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More ACM Awards Predictions

C.M. Wilcox — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 17:56:30 +0000

The show will open with a stunningly bad performance by a major star.
Someone will try to blame it on ‘sound issues.’ (How is it that Martina McBride never has any of these? Oh, right… because she can sing, like, for real.)
There will be a Strait quip within the first two minutes of Reba’s opening monologue.
Awards will be presented by actors from fledgling CBS shows, none of whom I’ll recognize.
One of said actors will wear a cowboy hat to bolster his country credibility.
Jimmy Buffett will take the stage with the Zac Brown Band, leaving Kenny Chesney inconsolable.
Blake Shelton will drunk-tweet before, during, and after the show.
Martina McBride will break into an anti-Semitic tirade while presenting an award.
Taylor Swift will make this face at least once.
Viewers will make a face similar to the above when Swift reaches for uncomfortable notes during her multiple performances. ‘Sound issues’ will be to blame.
Rascal Flatts will pull an “I’mma let you finish” on the Entertainer of the Year winner, reminding everyone in attendance that they recently celebrated ten years in the business and are a pretty big deal.
Every mention/appearance of Brooks & Dunn will get long applause and/or an ovation.
Every mention of Dale Watson will cut to a shot of a clearly befuddled Kristian Bush.
Just kidding. There won’t be any mentions of Dale Watson. You’ll have to tune into the Ameripolitan Awards for those.
By the way, Kristian Bush will wear a stupid hat.
Jamey Johnson’s beard will fan out and consume the entire audience, like something from a sci-fi movie.
Performance highlights: “The House That Built Me,” “Temporary Home,” whatever ZBB and Jamey do.
Justin Moore will be mistaken for Tyler Dickerson.
Country great Kid Rock will perform.
The day after the show, someone will publish an editorial about how this was the one that finally ‘killed’ country music. They’ll be wrong, as always.

ACM Awards 2010: Predictions

C.M. Wilcox — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 19:50:41 +0000

ENTERTAINER OF THE YEAR
Kenny Chesney
Toby Keith
Brad Paisley
George Strait
Taylor Swift
Carrie Underwood
Keith Urban
Zac Brown Band

Reasoning: It’s partially fan-voted.

TOP MALE VOCALIST OF THE YEAR
Kenny Chesney
Brad Paisley
Darius Rucker
George Strait
Keith Urban

Reasoning: Won it last year, has released a critically-lauded album and toured continuously since then. Safest choice, though I wouldn’t count Rucker out either.

TOP FEMALE VOCALIST OF THE YEAR
Miranda Lambert
Reba McEntire
Taylor Swift
Carrie Underwood
Lee Ann Womack

Reasoning: Won it last year. Swift will be sufficiently recognized elsewhere that they won’t feel the need to give this one to her, and Lambert probably doesn’t have the support to beat Underwood in this category.

TOP VOCAL GROUP OF THE YEAR
Lady Antebellum
Little Big Town
Randy Rogers Band
Rascal Flatts
Zac Brown Band

Reasoning: It’d be nice to see ZBB take it, but Lady Antebellum has the buzz. I don’t think Rascal Flatts can hold them off for another year.

TOP VOCAL DUO OF THE YEAR
Brooks & Dunn
Joey + Rory
Montgomery Gentry
Steel Magnolia
Sugarland

Reasoning: Wholly undeserved on the basis of their work this past year, but they’re breaking up.

TOP NEW SOLO VOCALIST OF THE YEAR *
Luke Bryan
Jamey Johnson
Chris Young

Reasoning: Fan-voted and Bryan is the most vanilla of the lot.

TOP NEW VOCAL DUO OF THE YEAR *
Bomshel
Joey + Rory
Steel Magnolia

Reasoning: This video is adorable.

TOP NEW VOCAL GROUP OF THE YEAR *
Eli Young Band
Gloriana
The Lost Trailers

Reasoning: Fan-voted, young/tech-savvy fanbase, lack of serious competition.

ALBUM OF THE YEAR [Awarded to Artist(s)/Producer(s)/Record Company(s)]
‘American Saturday Night’ – Brad Paisley (Arista Nashville)
‘Lady Antebellum’ – Lady Antebellum (Capitol Records Nashville)
‘Play On’ – Carrie Underwood (19/Arista Nashville)
‘Revolution’ – Miranda Lambert (Columbia Nashville)
‘The Foundation’ – Zac Brown Band (Southern Ground / Bigger Picture / Atlantic)

Reasoning: Presence of 3/5 solid contenders shows they’re pretty serious about recognizing actual quality in this category, and Lambert’s album was the strongest.

