Sources close to Carrie Underwood and Mike Fisher, wed last month in a lavish ceremony at a Georgia resort, report that the couple have not yet conceived a child, but left open the possibility that they may do so at some point in the future.
“The child, when and if it arrives, could be either male or female, and will likely have blond, brown, black, or red hair. If healthy, it should weigh between 6 and 10 pounds and measure about 20 inches long,” said one of our sources. “We don’t yet know if the boy or girl will have any singing aspirations, but expect Carrie and Mike to be totally supportive either way.”
No word on possible names so far, but we like Clark for a boy and Mary for a girl. We’d also settle for a unisex option like Tracy.
On internet message boards, Underwood’s lack of pregnancy – despite having been happily married for well over five weeks – has some fans debating her fertility relative to fellow pop-country singer Taylor Swift. “taylor writes her own songs and shes SO MUCH MORE FERTILE than Carrie,” offered one anonymous fan. “As soon as TAYLOR is married, shell be popping out kids like nobodys business!!! Carries insides are like a barren dessert!!!”
More on this story as it develops.
Find more satirical articles in the Fake News archive.
Any word on what Carrie’s eating these days?
My understanding is that CMT has exclusive rights to that story.
Ha, Sam!
Oooooooh Allllllllllllll i sonnnnnnn
I know
this world
is kill
ing
you
Alll i son
My aim
is true
Let me get the rumor started, if she’s pregnant, it could be mine. It also might not be. I think we need Jerry Springer or Maury Povich to prove it with a paternity test.
Shame on you C.M. for even putting this out in public where Alison Bonaguro might actually see it! That’s all we need is to see is a “Is Carrie Pregnant Today?” feature every day at The CMT Blog from now on! Come to think of it, it would give Alison something to write about when she doesn’t come across articles about people peeing in drinks at country bars…
Marry me, This Post.
First, this article is pretty ridiculous.
Second, Alison Bonaguro is one of the most talented bloggers around, One of the main reasons is because she writes such excellent pieces about Carrie Underwood. There are millions of Carrie fans that are starving for details about her and Alison does a great job.
Bottom line is Rick you are a brainless Taylor Swift fan that is so jealous of Carrie’s success and the fact that she is so superior to Taylor Swift vocally with her horrid voice.
This is Country California! Stories like this are MEANT to be ridiculous.
And if you could tell from Rick’s frank expression of his opinion that he is brainless, and is a Taylor Swift fan, then your ability to “read between the lines” is far superior to mine.
I agree – Taylor Swift sucks! Go Carrie!
Is Trish spoofing?
I think Trish is serious. Incidentally, she also goes by the name Jim.
And many, many, others!
I don’t know what Carrie Underwood has been eating lately but I bet Mike Fisher has been dining on [redacted by editor].
Ah. Thanks for the redaction there.
If Carrie wanted kids, she wouldn’t have married a Canadian. They go sterile once their antlers drop.
That’s a good thing. Lord knows what kind of maple syrup and petroleum dripping, lumberjacking and cow-tipping, hockey and football obsessing, Sonic and Kraft Dinner eating, snow plowing and dust bowling mutants with beady eyes, banjos and flapping heads would be spawned by that union.
And then they’d all live to go on TV and yap about how their trailers were blown away by cyclones and whine how about universal health care won’t pay for bras that cover all three nipples.
And yes, Trish, I don’t know why the writers here won’t cut Alison Bonaguro some more flack. Where else would starving Carrie Cult members get their daily helpings of Vitamin BS?
That was a very rude and obnoxious comment. Is it you that is sterile? As for US CANADIANS…. I come from a family of 23 children, I have 11 of my own, my siblings have between 11 and 15 children each.
So the thought of what kind of maple syrup and petroleum dripping, lumberjacking and cow-tipping, hockey and football obsessing, Sonic and Kraft Dinner eating, snow plowing and dust bowling mutants with beady eyes, banjos and flapping heads would be spawned by that union, never crossed our minds. We might live in the cold, BUY WERE SO FERTILE IT SICK!!!! We look at someone, and we get pregnant, so Carrie will probably have an entire hockey team of their own.
AS FOR FINDING A BRA TO FIT MY THIRD NIPPLE, THAT’S NO PROBLEM. WE MAKE THEM.So if you need help decorating your trailer, or filling out your HMO papers. Let me know, 87% of us have a University degree.
Oh, by the way, I can order a bra for you if you want, what size do you wear? I’d say TRIPLE A. As in ass…….
You have how many siblings? Your siblings and you have how many kids? You aren’t making Canada look better. Are you a Duggar?
Cut some more flack?
I’ll just confirm that “Jim” isn’t me…
A likely story!
This is the funniest thread I’ve read in a long time. Thanks guys, gals or whatevers.
This thread was nearly as entertaining as the story. lolz
I agree with the part says that the child will be either male or female, with brown, blond, black or (god forbid) red hair.