Reports of Waylon Jennings Sightings on the Rise

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Numerous sightings of music legend Waylon Jennings, who passed away in 2002, have been reported in the Nashville area of late, with most eyewitnesses agreeing that he is very much alive and quite pissed off. According to police reports, the allegedly non-dead Jennings has taken part in a number of questionable and/or criminal activities. On Thursday, the Grand Ole Opry called police out to investigate an incident of vandalism. The words "Hank ain't here so kiss my ass" and Waylon's trademark … [Read more...]

Lady Antebellum Opposite Band Finding It a Hard Go

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Dude Reconstruction, a Shreveport-based Lady Antebellum opposite band, is having a difficult time finding its footing in the entertainment business. Based on recurring Saturday Night Live gimmick Jon Bovi (link), Dude R takes Lady A songs and flips the lyrics on their head. Audiences thus far have been bemused, to put it mildly. "I don't know what the hell they're singing about. Space is spinning slower and crap like that. I recognize the tune, but man... Is that girl on drugs?" wondered … [Read more...]

Sarah Buxton Mistaken for Emily West or Vice Versa

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In a humorous case of mistaken identity, an attractive new female country singer with a top 40 hit has been confused with another attractive new female country singer with a top 40 hit. According to an eyewitness, the up-and-coming singer/songwriter Emily West was walking through the Nashville airport when an adoring fan asked for her autograph. A moderate blush became a big laugh when the young girl handed Ms. Buxton a glossy 8x10 of up-and-coming singer/songwriter Emily West. West, ever the … [Read more...]

Trent Tomlinson Just Likes to Wear the Doo Rag

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Trent Tomlinson wants you to know that he just likes the way it looks. Regarding his trademark doo rag, Tomlinson told FNN (Fake News Network): "The doo rag is awesome... it's my signature. It's mysterious and makes me look like a cage fighter." When asked if he'd taken part in any MMA fights, he replied in the negative. "I am not hiding anything, though. There's no receding hairline, no moles, no butterfly tattoo. I've heard all the gossip," he laughed. "Right now I'm just here to talk about my … [Read more...]

Jason Aldean Stabbed in Biker Bar Brawl

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Country singer Jason Aldean was seriously injured in an altercation at a Pensacola bar on Tuesday night. On a two-night break from his current tour, Aldean was blowing off a little steam when the fight occurred. "He zoomed up in... wide open, on his black Harley and parked in the handicap spot," said bar patron Ernest Bexley, who saw the whole thing go down. "He was looking for trouble from the word go. Didn't have nobody with him but a bad attitude." Bexley continued: "He stomped out a … [Read more...]

Hank III’s First Draft of New Monday Night Football Theme Deemed Inappropriate

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ESPN and NFL officials are beginning to regret asking Hank Williams III to pen and perform a new theme song for the stalwart Monday Night Football franchise. After deeming his first attempt "vulgar," "loud," "inappropriate" and "out of tune," MNF producers have asked Williams for a rewrite. "For the 2010-11 season, we wanted to reach a younger audience with a more rocking and contemporary theme song. Who better than the son of Bocephus, whose song 'Are You Ready for Some Football?' we've used … [Read more...]

Alan Jackson Seeks Embarrassing Dud for Next Album

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As lead single "It's Just That Way" hits select radio stations, Alan Jackson has made an open call for a particular song type to fill out the track listing on his next studio album. "Well shucks," said the long tall Georgian, "we were doing a final listen through of all the tracks to determine the song order for the new record and noticed something strange. All the songs were devoid of awkward 'hip' phrases, bad near-rhymes, strange metaphors, dopey technology references and lines that would … [Read more...]