Country singer Eric Church's new album The Outsiders is an outstanding artistic achievement such as the world has not seen in eons, reports country singer Eric Church. In a review posted on EricChurch.com, Eric Church says that the new album by Eric Church is "face-meltingly, revolutionarily good" and "obviously the product of a master craftsman of song." Church also complimented Church on his bold, convention-flouting decision to take a chance on rock producer Jay Joyce, who Church similarly … [Read more...]
Country news stories you won't find anywhere else. Because we made them up.
An international denim shortage is hitting the country music community especially hard, with sources on Nashville's Music Row calling this "our Armageddon" and "even worse than when they renamed Fan Fair." While global trade and economics experts are unsure how this situation came to pass - many are even doubtful that such a thing is possible except as a far-fetched premise for a piece of satirical news - the repercussions of the denim drought can be felt everywhere. Among country music's … [Read more...]
According to industry sources, a heavyset man with an unruly beard has been making especially good music lately but may face an uphill climb at mainstream country radio stations. The man, who crafts his own songs with all the care of a master beard groomer, is being widely credited with putting "substance ahead of style" in what sources claim is intended as a compliment to his music rather than an insult to his larger build and markedly unstylish appearance. Although the singer had not … [Read more...]
Sources report that Detroit air personality Charlie Chatterson has become insufferable since spinning Kacey Musgraves' "Follow Your Arrow" for the first time on Friday. "Ever since he played that song, it's like he thinks he's Hunter S. Thompson or Julian Assange or something," complained one fellow broadcaster. "He's always looking over his shoulder and talking about how he's sure the higher-ups are conspiring to blacklist him, but doesn't give a rip." "He says broadcasters can be … [Read more...]
At least 18 faux-outlaw country music fans are undergoing emergency facial reattachment surgeries at the University of Alabama at Birmingham's Hillcrest Medical Center this morning after attending an Eric Church show last night. According to a source at UAB, the injured began arriving within minutes of Church's 8pm start time at nearby Birmingham Amphitheater. "He kicked off with 'The Outsiders,' evidently, and it was just too much for some of these people to handle. Their faces began melting … [Read more...]
According to sources familiar with the matter, former Brooks & Dunn singer Ronnie Dunn is showing the utmost maturity and class in his attempts to get a hitmaking solo career off the ground. "To me, the remarkable thing about Ronnie," said one Music Row insider, "is that he has not become bitter. If anyone would have an uncompromised position from which to unhypocritically call out the sorry state of the industry, it'd be the guy who brought songs like 'Hillbilly Deluxe' and 'Put a Girl In … [Read more...]
In a Country California exclusive, respected music critic Elmer G. Hawkins has gone on record with the surprising observation that the music made by country women in 2013 might, in some way, be superior to that made by country men over the same time period. Hawkins, whose writings have appeared in such bastions of online countercultural criticism as Chalkboard and Trowel, explained: "What it comes down to is - this is, obviously, just my opinion! - women are making much better music this … [Read more...]