Bush, Nettles Sustain Minor Injuries in Comically-Oversized Hamster Ball Collision

January 12th, 2009 | Categories: Fake News | Discussion: 7 comments

Sugarland’s Jennifer Nettles and Kristian Bush were both injured today during rehearsals for the duo’s upcoming 2009 tour. Nettles and Bush were running giddily across a Nashville-area athletic field in clear plastic globes, imitating the crowd-surfing portion of their show, when a sudden gust of wind sent their oversized hamster balls sailing toward each other at high speeds. The force of the ensuing collision sent both stars flying into the frontal walls of their respective globes. Nettles recovered admirably, leaping back up and mouthing “Whoops!” in the most adorable manner possible, while Bush remained curled up at the bottom of his globe with an inexplicably serene expression on his face. The two stars were escorted to a nearby hospital, where they were treated for minor injuries and released. They are expected to return to rehearsals tomorrow for the next phase of their training program, Goofy Dancing on Super Long Treadmills.


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  1. January 12th, 2009 at 11:39
    Reply | Quote | #1

    You ruined it with that last line. ;)

  2. January 12th, 2009 at 11:42
    Reply | Quote | #2

    I added that just now because it makes me nervous when I see a fan site linking to a fake news story.

    I’ll put it here instead so that it doesn’t interrupt the flow of the main piece: This is just a joke.

  3. January 12th, 2009 at 15:40
    Reply | Quote | #3

    One of my greatest ambitions is to see Sugarland and the Flaming Lips battle it out for hamster-ball superiority.

  4. January 12th, 2009 at 16:15
    Reply | Quote | #4

    It’s kind pf physically impossible for the wind to force them into each other… (Sorry, I have a physics exam tomorrow.)

    But still funny. That ‘Everyday America” treadmill was very very odd.

  5. January 12th, 2009 at 16:21
    Reply | Quote | #5

    Kristen Hall was spotted fleeing the scene with a wind machine in tow.

    Hamster ball deathmatch? I’m for it.

  6. January 12th, 2009 at 18:05
    Reply | Quote | #6

    “Kristen Hall was spotted fleeing the scene with a wind machine in tow.”

    Too funny! Though I’m not sure she could actually ‘flee’ by definition of the word.

  7. Dan
    January 12th, 2009 at 21:16
    Reply | Quote | #7

    Dude, you need to add the Kristen Hall bit. That’s priceless.

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