Sarah Buxton Mistaken for Emily West or Vice Versa

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In a humorous case of mistaken identity, an attractive new female country singer with a top 40 hit has been confused with another attractive new female country singer with a top 40 hit. According to an eyewitness, the up-and-coming singer/songwriter Emily West was walking through the Nashville airport when an adoring fan asked for her autograph. A moderate blush became a big laugh when the young girl handed Ms. Buxton a glossy 8x10 of up-and-coming singer/songwriter Emily West. West, ever the … [Read more...]

Trent Tomlinson Just Likes to Wear the Doo Rag

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Trent Tomlinson wants you to know that he just likes the way it looks. Regarding his trademark doo rag, Tomlinson told FNN (Fake News Network): "The doo rag is awesome... it's my signature. It's mysterious and makes me look like a cage fighter." When asked if he'd taken part in any MMA fights, he replied in the negative. "I am not hiding anything, though. There's no receding hairline, no moles, no butterfly tattoo. I've heard all the gossip," he laughed. "Right now I'm just here to talk about my … [Read more...]

Jason Aldean Stabbed in Biker Bar Brawl

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Country singer Jason Aldean was seriously injured in an altercation at a Pensacola bar on Tuesday night. On a two-night break from his current tour, Aldean was blowing off a little steam when the fight occurred. "He zoomed up in... wide open, on his black Harley and parked in the handicap spot," said bar patron Ernest Bexley, who saw the whole thing go down. "He was looking for trouble from the word go. Didn't have nobody with him but a bad attitude." Bexley continued: "He stomped out a … [Read more...]

Hank III’s First Draft of New Monday Night Football Theme Deemed Inappropriate

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ESPN and NFL officials are beginning to regret asking Hank Williams III to pen and perform a new theme song for the stalwart Monday Night Football franchise. After deeming his first attempt "vulgar," "loud," "inappropriate" and "out of tune," MNF producers have asked Williams for a rewrite. "For the 2010-11 season, we wanted to reach a younger audience with a more rocking and contemporary theme song. Who better than the son of Bocephus, whose song 'Are You Ready for Some Football?' we've used … [Read more...]

Alan Jackson Seeks Embarrassing Dud for Next Album

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As lead single "It's Just That Way" hits select radio stations, Alan Jackson has made an open call for a particular song type to fill out the track listing on his next studio album. "Well shucks," said the long tall Georgian, "we were doing a final listen through of all the tracks to determine the song order for the new record and noticed something strange. All the songs were devoid of awkward 'hip' phrases, bad near-rhymes, strange metaphors, dopey technology references and lines that would … [Read more...]

MuzikMafia Announces Cutbacks

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At a MuzikMafia Headquarters press conference Friday, Nashville music collective MuzikMafia announced moves to scale back operations in the short term due to the ongoing economic recession. Wiping a tear from his eye and clearing his throat, Mafia CPO (Chief Pimp of Operations) John Rich listed the names. "Cowboy Troy, Two Foot Fred and that chick who paints while people sing have been released from the MuzikMafia with a generous severance package. It's nothing personal, and we wish them the … [Read more...]

Axl Rose Recording Country Album

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Spurred on by Gone Country rock-star pal Sebastian Bach, rock icon and lead singer of Guns n' Roses, Axl Rose, has begun work on an epic country album. In a nearly-coherent blog diatribe directed at some unnamed assailant in the Nashville press, Rose announced his plans in maniacally honest detail. Here is an excerpt from that post: "Despite this uneducated m*****-f*****'s baseless claims and slander against me, I will persevere and this album will see the light of the day in a few short … [Read more...]