All of Nashville erupted into activity on Monday following the inexplicable death of all Nashville-area grandfathers on Sunday. In addition to the expected church visits and funeral arrangements, people were also spotted embracing former enemies, eloping with longtime live-in partners, frolicking with their children in parks, phoning friends they hadn’t spoken to in years, holding their eyes open wide so as to avoid blinking, and signing up en masse for skydiving lessons. This sudden citywide outbreak of productive optimism is believed to be related to something the grandfathers said while on their deathbeds, though the exact nature of those comments is unknown. The situation prompted local news personality Pat Parker to speculate: “It appears that the kindly advice offered by these grandfathers in their final moments has become like a new life philosophy for those left behind. Nashville is a writer’s town, so don’t be surprised if what’s happening here today makes it into a song or two!” At press time, every songwriter in Nashville was hunched over a notepad, scribbling furiously.
Concept by Farce the Music