Country news stories you won't find anywhere else. Because we made them up.

Jason Aldean Is Finally Happy, Really He Is

Jason Aldean headshot

Jason Aldean is finally living a fulfilled and joyous life and will assault you viciously if you don't like it, according to a recent interview with the popular Face the Country blog. Though most of the questions asked were softballs, Aldean managed to insert his aggressively petulant views on life, music, and privacy into most every response. Find an excerpted portion of the full Q&A below. Face the Country: Jason, your new single "Burnin' It Down" is just hot! Like, how'd you decide to … [Read more...]

One Truck Still Doesn’t Have a Country Song Written About It

1974 dodge

A single 1974 Dodge Club Cab pickup in Oak Vale, Mississippi, has somehow escaped the gaze and thoughtful tune-smithing of country music songwriters. The sky blue four-speed vehicle resting beneath the spreading boughs of a 61-year-old magnolia tree to the side of retired farmer Clyde Henderson's modest home has never once been the lyrical setting of a tailgate party, mudding adventure, or late night tryst. Henderson says he feels bad for "Brenda" (his affectionate name for the Dodge) because … [Read more...]

Organizers Call Second Annual “Get Drunk and Wreck Pittsburgh” Concert an Overwhelming Success

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Guest submission from friend of the site Sam Gazdziak. Thanks, Sam! As the clean-up crew at Pittsburgh’s Heinz Field digs through the first strata of garbage left by fans at last weekend’s Luke Bryan concert, concert promoters are congratulating Bryan and his fans for banding together to just trash the living hell out of the venue. "Last year’s concert featuring Eric Church and Kenny Chesney left beer cans, garbage, blood, and human excrement all over Heinz Field and the surrounding area," … [Read more...]

Touring Band’s Van and Gear Not Stolen

A popular roots rock band is not starting a Kickstarter page to defray the costs of a white 1998 Ford E-350 van and Pro-Line trailer with the band's logo on the side and $1700 in musical gear, which were quite shockingly not stolen after a recent Houston area gig. The Whiskey Hawks, of High Point, North Carolina, had just finished up their supporting set for Jason Boland at Dosey Doe in The Woodlands and ducked out a bit early. "We'd seen Jason and the guys a few times before and hung out … [Read more...]

Band Whose Music Nobody Cares to Claim Calls Self Americana

A band with a sound that inspires utter indifference across genre lines and among all strata of society has settled on "Americana" as its classification of choice, according to a posting on the band website seen by virtually nobody. Having received equally chilly receptions at honky tonks, blues festivals, indie-rock clubs, folkie coffee houses, and veterans halls, the band members had long struggled to find the right words to describe their sound to those reluctantly cornered into hearing them … [Read more...]

Hunter Hayes Fan Like Totally Doesn’t Get “The Apostle”

Hunter Hayes

According to a 12-year-old Hunter Hayes fan who viewed "The Apostle" this weekend after hearing that a very young Hayes played accordion in one scene, the entire rest of the 1997 Robert Duvall film made like literally no sense at all. "There was an old guy who was going around talking to a lot of black people about starting a church or something," said seventh grader Madison Peters of the drama about the personal struggles and search for redemption of a hot-headed Pentecostal preacher. "He … [Read more...]

Facebook Fans of Local Radio Station Perpetually Confused

Confused

According to a new study out of Auburn University, there is no better place to witness mass hysteria and confusion than in the comment sections on your local country radio station's Facebook page. "We initially thought riots, natural disasters, Black Friday sales, and advanced algebra classes would prove the most fertile ground for our work," writes confusion researcher Paul Sheener, "but we kept coming back around to those damned people on the Facebook page of [your local station's call … [Read more...]