Brantley Gilbert fan Nat Barksdale of Covington, Georgia, recently announced that he will graduate high school this spring, making him the first Gilbert fan to do so without the aid of post-dropout GED courses.
“My counselor says it looks like I’m going to scrape by in driver’s ed and welding class and finally graduate!” said an elated Nathaniel, who will gain his 22nd credit, making him graduation-ready after six years of studious classwork. “It’s been a struggle,” he admitted, “but thanks to a couple of tutors and Brantley Gilbert’s inspirational music, I’m going to throw that mortal board (sic) in the air this May!”
“It was dicey there for a while,” said Barksdale’s frazzled guidance counselor Renny Smith, “but we finally got him off crystal meth and got him to buckle down and it looks like he’ll be out of my hair for good!” She continued: “He’s a pretty good boy, but that arson conviction in 10th grade really set him back; I’m thankful he put his nose to the grindstone and is finishing on a high note.”
After an uncomfortably long parking lot kiss from his 8th grade girlfriend, Jeanette Cosby, Nat told us: “You don’t know how happy I was to hear the word ‘graduation.’ Me and Jeanny can finally get married this summer!” Cosby, in her second trimester of pregnancy, smiled and added: “Nat’s gonna start at the A/C coil factory in June and mama’s already got us a spot picked out for the trailer.”
Strains of Brantley Gilbert’s “You Don’t Know Her Like I Do” echoed through the low-riders and Bondo-colored economy cars as the couple danced a victory waltz. Barksdale’s ‘homeboys’ stood back against a cattle-guard gate smoking and gently applauding the success of their Affliction-tshirt-clad idol.
“We’re hitting up the Eric Church/Brantley Gilbert show in Orange Beach next month to celebrate!” exclaimed Barksdale, tipping back a Steel Reserve tallboy.
“Well, I’ve got to get back to Algebra 1 before I get counted tardy,” said the 20-year-old as he bid us adieu through the haze of Camel smoke.
At press time, Nat was expected to be granted a lifetime membership to the Brantley Gilbert Nation fan club for his unprecedented academic accomplishments.