SINGLE RECORD OF THE YEAR [Awarded to Artist(s)/Producer(s)/Record Company(s)]
‘Need You Now’ – Lady Antebellum (Capitol Records Nashville)
‘People Are Crazy’ – Billy Currington (Mercury)
‘Red Light’ – David Nail (MCA Nashville)
‘Toes’ – Zac Brown Band (Southern Ground / Bigger Picture / Atlantic)
‘White Liar’ – Miranda Lambert (Columbia Nashville)

Reasoning: This song was everywhere.

SONG OF THE YEAR [Awarded to Composer(s)/Publisher(s)/Artist(s)]
‘Cowboy Casanova’ – Carrie Underwood
‘Need You Now’ – Lady Antebellum
‘People Are Crazy’ – Billy Currington
‘White Liar’ – Miranda Lambert
‘You Belong With Me’ – Taylor Swift

Reasoning: People really liked it.

VIDEO OF THE YEAR [Awarded to Producer(s)/Director(s)/Artist(s)]
‘Boots On’ – Randy Houser
‘Need You Now’ – Lady Antebellum
‘Welcome to the Future’ – Brad Paisley
‘White Liar’ – Miranda Lambert
‘You Belong With Me’ – Taylor Swift

Reasoning: Swift and Paisley had the most elaborate productions, and I expect they’ll be looking to reward someone other than Paisley (the winner two years running) this time around.

VOCAL EVENT OF THE YEAR [Awarded to Artist(s)/Producer(s)/Record Company]
‘Hillbilly Bone’ – Blake Shelton featuring Trace Adkins
‘Honky Tonk Stomp’ – Brooks & Dunn featuring Billy Gibbons
‘I Told You So’ – Carrie Underwood featuring Randy Travis
‘I’m Alive’ – Kenny Chesney with Dave Matthews
‘Seeing Stars’ – Jack Ingram featuring Patty Griffin

Reasoning: The most ubiquitous of the lot. Was awarded off-screen last year, so it makes sense that this is where they would recognize an actually country act like Randy Travis. Wouldn’t want to let him talk on TV!

HUMANITARIAN AWARD
Montgomery Gentry

Reasoning: I got this one in the bag.

Improving the ACM Awards

C.M. Wilcox — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 19:06:32 +0000

What’s the #1 thing the ACM could have done to improve last night’s awards show? It can be something they should have included, something they should have left out, or something they should have handled differently. Pointing out that most of the show sucked doesn’t count as a response. Let’s try to be constructive here.

My first thought was to get rid of fan voting, but I’m honestly not sure that the results would have been much better if the voting had all been done by industry folks, so I won’t go with that one.

Instead, since I think that the show was slanted pretty heavily toward new sounds in “country” music (though Adkins, Johnson, and Womack offered reprieves), I think they should have given the Miley Cyrus performance slot to Loretta Lynn to balance things out a bit. Not bloody likely, but it would have brought a legendary element to the show that was sorely missing. As it was, Reba and George were pretty much the token legend types (with careers dating back to the ’70s), and the songs they performed weren’t exactly radical departures from the rest of what was being played on the show. Loretta would have dug in her heels and offered a legendary performance – not just a safely contemporary performance by someone who happens to have been around for a long time.

So, there’s my fanciful suggestion. What’s yours?

2009 ACM Awards Live Blog: Pacific Edition

C.M. Wilcox — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 01:51:18 +0000

