, who have approximately zero chance of being featured on the CMAs despite putting out one of the best (and most unabashedly country) albums of the year. Because apparently someone thinks I would rather watch Kid Rock and Lil Wayne.

I’m glad to see the wrap-ups posted today because that means the awards season is finally over and I can go back to doing what I do best: not caring about the CMAs.

2008 CMA Awards Live Blog (Pacific Edition)

C.M. Wilcox — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 09:00:00 +0000

Welcome to the 2008 CMA Awards Live Blog (Pacific Edition): Less Popular and Three Hours Late. Since live blogs are already underway elsewhere, I’m cordoning myself off and not checking any other sites for the rest of the night. If you’ll be following along and want to review the list of nominees without stumbling across any spoilers, I’ve temporarily posted it here: 2008 CMA Awards Nominees

I’ll be back just before 8pm Pacific Time to get this party started.

7:49 – Eleven minutes until showtime. I’ve never been so excited in all my life.
7:53 – I watched the CMT red carpet thing and learned that Taylor Swift’s dress weighs like 400 pounds, but I’m not sure that I believe it.
7:58 – Be still, heart.
8:00 – COUNTRY MUSIC’S BIGGEST NIGHT HAS BEGUN!
8:03 – Red and white/blue guitars. Already with the subliminal patriotic messages. I’ll confess to being baffled by the heart on Brad Paisley’s chest.
8:05 – KC: “What’s with the commercial for the show on the screens in the background while they played? Like people there don’t already know who’s there.”
8:06 – Brad Paisley has a reddish tie and Carrie Underwood is wearing a blue/white dress of some sort. I see what they did there.
8:09 – Kristian Bush was shown in the audience looking like an unkempt Charlie Chaplin.
8:12 – I’m surprised by the Strait single win. And Tony Brown is sweaty.
8:17 – Kellie Pickler is doing the Swift cowrite in a very distracting outfit.
8:20 – It’s weird seeing Brad Paisley so stiff as he reads off the prompter.
8:22 – Oh no, here come the unnecessary Good Time dancers. The thing I like about Alan Jackson is that he only uses about 4 square feet of stage space.
8:26 – “Stay” gets Song of the Year and Miley Cyrus looks like a waitress at a Mexican restaurant in that dress.
8:32 – I’m excited to see Miranda do “More Like Her.”
8:36 – Lady Antebellum always sounds pretty good, but so far this is like the night of distracting video screen imagery.
8:41 – KC thinks Miranda will be the best of the night. I wouldn’t be surprised.
8:44 – So far, Brad and Carrie haven’t been distracting, which is all you can expect from them in a first-time hosting gig. And this Martina song bores me. How’d she get a performance slot on the show? She’s been MIA for a while.
8:47 – I think Martina pushed herself a bit too hard, working the stage more than usual and uncharacteristically missing a couple notes.
8:51 – I was coming here to say it, but KC beat me. Regarding the new Rodney Atkins song: “Goody, more patriotism for you.”
8:53 – Rascal Flatts wins Vocal Group? What a shocker.
8:54 – Joe Don is the odd man out without a flowered pattern on his jacket or shirt.
8:56 – This Richard Simmons yogurt commercial is less annoying than Rascal Flatts.
8:59 – 1/3 of the way through. Are we having fun yet?
9:01 – I wonder where you apply to get a job as a dancer in period costume for a Taylor Swift award show performance.
9:03 – Long live Underwear Boy. And here comes Kid Rock…
9:07 – Kid Rock and Kristian Bush should start a hat club. And I love the American flag graphics on the screen, because this is America, by God, and I don’t want to not be reminded of it for a second of this show.
9:08 – KC: “I’m surprised they haven’t acknowledged the troops yet.”
9:14 – I know this is supposed to be a “River of Love” and all, but I’m not feeling it. I’d rather have seen George do pretty much anything else.
9:18 – Oh, neat, a song about being country. And I do believe Jason Aldean just said “mamma jamma.” (Bonus points: red, white, and blue graphics.)
9:23 – As Lady Antebellum made their way onstage to claim New Artist, I think I saw Randy Travis and his wife off to the side in the front row. Weird that he got such prime seating. Anyhow, I was glad to see Lady Antebellum take that category.
9:29 – I thought that was the introduction to a Jerry Reed tribute, but it turns out it was the whole thing. Guess it’s better than nothing?
9:34 – Ronnie Dunn and Alan Jackson should have a competition to see who can be the more laid-back singer. And Reba’s presence in that duet felt mostly unnecessary.
9:38 – Glad Sugarland got Best Duo, since they’ve sure done more interesting stuff than Brooks and Dunn lately. Mac McAnally (Musician winner) looks like an Irish lumberjack.
9:41 – Place your bets now. Will Darius Rucker get a standing ovation?
9:43 – A partial standing ovation? What was that?
9:46 – Kudos to Brad Paisley for skipping the distracting video screen usage.
9:50 – George Strait rightly gets Best Album. The return of Sweaty Tony.
9:53 – Josh Turner and Lee Ann Womack should have been performing, not presenting.
9:58 – My viewing partner here at the house thinks Keith Urban’s “Sweet Thing” sounds like a Rascal Flatts song.
10:00 – Military tribute time, folks. Quite a jarring transition from the Urban ditty to this lady’s earnest speech.
10:03 – All of a sudden it’s windy in the theater. Carrie might get blown away.
10:05 – Never been a big fan of the song, but at least she can sing on key.
10:07 – Brad Paisley thinks “Just a Dream” is “what country music’s all about.”
10:08 – It’s the speed round tribute to the latest Hall of Fame inductees by a very greenish Vince Gill.
10:11 – CMA makes the least interesting choice possible for Female Vocalist by giving the prize to Carrie Underwood. Sorry, Miranda.
10:16 – Sugarland is performing “Love” and there are lots of umbrellas onstage. Will it rain? Luckily, Kristian is wearing his hat.
10:18 – I’m not sure what Jennifer’s wearing, but she can sing. I’m told that this song would sound right at home on a Lion King soundtrack.
10:19 – KC: “Kristian should be more like Kix Brooks and stay silent.”
10:22 – James Otto did “Just Got Started Loving You” justice, but they apparently asked him to work a radio award announcement into the end of the song. Awkward.
10:25 – While we’re at commercial, I’d like to point out that that’s only the second most awkward transition of the night. The appearance of a serious military widow in a pilgrim outfit at the end of “Sweet Thing” still takes the cake.
10:28 – We’re quickly approaching the end of the show. Hey, Brad Paisley made a Palin reference! Why isn’t she there?
10:30 – Kenny Chesney whips his head to the side as he completes every line.
10:33 – Who’s this guy and has Kenny lost his mind?
10:35 – Trace Adkins delivers one of the best performances of the night.
10:38 – Reese Witherspoon would make a good host.
10:40 – Brad Paisley won Male Vocalist, but Reese Witherspoon didn’t have a trophy for him, so a woman came out with him to hand the trophy to Reese so she could hand the trophy to Brad. Smooth.
10:44 – Sixteen minutes to go. Is it everything you dreamed it would be?
10:48 – I’m glad the Eagles are still around to remind all the contemporary “country” acts who want to be the Eagles that the slot’s already filled.
10:53 – Who will get Entertainer? My guess is Keith Urban.
10:55 – Shania gets a standing ovation just for being there? Eat that, Rucker.
10:56 – KC: “I wonder if Shania will have trouble with radio now that Carrie is here.”
10:56 – Kenny keeps the Entertainer trophy for another year.
11:00 – Someone forgot to put a “Good night, everyone!” on the prompter for Carrie and Brad, so they just waved awkwardly to end the show.

