Fans hoping to catch a show by Southern rock charmers Blackberry Smoke are out of luck for at least the next couple months: The band has announced a hiatus through March and April as all five members prepare to portray Jesus in separate Easter plays.
“Although I won’t be out there rocking their faces off with my buddies in the band, fans in the Atlanta area can still catch me in the Easter play at Hillcrest Baptist Church on the nights of April 23 and 24,” says vocalist Charlie Starr, swathed in a white sheet. “I had never done any acting before, but they saw me unloading some equipment at a gig and said I’d be perfect.”
Bassist Richard Turner tells a similar story of how he came to acquire the starring role in a Resurrection play at nearby Our Lady of the Meadow Catholic Church. “I was just walking down the street and this church van pulled up next to me. These guys in sweater vests jumped out and grabbed me. Once they explained what was going on, I was cool with it. I guess they were pretty desperate to find someone who looked the part.”
“The only BS thing about it,” adds drummer Brit Turner, himself the star of the Easter play at Peace in the Valley Presbyterian, “is that they asked me to cut off some of my hair and clean up the beard a little bit so I wouldn’t look like, quote, a drifter. What the heck? Jesus was a drifter, man. I’m not gonna do it.”
With guitarist Paul Jackson and keyboard player Brandon Still also booked for Easter engagements, there’s a bit of friendly wagering among the band’s members about whose turn as the Savior will be best received.
“I’ve got three loaves on Brandon,” cracks Starr, fussing at his thorny crown.
Blackberry Smoke will release their first Southern gospel album, The Jesus Squad, on June 21.
Find more satirical articles in the Fake News archive.