Fake News Gets the Scoop on Keith Urban’s Stultifying New Single

Though he just sent the obligatory third single (which obligatorily features a performance video) from Defying Gravity to radio this past week, Fake News has received exclusive information about the first single from Keith Urban's forthcoming moderately anticipated seventh album. The mid-tempo pop-country anthem entitled "This Is a Pretty Good Song," cowritten by Urban and a songwriter whose name you'd recognize, showcases Keith's excellent, but getting less interesting, guitar skills and his … [Read more...]

Justin Moore Concert Cut Short

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At last month's Sturgis Bike Rally in Sturgis, SD, abridged-stature country singer Justin Moore was forced to leave the stage mid-concert due to the unruly crowd. Moore, who just celebrated his first #1 song with "Small Town USA," was unable to perform over the wave of raucous laughter which began halfway through his song "I Could Kick Your Ass," so he unceremoniously exited with several minutes left in his set. "I couldn't help it," snickered North Carolina motorcycle enthusiast Clyde … [Read more...]

David Letterman: Quarter Pounder with Cheese Is Absolute Perfection

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Late night talk show host David Letterman has high praise for the McDonald's Quarter Pounder with Cheese. During a recent taping of his show, Letterman excitedly offered his opinion that the tasty but fattening fast food burger - which features two ground beef patties, cheddar cheese, pickle, onions, mustard and ketchup - is surely one of the finest food products ever created. "This burger is absolute perfection," glowed Dave, patting his protruding belly as he watched Late Show staffers … [Read more...]

Song About Country Pride to Be Released

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Next Monday, country music fans will witness the historic release of a game-changing new single. The song, performed by an up-and-coming B-list male singer with a fondness for wearing white t-shirts, is rumored to employ the rarely used "listing" technique to promote the little-known personal preferences of non city-dwellers. A bevy of Nashville's most successful songwriters brought their staggering creative genius together to create this masterpiece during a recent writing session. "We … [Read more...]

Chuck Wicks’ Boating Festival Concert a Memorable Affair

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Country sensation Chuck Wicks headlined Grenada, Mississippi's "Thunder on Water" safe boating festival this past weekend and it was quite the remarkable show, according to fans. "That concert was hot!" said festival goer Jenny Wilkins. "I mean it was like 105 heat index, right? I sweated through my tube top." Greenwood resident Mitch Granger reported having a great time at the concert as well. "I was soooo wasted," laughed Mitch. "Who was singing again?" Obviously invigorated by the … [Read more...]

Keith Urban’s Cheap Tickets Not All They’re Cracked Up to Be

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Earlier this year, country superstar Keith Urban announced plans to offer some concert tickets for the recession-friendly price of $20. With premium tickets often going for upwards of a hundred dollars, the pledge to provide a more affordable alternative for cash-strapped country fans was met with praise and excitement. Well, it turns out that the low price is only half of the story. Some concertgoers to Urban's "Escape Together" tour have contacted us with surprising news about those cheap … [Read more...]

Josh Turner Turns Water Into Pabst

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In what can only be described as a miracle, baritone-voiced country crooner Josh Turner did more than sing love songs at the recent Franks-Haddington wedding party. Though happy with his ice-cold Coke, the singer took action when he heard other wedding reception guests complaining about the sparse beverage selection. There were six large water dispensers on one of the tables and a few sodas, but no alcohol and the crowd was getting anxious. As some of the bridesmaids giggled, Turner laid his … [Read more...]