Thanks to KC for keeping me company in my first live blog. This was fun!

2008 CMA Awards Pre-Show Recap

C.M. Wilcox — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 08:00:00 +0000

I’ll admit that it might be a little unusual to post a recap before the show has even happened, but I feel like I already have a pretty good idea of how things will go down. If you’re in the Pacific Time Zone, join me here tonight at 8 for the live blog. If you’re somewhere else, Country Universe and The 9513 will both have the scoop for you earlier. Anyway, on with the pre-show recap:

In keeping with the theme of his latest album, Male Vocalist winner Brad Paisley gave an all-instrumental acceptance speech. This seemed like a great idea at first, but got kinda boring about halfway through.
Carrie Underwood showed a sense of humor and proved that she’s not actually a fembot. The jury’s still out on Kristy Lee Cook, however.
When Kenny Chesney won Entertainer of the Year, they cut to a shot of George Strait leaping to his feet and headbutting a nearby usher in mock frustration. This immediately set off a firestorm of internet commentary.
Randy Owen looked crabby every time he was shown in the audience.
John Rich debuted a heartfelt new tune called “Where Were You (When the Earth Stopped Turning)” written in the week since Obama’s presidential win.
The surprise guest was Cleve Francis. You can’t say you weren’t surprised!
Taylor Swift’s dramatic performance culminated in an onstage hailstorm and blizzard, after which she stood shivering with mouth agape, apparently frozen in place. She was then rushed off to a hospital, where she remained for the rest of the night. She is expected to make a full recovery.
Toby Keith, who again refused to attend the ceremony on principle, was spotted at an Oklahoma bar crying in front of a television set during the broadcast.
Julianne Hough and Chuck Wicks looked disgustingly cute sitting together in the audience, which won them more camera time than their careers merit.
Someone was booed/applauded for making a political comment.
Everyone knew that The Wailers and Kenny Chesney would be performing, but incorrectly assumed they would be together. As it turned out, The Wailers were present to back up Rascal Flatts in a Caribbean rendition of “Bob That Head.”
Meanwhile, Chesney dug deep into his back catalog for a smokin’ rendition of the 1997 album cut “Steamy Windows.”
Garth Brooks came out of retirement again, but nobody cared.
Hank III showed up backstage to demand that his granddaddy be given Entertainer of the Year. Upon being told that this was an unrealistic demand, he threatened to start an internet petition and stormed out of the room cursing.
Ultimately, the most interesting thing about the show was the blog coverage of it.

Live Blogging the CMA Awards on Pacific Time

C.M. Wilcox — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 08:00:00 +0000

I don’t know what any of my easterly neighbors in the country blogging world have planned for Wednesday, but I’ll be here at 8pm Pacific Time to live blog the CMA Awards. I’ve always had to sit out live blogs in the past because of the time difference (“live” usually means hours early here), so this time I’m throwing the party myself.

I’ll be prepared to do it alone; luckily, I have no qualms about talking to myself. I know there are a few readers scattered around this timezone, though, and it’d be great fun to have some of you here for the shindig. Bring some snark and we’ll make it a potluck.

I recommend that you get a Blogger/Google account and stay logged in for the duration of the event. That way, your identity will be pre-selected in the dropdown menu and commenting will be as simple as typing words and hitting Submit. If you want to get that set up now, feel free to use this post as a testing grounds.

[Those who've had trouble with the commenting system are also encouraged to give this a try. Might make things generally easier for you, since wonderful blogs like Music Tomes, Photocrap, and Melodic Sunburst all use the same system.]

If Country Universe or The 9513 also live blog the event, join me in not reading theirs until we’ve had ours. Why should those geographically disadvantaged non-westerners have all the fun?