Local Man Mows Vulgar Phrase on Radio Station Lawn

reginald

Local country music fan Reginald Spears was arrested Friday morning after mowing a vulgar phrase onto the lawn of radio station WTSM Catfish 104.9 FM. Police said Spears, who has a long record of misdemeanors and public complaints, was taken into custody without incident at the country station as he admired his work from the seat of his John Deere riding lawnmower. Deputy William Cranston said the man was finishing off a bottle of whiskey and singing to himself before turning around with his … [Read more...]

Garth Brooks Near Destitution

garth

Garth Brooks is nearly broke. The somber, emaciated 51-year-old across the table from our correspondent stood in stark contrast to the color-block shirted, barrel-chested wild man of Nashville memory as he confessed that "girls are expensive." Despite 200 million in album sales, years of sold out concert tours and an estimated $350 million in career earnings, the country legend is surviving on Spam and saltine crackers these days as he plots his comeback. "I know, I know... I've seen all … [Read more...]

Country Music Hall of Fame Refuses Jason Aldean’s Memorabilia Donation

Jason Aldean headshot

A guest contribution from friend and fellow The 9513 alumnus Sam Gazdziak. Thanks, Sam! Country superstar Jason Aldean admits that he was “stunned” when his generous donation of country music artifacts was nearly discarded by the Country Music Hall of Fame. The singer says that he is looking for other options to preserve and display the valuable objects, many of which he has owned for, like, months. “So much of country music's past is being forgotten, and I wanted to do something to keep … [Read more...]

Dwight Yoakam Theme Restaurant Features Mumbling Bald Man at Every Table

Dwight Yoakam theme news

With walls barren of musical memorabilia, no sound system whatsoever, and a mumbling bald man awaiting guests at every table, a new Dwight Yoakam theme restaurant in Bakersfield is proving every bit as unpredictable as its namesake. Country California was on hand to get firsthand accounts from some of the very first diners at the Tuesday grand opening of Dwight's Bakersfield Burger Pagoda, billed as "the full Dwight Yoakam culinary experience." Early reviews were mixed, with most customers … [Read more...]

Luke Bryan Releasing Line of Jeans for Preteen Girls

Luke Bryan fake news

Add Luke Bryan to the list of entertainers looking to expand their reach into the clothing business. In a Country California exclusive, the "Country Girl (Shake It for Me)" singer's representatives have confirmed that a limited-edition run of jeans for preteen girls will hit retailers in Georgia and Tennessee in time for the holiday shopping season. Dubbed CountryGirl Essentials: Apparel to Make Your Speakers Go Boom Boom, the pre-worn boot-cut skinny jeans will come with and without … [Read more...]

John Rich Just Says ‘No’ to Reality Shows

John Rich

John Rich will not simply accept any reality show offer that comes his way in order to artificially extend his fifteen minutes of fame, declares John Rich in a new, self-produced True Life: I Am John Rich special unsuccessfully shopped to MTV. "There's a perception - and I don't know where it comes from - that I'm such an attention whore that I'll immediately sign on for any stupid, slapdash reality show that promises to plaster my face on a few more billboards," says Rich in one clip, … [Read more...]

Obama, Romney Spend Final Debate on Merits of New Taylor Swift Album

Obama and Romney listen with interest as Schieffer explains his reading of "We Are Never, Ever Getting Back Together."

When frantic eleventh-hour phone calls revealed that a scheduling snafu had pitted the third presidential debate against another major national event, Barack Obama and Mitt Romney agreed to nix the planned foreign affairs focus and devote the evening's discussion to what would really be on America's mind on October 22. "This final presidential debate will focus on Taylor Swift, whose new album Red came out just this morning," moderator Bob Schieffer explained at the top of last night's … [Read more...]