6:49 PM: Just over an hour to showtime. Is this thing on?
6:56 PM: I’m trying out ScribbleLive, which will hopefully make this a bit easier than last time.
7:00 PM: The post should update without you having to continually reload the page.
7:16 PM: I’m so not following the rules on how to throw an ACM party: www.cmt.com
7:51 PM: Less than 10 minutes to showtime.
7:53 PM: Which performances are you looking forward to? Johnson and Lambert are tops for me. Should be interesting to see Heidi Newfield perform on one of these too, if only for the novelty of it.
7:56 PM: I’m also pretty excited to see The Lost Trailers win Top Vocal Group.
7:59 PM: I hope you’re ready for it…
8:00 PM: … because the show begins NOW!
8:02 PM: And we’re beginning with a medley, kicked off by a rock song about “Play[ing] Something Country”… encouraging sign
8:02 PM: This is like the ADD version of the whole show.
8:04 PM: Carrie appears to be dressed in an oversized Kleenex
8:05 PM: Oh God, it’s Rascal Flatts
8:06 PM: And Gary stole his shirt from Elvis.
8:07 PM: At least we can be sure the hosting will be top notch.
8:08 PM: “Kenny Chesney from the Caribbean, Keith Urban from Australia”
8:08 PM: Uh… is that what Kenny’s saying these days?
8:11 PM: Fan voting, boo.
8:11 PM: Kenny’s doing “Out Last Night”
8:12 PM: And he’s back to sleeveless shirts. Don’t think he has worn them on the last few shows.
8:12 PM: This song bores me to tears. Nice enough sound, but the lyrics.
8:13 PM: The song said he’s from East Tennessee, but Reba says the Caribbean.
8:13 PM: I just don’t know who to believe.
8:15 PM: Alan didn’t look too impressed when they showed him.
8:15 PM: Song of the Year
8:16 PM: I’m betting on George, but hoping for Jamey.
8:17 PM: Jamey Johnson gets it! And James Otto is joining him onstage, since he’s one of the writers.
8:17 PM: Otto is about 11 feet tall from what I understand.
8:18 PM: “Up next, Miley Cyrus and Toby Keith”
8:18 PM: Please, let it be together.
8:20 PM: 1/9 of the way into it now. How was the first 11%?
8:21 PM: I’m told that George had an odd expression on his face when Jamey won. Anyone notice it? I’ll have to look again afterwards.
8:23 PM: Heidi Newfield doing “Johnny and June”
8:24 PM: A ring of fire onstage! How unanticipated.
8:25 PM: I was going to say she looked pretty tan or warm or something before.
8:25 PM: Perhaps too many rehearsals… have also scorched her eyelids.
8:25 PM: Prohibiting her from opening her eyes all the way.
8:26 PM: I’ve heard she can be pitchy live, but that seemed pretty much like the record.
8:27 PM: What “great group” was Darius part of?
8:27 PM: Top Vocal Group now
8:28 PM: Rascal Flatts! OMG!
8:29 PM: Gary LeVox thanked God, who was unavailable for comment.
8:33 PM: I have this sneaking suspicion most of my predictions will be way off.
8:35 PM: Some supermodel is introducing Toby Keith, who’s performing… “God Love Her”
8:36 PM: I understand Ethan Hawke is standing by to make up stories about what goes on backstage.
8:38 PM: Is it just me or is Toby shaking a lot? Not his voice. His face.
8:38 PM: Well, his voice too, but that’s normal.
8:39 PM: Jamey Johnson performing “In Color”
8:40 PM: The performance seems designed to replicate the music video.
8:41 PM: Except with a bunch of women swaying in a circle around him… seriously, no guys. What’s with that?
8:42 PM: Okay, so maybe there are a few guys. But it’s all women right in front.
8:42 PM: So close that they’re almost enveloped in his beard.
8:47 PM: Jamie Foxx is onstage… doing something. It’s not clear just what yet.
8:49 PM: Apparently he’s there to make all the white people (i.e. almost everybody) uncomfortable with a series of race jokes.
8:50 PM: George Strait performing “Troubadour”
8:50 PM: Whew, it’s not “River of Love”
8:51 PM: The ACM seems to have their act pretty together with the sound.
8:53 PM: George is too cool. Joey + Rory enjoyed that performance.
8:54 PM: Did Jack Ingram say “their prospective categories” instead of respective?
8:54 PM: Top New Artist is Julianne Hough… holy cow.
8:54 PM: Did anyone call that?
8:57 PM: Let’s do some fan voting. Who should have won Top New Artist?
9:00 PM: If you said Zac Brown Band, you are correct.
9:00 PM: Or Jake Owen, really. Anyone but Hough.
9:01 PM: David Copperfield’s demeanor does not match his cowboy hat.
9:02 PM: Copperfield has a magical box that produces teenage girls. Kinda creepy.
9:04 PM: If there was ever any doubt about Swift’s country credentials… uh, there still is. Now more than ever.
9:06 PM: But she puts on some pretty ambitious performances at these shows.
9:06 PM: Taylor’s getting an award from Reba.
9:06 PM: Crystal Milestone award?
9:06 PM: Swift then asked “Are you serious!?”
9:07 PM: At which point Reba said “Nope” and snatched away the award.
9:07 PM: Lady Antebellum performing “I Run to You”
9:08 PM: Uh, Reba didn’t really snatch away the award… by the way.
9:09 PM: I just like to incorporate Fake News into live blogs.
9:10 PM: KC points out that Hough’s win does not bode well for anyone not named Carrie Underwood in the Entertainer category.
9:13 PM: Man, I should have drank before the show. It’d be way better.
9:13 PM: My comments would probably also be hilarious/indecipherable.
9:14 PM: Miranda Lambert commercial… for cotton. Odd.
9:15 PM: Hal says: “You should start drinking now. Every time someone on a major label gets an award, take a drink. Every time Reba hiccups like a hillbilly, take a drink. Every time an artist who won an award last year wins an award this year, take a drink.”
9:15 PM: You heard the man, folks. Start now.
9:16 PM: Lee Ann Womack is even singing “Solitary Thinkin.” What better time?
9:17 PM: Pointing out the obvious: this lady can sing.
9:18 PM: I don’t think I could sing like that on 10-inch heels.
9:19 PM: But that is purely speculation.
9:19 PM: What is this lady’s dress? Red, white and blue something or other.
9:19 PM: Top Vocal Duo… here comes a Sugarland win?
9:20 PM: Sugarland. Called it. Thank you very much.
9:21 PM: Jennifer Nettles’ neckline is down around her pelvis.
