Lorrie Morgan’s Ex-Husbands to Form a Band

The former husbands of '90s country queen Lorrie Morgan announced today that they will come together to release a debut album under the name Five Minutes Later, apparently a reference to one of Morgan's chart-topping breakup songs. The band will include: Ron Gaddis (1979-1980), previously the bass player in George Jones' band, on bass; Jon Randall (1996-1999), a noted songwriter/guitarist whose "Whiskey Lullaby" was a 2004 hit for Brad Paisley and Alison Krauss, on electric and acoustic guitars; … [Read more...]

Collin Raye’s Next Album All Songs About Underwear

Fresh off several years of high-profile commercial exposure with his cheeky Fruit of the Loom ads, former country hitmaker Collin Raye has revealed that his comeback album will consist entirely of songs about underwear. To hear Raye tell it, he had little choice in the matter. "You don't mess with success" he laughed, referring to the "popularity" of songs like "You Can't Overlove Your Underwear." "Oh that'll be on there for sure, but that's just for starters" said Raye, his cheeks blushing … [Read more...]

Eric Church Kicked Off T.G. Sheppard Tour

Country maverick Eric Church lost his opening slot on The T.G. Sheppard Tour after a raucous performance at a Branson retirement home on Tuesday night. Sheppard personally delivered the bad news to Church around 10pm as the two singers were lugging their sound equipment back to their shared "tour bus," a 1989 Mazda Miata parked behind the venue. The termination came after weeks of tension caused by Church's tendency to extend his contractually-mandated thirty-minute opening set into a loose … [Read more...]

Willie Nelson to Record Duets Album With You

Willie Nelson has announced that his next studio album will be a collection of duets with you. He plans to show up at your house around 6ish this evening to begin work on the project. Singing lessons will be unnecessary as Nelson believes you have an "earthy everyman/woman vibe" that will translate well to his 376th official release. The songs will include several traditional standards such as "Wayfaring Stranger," a couple tracks by top Nashville songwriters, and a few as-yet-nonexistent … [Read more...]

Despondent, Old Blue Chair Drowns Self in Caribbean Sea

Early this morning, scuba divers discovered a weather-worn wicker chair on the ocean floor just off the coast of the Caribbean island of St. John. After extricating the chair from the seaweed in which it had become entangled and hauling it to shore, one of the scuba divers recognized it as a late companion of country singer Kenny Chesney. The chair was last seen alive yesterday, when several islanders noticed it hobbling along the beach toward a remote, cliffy area. Although no note has been … [Read more...]

Kenny Chesney Denies Rumor That He Prefers Éclairs

In a recent interview with Food & Wine magazine, Kenny Chesney denied a longstanding rumor that he prefers the French pastry known as the éclair to the more conventional American ring-shaped donut. "For someone to imply that I would prefer the éclair is, to me, very hurtful. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I love regular donuts, round with a hole in the middle, just like your typical God-fearing American male." Pressed for further information, Chesney added: "As the career grows and … [Read more...]

The Lost Trailers to Be Inducted Into Grand Ole Opry

The Grand Ole Opry announced today that members of the highly-unacclaimed country group The Lost Trailers will become its newest inductees this Saturday, February 14. Opry General Manager Pete Fisher explained: "They seem like a new group, but they've actually been together since 2000 and have already put out as many albums as Josh Turner and Carrie Underwood [both Opry members] combined, so we figured they were overdue for some recognition. It's our honor and privilege to extend this invitation … [Read more...]