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Carrie Underwood Bites Head Off Live Broccoli Onstage

Former American Idol winner and country superstar Carrie Underwood upset plant rights activists Wednesday night with a shocking act at her Memphis concert. During her encore, in the midst of the blazing “Sweet Child o’ Mine” guitar solo, Underwood, wearing over-the-knee leather boots and a tight black dress, walked to the middle of the stage with a Ziploc enclosure of fresh veggies in her hand. The crowd gasped as Underwood reached into the baggie and selected a crisp piece of broccoli, still dripping with morning dew. As the solo reached its zenith, Underwood neatly snipped the head off the helpless garden dweller with a quick click of her pearly whites, smiling coldly all the while. As juices and bits of green flesh dripped down her chin, Underwood casually ripped off the “where do we go now?” refrain with terrifying ease over audible gasps from concert goers. Portions of the FedEx Forum audience seemed appalled at the carnage, while others cheered her on.

Underwood finished her set with an attitude-filled take on her massive hit “Before He Cheats” before swiftly leaving the stage, her visible discomposure reflecting a dawning awareness of the wicked deed she had just committed. PEVA (People for Ethical Vegetable Accommodation) spokeswoman Greta Peels said her organization was pushing Memphis-area law enforcement for a full investigation into the matter.

Reported by “Trailer” Parkman of Farce the Music

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3 Comments

  1. “PEVA (People for Ethical Vegetable Accommodation) spokeswoman Greta Peels said her organization was pushing Memphis-area LAW enforcement for a full investigation into the matter”

    Great post, but shouldn’t that read: LAWN enforcement? ;)

  2. “As the solo reached its zenith, Underwood neatly snipped the head off the helpless garden dweller with a quick click of her pearly whites, smiling coldly all the while.”

    Sweet.

  3. Lettuce hope it doesn’t happen again.

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