9:23 PM: I didn’t mean to comment so much on clothing, but people certainly do wear some strange things to these shows.
9:23 PM: Keith Urban performing “Kiss a Girl”
9:26 PM: Well, he always gives 100%, so that’s commendable. Still not big on this song.
9:27 PM: Audience shot of Kidman bobbing head slightly to song, which qualifies for her as dancing.
9:28 PM: Are we really just halfway through? Geez.
9:30 PM: New song from Miranda should be coming up when these commercials are over, so that’s something to look forward to.
9:31 PM: Think I’d be hammered by now if I had actually run with Hal’s drinking game idea.
9:33 PM: Miranda performing “Dead Flowers”
9:36 PM: What do you guys think? I think she could have chosen a better (or at least more immediately striking) one to perform on the show. Might grow on me later… maybe? Not too excited about it right now.
9:37 PM: Humanitarian Award to Leann Rimes.
9:39 PM: John Rich is “Shuttin’ Detroit Down” solo acoustic
9:40 PM: I think I’d laugh if Jared Ashley jumped onstage and confronted him.
9:41 PM: Probably a good call to do it solo, as his voice is so thin that it’d get drowned out by a band.
9:42 PM: His guitar was “Made in the USA,” by the way. In case you were wondering. Which you weren’t. But it was… just so you know.
9:47 PM: Just what this show needs: a goodly dose of Billy Ray Cyrus.
9:48 PM: Engaging in a little shameless self-promotion.
9:48 PM: Miley Cyrus on a country awards show. The moment we’ve all waited for!
9:48 PM: I believe something may be on fire. That’s a lot of smoke.
9:49 PM: Well, I’m glad someone came along to make Taylor sound like a good singer.
9:52 PM: Hal says: Just like on the Price is Right, if Miley gets to the top of the staircase you don’t win a prize.
9:52 PM: Montgomery Gentry doing “One in Every Crowd”
9:55 PM: I wonder how Montgomery Gentry went about telling all their band guys that they’d be standing offstage in the front row for this performance?
9:55 PM: That had to be an awkward conversation.
9:57 PM: Brady says: There’s something a little strange about a song talking about “the climb” or having to work to reach a goal and then riding a geriatric escalator to reach the top of the “mountain.” What kind of a message is that?
9:59 PM: I’m digging ScribbleLive. How’s the automatic post reloading thing working for you guys?
10:00 PM: Carrie performing “I Told You So” in a theater curtain.
10:01 PM: Which is at least an upgrade from the Kleenex we saw earlier.
10:04 PM: Darn, I wanted to see Carrie try to walk offstage in that dress.
10:05 PM: Top Male Vocalist
10:05 PM: We haven’t done any awards in a while, have we? Lots of performances.
10:06 PM: Brad Paisley gets Top Male Vocalist.
10:07 PM: Funny Little Jimmy Dickens joke.
10:09 PM: What new blood should they inject into the Top Male Vocalist category next year? Any suggestions? Josh Turner, maybe?
10:12 PM: Reba doing a new song… “Strange”
10:13 PM: Confession: Reba’s facial expressions when she sings have always bugged me.
10:15 PM: Top Female Vocalist
10:15 PM: Come on, Miranda. Please.
10:16 PM: or Lee Ann Womack.
10:16 PM: Either of those would be fine.
10:16 PM: But it’s Underwood, naturally. Will she go on to win Entertainer too?
10:20 PM: Trace (doing “Til the Last Shot’s Fired” now) always sings great.
10:21 PM: The superfluous soldier choir is waiting in shadows.
10:23 PM: Still pretty affecting to have them there, I guess. People are in tears.
10:25 PM: We’re on the final stretch now, folks.
10:25 PM: ~35 minutes remaining.
10:26 PM: I’m betting it will be life-changing.
10:26 PM: Is anyone else debuting a new song?
10:26 PM: Haven’t really cared for any of the new ones that were supposed to be a big deal.
10:28 PM: It looks like Reba is wearing a portion of Carrie’s theater curtain.
10:29 PM: Sugarland (i.e. Jennifer Nettles and That Guy) doing “What I’d Give”
10:30 PM: Hal says: Does Mr. Sugarland ever appear with his assumedly bald head revealed?
10:32 PM: Jennifer is wailing on that electric guitar… (cough)
10:33 PM: Nettles gets a Crystal Milestone from Reba
10:34 PM: Single of the Year
10:34 PM: There’s an audio/visual hitch
10:34 PM: Trace Adkins gets Single
10:36 PM: Uh… they just went out to commercial with “Who will win Female Vocalist?”
10:37 PM: Didn’t we just do that one? Not very suspenseful.
10:41 PM: 20 minutes left.
10:41 PM: Time to get serious about Entertainer. Who will get it? Does Carrie have it in a lock?
10:42 PM: Here’s Blake Shelton’s fill-in performance of “She Wouldn’t Be Gone”
10:43 PM: Album of the Year
10:44 PM: That Lonesome Song… please.
10:44 PM: I think he’s got it on this one.
10:45 PM: Oh snap, it’s Taylor Swift
10:46 PM: I guess the album has sold about 56 million copies already, but really.
10:47 PM: That was majorly disappointing, and now they’re following it up with a Rascal Flatts performance. Wow. Might as well club me in the face with a bowling pin.
10:48 PM: At least The Voice shrieks a little less on slower songs.
10:52 PM: I’m still holding out hope for a The Lost Trailers win in the Entertainer of the Year category.
10:54 PM: A side effect of this antidepressant is “confusion”
10:54 PM: Not sure if I’d rather be depressed or confused.
10:56 PM: Matthew M… even sober, can’t spell his last name.
10:57 PM: Oh, the last four minutes of the show… great time to add a long anecdote, presenter.
10:57 PM: That time won’t come out of anyone’s speech.
10:57 PM: At least it was a good anecdote.
10:58 PM: Entertainer of the Year
10:59 PM: Carrie Underwood (in a Kleenex again)!
11:01 PM: So, here’s the deal. I DVRed the show to watch it an hour later, and the recording cut off Underwood’s speech halfway through. Did she drop any pearls of wisdom in the latter half?
11:03 PM: There goes Chesney’s only category.
11:04 PM: As we wrap up here, I’d like to take a moment to thank you all for hanging out. Definitely made it more interesting for me… hopefully for you, too.
11:05 PM: Feel free to stay around and discuss. See you next time.
11:06 PM: Have a nice night, everyone.

