All ACM Performances to Be Duets with Taylor Swift
Exciting new details about the 45th annual Academy of Country Music Awards, set to air live from Las Vegas on April 18: In an effort to woo younger viewers, the ACM and CBS have jointly announced that all of the performances on the telecast will feature Taylor Swift in a co-vocalist role.
According to ACM Chairman John Grady, the change will provide just the shot of youthful energy that the show needs.
“When it comes to live broadcasts, it makes sense to put your strongest live vocalists front and center. So the decision to add Taylor to every performance was an easy one, especially after her stunning showing at the Grammys. Stevie WHO, am I right?”
Swift’s ability to draw coveted young viewers means that the ACM will be able to take chances on performers who have not historically been able to command the attention of said demographic on their own, much as Swift carried Nicks through their collaboration on Sunday’s Grammy show.
Grady explained: “For the first time in a long time, one of country music’s all-time greats, Ray Price, will be performing on the telecast. We think viewers will get a big kick out of seeing him harmonize with Taylor on ‘For the Good Times.’ Talk about the clash of the titans! We’re also shining the spotlight on songwriters, with a Larry Cordle/Taylor Swift duet of an old chestnut called ‘Murder on Music Row.’ It should be a lot of fun. We even talked Willie Nelson into joining in on one of the verses!”
Of course, Swift will also join her contemporaries on recent hits like “Big Green Tractor,” “I Just Call You Mine,” “American Saturday Night,” and “Temporary Home” “Small Town USA.”
“If you like Taylor Swift, this will be the thing to watch,” remarked Grady. “She’s America’s sweetheart, and for one night, she’s ours. By God, we’ll milk every last bit of exposure we can out of the opportunity. Every second without her beautiful, surprised face onscreen is wasted time.”
Swift will remain in Vegas the day after the telecast to film a feature-length tribute to Brooks & Dunn, who she calls “probably the oldest country singers I know.” According to Big Machine head honcho Scott Borchetta, her rendition of the rangy “My Maria” will surprise fans, and perhaps even win over a few jealous critics. “It’ll grab them by the ears and have them bawling… in a good way, I mean,” promises Borchetta.
Concept by Farce the Music. Find more satirical articles in the Fake News archive.
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Awesome.
Just perfect. Perhaps my favorite ever.
Very funny!
Find more satirical articles in the Fake News archive.
Smooth!
And it was still picked up as real news!
Let me guess the crazy fans of Taylor Swift?
Gotta love the fake news section
CM, you forgot to mention that in order to boost ratings the producers have just decided the actual country artists nominated should remain seated in the audience throughout the entire show! All of Taylor’s duet vocalists will now be mega-star pop artists whom Taylor’s fans love! Among those mentioned thus far are Justin Beiber, The Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus, Demi Lovato, the entire cast of the “High Scool Musical” films, Colbie Caillat, and Katy Perry! Lady GaGa was considered but deemed “age inappropriate” for Taylor’s core audience of ‘tween and pre-tween shrieking little girls. The producers now face the challenge of assigning nominated songs to the participating pop artists so they can learn them by showtime. When Katy Perry was offered “She’s Country” her response was “Well whomever “she” is might be country, but you producers are a bunch of &*%#@!$%)^%$#@(^%*!”
So my wife insisted on watching the grammy’s the other night and as a result I watched the Taylor Swift / Stevie Nix collaboration. During her performance I had a sort of revelation. Okay so not so much a revelation but an eerie similarity. During the second part of her set (is 1.5 songs considered a set?) Swift began playing “You belong with me” (I think that was the one) , it was much more acousticly driven than the version i’ve heard on the radio and I was left with the feeling that I had just watched a female version of Dashboard Confessional. Did anyone else make this connection or was it just me. I mean even the timbre of her voice and diction I thought was very Dashboardy. Certainly the teenage love letter-esque lyrics would work. Just a long, drawn out, rambling thought. I was curious if I was the only one.
She was doing Butch Walker’s arrangement (and he was playing banjolin): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOQAjsi0YQA
I think they have totally lost their minds, for her to be singing of all songs Murder on Music Row, heck she is the person they are talking about in that song, ask George Jones what he thinks of Taylor Swift, and as for her so called performance on the grammy’s everyone was saying it was awful, and that was the nicer comments, don’t these people get it, she cannot sing live for the life of her, and she can throw her hair all over the place it doesn’t help. As for Stevie Nicks I felt so sorry for her, you could see she was so uncomfortable as Taylor was singing so loud and off-key that she was trying to help her, to no avail, well this is one year I sure won’t be watching. These fools are crazy cuz the kids who are following her now will grow up and get tired of her, while the true country fans will be here but not able to forget how they treated the amazing artists, to force the Great Ray Price to have to sing with her is absurd and a total insult. When they gave him his award they never even invited him up on stage, oh I give up, let them have their fun, I hope all the country music lovers don’t watch this insane show, I usually mute her orelse just switch it while she is on, but this won’t be a possibility if this is their ridiculous plan, well I almost bought tickets thank God I didn’t glad I didn’t waste the money, I am not wasting anymore time on this, they have made up their mind to make a total mockery of true country music so heck with them I will listen to my fav’s and forget this bs, her parents have deep pockets thats why she got to play in the beginning, she can fool the kids but not the adults!!
Nikki…I’m not trying to be mean…but I think you need to look at the article a little bit closer. Particularly the italicized line after the end of the story.
Nikki, calm down, this is a fake news story. It is not real. It is supposed to be funny. Wow!
You don’t think “Temporary Home” connects with Teens?
Alright…this is gonna be exciting. Personally, I’d just as soon have Taylor sing all of these songs on her own Underwood just would’ve embarassed herself in a duet with Swift on “Temporary Home” anyway. And I’d love to hear Taylor’s take on shining lights of the genre such as “Whistlin Dixie”, “Southern Voice”, “Backwoods”, and “Beer On the Table” (even though she’s a tad underage for that one).
In all seriousness, nice work, C.M. Me thinks Scott B. made a bigger spectacle out of an issue that probably would’ve just gone away had he not opened his mouth.
LOL This is hilarious! I agree Mike! Scott Borchetta: open mouth and insert foot.
Good idea – with any luck her duet partners will be able to drown out Taylor’s vocals !
Depending on the song’s success she may also duet with Fast Ryde on “Top Down”; at least then they can make her vocals sound good.
Oh good god. I was planning on watching the show this year, but now that I find out that this broad will be in every performance, I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle it. I can’t stand her, or her horrid vocals. Hopefully every partner in the duets will drown her out because it will already be bad enough to listen to her.