2009 ACM Awards Nominees + Predictions

C.M. Wilcox — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 18:06:45 +0000

Here’s the nominee list. It’s available everywhere, but I post it here too so that those participating in the live blog can refer to it without happening upon any spoilers once the show is underway on the East Coast. I’ll be going on lockdown at 5pm, not checking any of my blogging neighbors (or Twitter, etc.) until the show’s over.

Important:
There has been some confusion as to the time of the show. Since CBS and the ACM list 8pm as the official start time, I’m assuming that that’s when the show will be airing for most people, so that’s when the live blog will be happening. In some areas on the West Coast (including mine), the show may be coming on at 7pm. If that’s the case for you, you can either do your own thing or DVR the show and start it an hour late (that’s what I’m doing). Check your local listings and figure out what you want to do from there.

Also, Quotable Country is being pushed back a day (to Monday) to make room for all the doozies I’m sure we’ll hear on the awards show tonight. I’m counting on you, John Rich.

Here’s what you need to know about how to read the list: The asterisk (*) denotes my predictions. Bold for already-announced winners. Italics for incumbents (2008 winners). Simple as that.

I’ll see you here tonight, I hope. Feel free to hit me with your questions or predictions in the comments.

2009 ACM AWARDS NOMINEES

Entertainer of the Year

Kenny Chesney
Brad Paisley
George Strait
Carrie Underwood
Keith Urban*

Top Male Vocalist

Kenny Chesney
Toby Keith
Brad Paisley*
George Strait
Keith Urban

Top Female Vocalist

Miranda Lambert
Heidi Newfield
Taylor Swift
Carrie Underwood*
Lee Ann Womack

Top Vocal Group

Lady Antebellum
Little Big Town
Rascal Flatts*
Randy Rogers Band
The Lost Trailers

Top Vocal Duo

Big & Rich
Brooks & Dunn
Joey + Rory
Montgomery Gentry
Sugarland*